Single Life

Just Call Me The Relationship Whisperer

June 23, 2013 by MsCheevious

That’s me. The Relationship Whisperer… Well, more like the Relationship “Hit-em-over-the-head” er.

But everyone needs their own personal relationship whisperer, to help stop them from committing the cRaZIeS every now and then.

If you are a single lady, or know any, hang out with me here for a bit, and I guarantee you’ll be glad you did.

Allow me to share a little example of my Relationship Whispering at work, to prove what a STUD I am, before you pass judgement. After said example I’ll share some beautiful jewels of ageless wisdom.

A friend of mine, Glitter Nails, is in the early stages of a “situation” with a guy she actually likes more than her new manicure (the manicure with glitter and little cartoon characters on alternating nails).

We texted about her situation, because she felt her guy “Cutie” was acting “different” or distancing himself the night before. We spoke on the phone at first… but then I was telling M.C. Nugget about it, and he reminded me of some great points… So, here is my text conversation with Glitter Nails below:

Know why she simply replied “Thank you!”? Because I’m right! Damn straight! But keep reading. The inspiration continues … also there is a typo a little ways down… but just keep reading…

Just so you know, the part above that says “totally secure and. Oil okay with that” is suppose to say “totally secure and totally okay with that“. My iPhone and I are at the intersection of Love and Hate right now… It’s a bit of a crossroads where I keep trying to figure out how not to throw it out the window, and it keeps trying to learn not to misspell, but fails constantly.

A sure sign of any “whisperer” of sorts, is when the subject begins to feel empowered and capable of doing what’s necessary. Glitter had the right idea there when she said “Just going to leave it alone.” So, of course I continued…

Her response was simply “Thank you – you are right.”

I rest my case.

Now listen up ladies (and gents, if you happen to know someone to share this with). I’m about to unleash some nuggets that could change your life. I’m not kidding.

To sum up this and a myriad of other dating situations between men and women, here is how you ladies should behave if you want to attract the best friend who is worthy of being in your life:

1) Maintain your awesome, fun, incredible life regardless of how much a guy wants to see you – even at the beginning. If you get sucked into a day and night, constant phone calls and texting situation, it’s okay. Just remember and continue to remind yourself that this is only preliminary and temporary… He WILL move on from this at some point. He ALWAYS does.

2) Until you are actually IN a REAL relationship, and you’ve had the conversation about dating exclusively… well, let’s face it. It’s anything but exclusive, so all bets are off baby. Keep your dating card open and scheduled, even if it’s with guys you don’t necessarily want to date long term. Keep yourself BUSY and distracted. If you do, it will help you with so much more than you can imagine, and if you don’t, you’ll be in danger of pining, thinking, wishing and wondering during your idle time. And for what? Remember… You are AWESOME & INCREDIBLE… which brings me to #3:

3) Keep reminding yourself of your sky high value – your awesomeness – and of the AWESOME-SAUCE life you are building for yourself. Do NOT get stuck in the imagination rut where you picture all the other pretty girls he is probably talking to or dating.

Admit it. Every one of you single ladies, when suddenly not in touch with Mr. Lover Boy, envisions him out sailing on a yacht flanked by hot chicks, drinking and dancing the night away with a slew of other women. That, or at best, you’re taking on his martyrdom, making excuses for and enabling him to be a sad-sap because of a broken home, divorce from five years ago, or whatever… Women are too good at making allowances for a guy’s difficult life… When in reality, if you actually spent all that time and energy working on becoming the finished product you want to be, and reminding yourself of all of the incredible traits that make you beautiful – you wouldn’t have the time or inclination to imagine anything about him. Or better yet, when you do go down the road of imagining his world, you will recognize that bad habit early on, and bring it to a screeching halt.

Now, just for giggles here are some other things that will empower you on the road:

a) Don’t be the first to reach out. When you go a few days without the communication you’re accustomed to, DO NOT be the first to reach out. When he does reach out (and he will), go back to #3 above and remember how awesome you are, and think about your cool, busy, mover-and-shaker life (or of how it will one day be that way, because of the YOU you’re developing now). Then, don’t answer his call right away. LET him leave a voicemail. If he doesn’t leave one, LET IT GO. Don’t call back from a missed call right away. Don’t text him back. Make him wait.

This is not a game with him… I SWEAR.TO.GOD he isn’t even thinking about “it.” You can call it a game you have to play with yourself if you want – but it’s really just a new discipline you are practicing for YOU. You’ll need to do this until you learn to respect yourself too much to be willing to JUMP at the slightest hint of attention from Mr. Lover Boy. Don’t respond for at least four hours the first time, and try to work up to a day or two. Even if he called and didn’t leave a message. It was probably a pocket dial anyway. Sorry, I’m merely whispering the truth here.

b) You are a happy, welcome breeze to him. When you do call or text him back, keep it upbeat. No, I don’t mean in the 1950’s outdated, outmoded housewife sense. I mean, don’t be a friggin’ DOWNER. Do NOT use this as an opportunity to express your worry during the time he was out of touch, or to get whiny or weird, or ask him if you can get together. Remember, you’ve been so busy tending to your awesome, incredible life, and changing the world in the process, you really hadn’t even noticed that “Gee!! Has it really been since last Sunday that we spoke? No way!” Plus, you too are seeing his call or email (whatever) as a welcome breeze that came in to distract you away from your crazy empire. DO that for yourself. You’ll actually begin to believe it ladies. I promise. You won’t actually say you’ve been so busy building your empire (or business, or attending countless events, whatever). You don’t want the guy to feel less than you, while you’re learning this new discipline. You might simply say “Hey there! How are you? It’s great to hear from you!” And if in his upbeat and awesome way he says something about how he’s just been too busy to call, etc… Don’t even address it. Move on and say, “So, how’ve things been going?” Maybe follow up on a project or event he shared with you in the past.

c) Do not accept a same-day invitation. Remember: Just because he is busy, and can’t be expected to call you every moment, doesn’t mean that isn’t true for you as well. This is true even if you’ve been hoping/wishing/waiting for that call or invitation. You’ve got “things” to do. You are busy. Even if “busy” means you’re filing your nails, by god, you are BUSY, dammit. He doesn’t need to hear from you that he should plan in advance… A few “no” answers because he keeps inviting you out at the last minute will be all he needs to get a clue. If he doesn’t get it from that, either he simply IS too busy for you, and isn’t the right guy, or he’s too clueless to be worth your time. If you are doing #2 in that section above… remaining distracted while this guy gets a clue, I guarantee you that if Mr. Lover Boy isn’t all he’s cracked up to be, you’ll merely be free to notice someone who is.

You’ve just been *whispered* to people. Don’t miss the gems when they come.

Enjoy your week you gorgeous people!

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

aka Lisa Jey Davis

Editor in [Mis]Chief

————————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive these weekly blog posts via email on the upper right corner of any page on Ms. Cheevious.
Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

FOLLOW MS. CHEEVIOUS IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

Twitter FB Videos Tumblr Follow Lisa Jey Davis on Google+

You can also follow Ms. Cheevious’ beau M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

————————-

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

WE WOULD APPRECIATE ANY CLICKS! MWAH!

BOOKS
	Get your copy of my yoga routine “Ahhhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for as low as .99 cents!
	And coming soon ‘Getting Over Your Ovaries. How to Make ‘The Change of Life’ Your Bitch’! *DANCING DORKISHLY AROUND THE ROOM*
———————- GIFTS!
	Kindle Covers, VERY COOL Luggage Tags, iPhone 5 Covers, and MORE. Scroll all the way down to see all that we have to offer!
———————-
	Click the image & It will Add a Vote for us! Super EASY:

———————-

Check out the Ms. Cheevious entire boutique on Zazzle:

Ms. Cheevious Grand Adventure

———————-

Contact us

Resolution-Based Date Ideas for 2013

December 28, 2012 by MsCheevious

This is going to be brief (not). We are far too busy during the holidays to sit around reading random posts by aspiring writers (even if they’ve just published a book on Amazon for Kindle – oh yeah… uh huh…). But I wanted to get this off to you quickly… before the Hanukkah and Christmas decorations were yanked off the walls and the New Year’s Eve celebrations and the endless professions of New Year’s Resolutions began.

You know, I’m not much on making resolutions. I’ve got enough lists of things to do, one of which is my list of lifelong and short-term goals. I am so damn goal-oriented, I get overwhelmed looking at how long my list of goals has become.

That said, I’m not living under a rock, and I see your tweets and Facebook posts. I see what you share with me in your circles. I realize everyone is thinking in these last few days of the year about New Year’s Resolutions.

So I’m going to provide you my giant list of Goals or Resolutions for the coming year (there are two), and I’m double-timing the list. It will also serve as a list of great date ideas for you and any significant other you choose, or happen to be with, in 2013. I love killing two birds with one stone. So instead of hitting the Hot or Not or Tinder app you single wild-things, try THIS. And this first one might feel a little harsh, but that’s what resolutions are for.

1. CLEANSE THE CRAP AWAY.

My Resolution: This past year I went through a TON of crap, surgically, physically, mentally, emotionally… you name it. I also have deep emotions about food and booze. I’m in love with both of them. It’s a sordid love triangle. If I need to feel the love, I allow myself more indulgence than is generally necessary. So, come January, (after the New Year’s holiday travel), I’ll be lean, and dry, eating organically as much as possible, and drinking all non-alcoholic beverages. I plan to do this for at least a month. Stay tuned on that.

Your Date: Similar to me, many of you have experienced your own share of CRAP. Only yours may have been with the opposite sex. If that is the case, do a cleansing ritual of your own (perhaps burn their names on little tiny pieces of paper and send their ashes down the toilet). Then do us all a favor (yourself mostly) and vow to have a closed door policy on your life, would you? At least in regard to Mr. or Ms. Charming. Unless he or she does what they should to be granted admittance, don’t let that door creak open. Trust me. You’ll be surprised and delighted. Once you are surprised and delighted, let them in, and you can continue the cleansing as follows:

Take a BATH together baby. You and your date should seek out a cool bath house, a hot springs spa, outdoor pools, or simply fill the backyard (or indoor) Jacuzzi! Then jump in and enjoy. Bring the strawberries and wine or champagne. Just because I am abstaining from alcohol, doesn’t mean you must.

2. EXERCISE FREQUENTLY.

My Resolution: For the same reasons listed above, my daily workout regimen has suffered greatly. I’m feeling more these days like a bobble-body than a svelte, lean, mean fighting machine (which I vehemently prefer). Play time is OVER. Time to get back to it, and at LEAST 3 times per week, at that. This starts the same time as the cleansing. Yes. It’s on. (And yes, I will probably be doing my yoga practice which is in my new book on Amazon — yeeeeee!!!!)

Your Date: We could figuratively go to a wide array of places with this one… have sex frequently (I love that one), go to the gym together… But how about you go out for a long walk or hike? Next time, ride bikes. Don’t own one? Take a drive to the nearest bike-friendly location and rent them for the day. If bikes aren’t your thing, there are any number of alternatives: roller skating, blading, skateboarding, exercise your mind playing chess in the park. Pick an exercise and do it together!

That’s all I got for ya‘. I told you it would be brief. Now, if you are so inclined, I’d love for you to find my books on Amazon for the Kindle, Kindle Fire and Kindle Fire HD. Don’t have a Kindle? It’s okay! Amazon has a free Kindle Reader for your computer. Click here to see my books, and if you choose to purchase one for a buck, ninety-nine, there should be an option to download Kindle for PC or Mac.

Have a beautiful, fun, safe New Year’s Eve celebration lovely ladies and gentlemen! I’ll be in touch very soon!

#MomFactor: If you’re a single mom, all of the above applies to you. And I MEAN THAT. Get out there and date, lady! If you aren’t single, get out there with your significant other and DATE lady!

Dirty Little Secrets

July 14, 2012 by Dorota Skrzypek

Ms. Cheevious Note: This week, we’re participating in a virtual book tour for the popular Sex, Life & Hannah fictional series by author Dorota Skrzypek. The third book in Dorota’s jaw-dropping, frank, and relatable book series Sex, Life, & Hannah, Summer Season, is due this July. The book release party will be held at Book Soup in Los Angeles on Friday, July 20^th at 7PM (link below). Follow the rest of Dorota’s virtual book tour for an opportunity to win all three of her books here!

Below is an excerpt from chapter 19. Read it. Then, whether you love it, are incensed by it, or thrilled — TALK about it! “Share” and Tweet your comments my lovelies. Let’s show Dorota what Ms. Cheevious people can do.

xoxo

Ms. Cheevious , Editor in (Mis) Chief

———–

Dirty Little Secrets

I’m working on smoky eyes in front of my mirror, to match my long-sleeved black-cuffed mauve blouse and tight black leather shorts outfit. Butterflies in my stomach.

Three years ago, maybe even to the day, my relationship with Christian turned into an affair. I didn’t plan it that way; it just happened.

I suppose the circumstances were right. Even though The Ex and I were working on working things out, deep down inside I hated him for putting me through everything he had. It was our roughest year yet, and I was quite sure The Ex was fucking whomever he wanted to as well. For the most part, we were just keeping up appearances for our family, because they were convinced that they would still get their wedding.

I do have regret for the way I handled the situation. I know I should have dealt with it like a mature adult, whatever that means. All I can say is, I never intended on having an affair; but sometimes when you’re in a relationship, you meet someone else who fills voids that your existing relationship just doesn’t fill. Or maybe you meet someone who brings escape from the problems of your existing relationship. Or maybe you just meet someone who throws you for a loop, blows your socks off, and intrigues you like you never expected.

If at first Christian’s undivulge-able absences made my palms sweat, they soon turned into a type of foreplay, which only made my fascination for him grow. He would write me these e-mails…about what he was doing, and what he wanted to do with me—even to me sometimes—and it was all very provocative. And when he was here, I would escape to his house for a long game of chess over a bottle of wine, giving him a place to rest his head and me a moment to find……whatever it was that I was looking for.

I loved The Ex, but we’d had a dysfunctional relationship from the very beginning. One day we would be madly in love; the next day we would be screaming at each other. Our brief engagement was just another piece of evidence that we probably didn’t have what it took to make things work long-term.

Christian and I didn’t have those problems. Of course, Christian and I also didn’t see each other on a regular basis, so we never had to face the daily grind of a real courtship. It was more idealistic—an unfair comparison, I know, to my in-the-trenches life with The Ex. But at the time, Christian was…my peace in times of war. He made me feel good when The Ex made me feel smaller than a speck of dirt. Christian put a smile on my face when I didn’t think I could smile again. Christian Knight became the knight in shining armor that I’d always thought The Ex should be.

I fantasized that one day, when he returned from one of his covert missions, Christian would show up on my doorstep and tell me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, giving me the reason I needed to break up with The Ex for good. He would take me away from everything that made me despair, whisk me away to his kingdom that I knew so little about—except that it was far, far away—and we would live happily ever after. But that never happened. My relationship with Christian was as much a fantasy in my mind as it was in reality. He was an enigma, and I feared our association would forever keep itself in this one dimension. So after a year, I put an end to it.

It was an end though, without an official ending. I just stopped responding to his phone calls and e-mails, and he eventually stopped calling and writing. But every now and then I would catch myself thinking about Christian Knight, still wishing he would rescue me.

-Sex, Life, & Hannah, chapter 19

———————-

ABOUT DOROTA SKRZYPEK

Dorota Skrzypek was born in Poland, grew-up in Canada, and moved to Southern California in 1997. After many years of flying airplanes, designing airports, and dating a swarm of eligible bachelors, she decided to focus on writing fiction. Sex, Life, & Hannah is Dorota’s juicy woman-on-top book series chronicling the exploits of Hannah, a female professional trying desperately to make sense of the L.A. single life. Through broken hearts, broken dreams, and nearly-broken bed frames (yes—there is a lot of sex), Hannah grapples with the modern late-twenty-something’s conundrum: Does the fairytale life exist, and is it worth having? You can find all three books in the Sex, Life, & Hannah series on Amazon (www.amazon.com) and atwww.sexlifeandhannah.com.

The Book Release Party for Sex, Life and Hannah, Summer Season will be held at Book Soup in Los Angeles on Friday, July 20^th at 7PM (http://www.sexlifeandhannah.com/summer-season-book-launch/).

MORE WAYS TO FIND DOROTA

Website: www.sexlifeandhannah.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/sexlifehannah @sexlifehannah

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexLifeandHannah

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

FOLLOW MS. CHEEVIOUS IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

Twitter FB Videos Tumblr

You can also follow Ms. Cheevious’ beau M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

Half-Naked Dance Party

June 3, 2012 by Jewels

Boys and girls, Ms. Cheevious will be off galavanting around the world for the next several weeks. I’m sorry, I just don’t have time for the blog right now. It happens. But I’ll be sure to post some fabulous pics from the road. To top it off, while I am jet setting to Paris and Athens, my alter-ego Lisa Jey Davis is stuck at home in Southern California, but she is under the gun to actually FINISH the book she’s been laboring over.

In light of this, all my split personalities and I have asked a few select, and talented bloggers/writers we know to step in and write some guest posts.

First up: A lovely, talented dating and relationship blogger we love, According to Jewels. Sit back and ENJOY people!

xoxo Ms. Cheevious

——————

Anyone who follows me on Twitter (@According2Jewls) has no doubt seen my weekend tweets about my half-naked dance parties.

This is not mere titillation meant to gain more followers, though if it happens, I’m fine with that.

I actually enjoy a half-naked solo dance party on a regular basis. Think I’m crazy? I beg to differ. It is a ton of fun.

It is exactly what it sounds like. I strip down to my bra and panties (sexy, lacy ones of course) and pump up the music. This is typically accompanied by a glass of wine or two and a lot of laughing. My “Dance Party” playlist goes on shuffle and then it’s fun-and-games time. Those people who dance in their car while singing at the top of their lungs… yeah, I’m one of them. They (like me) don’t mind if someone sees them being silly. They know you can see them. They just don’t care.

Well, my dance party is a more private version of this.

There are times when this is my main event of the night: There’s no going out, and no real reason for said party, other than wanting to let lose. Those nights I may even slip into some sexy sleepwear and write between dance breaks. I’m typically writing posts for my adult blog during this time, and that side of Jewels loves her sexy time. What better way to get in the mood for writing about “adult topics” than to turn on some sultry tunes and slink my way around the room working my hips like a want to be Shakira? You write sexy when you feel sexy and I love doing both of those things.

Then there are times where my Half-Naked Dance Party (HNDP) is just the warm up for a night out. That is when I get a little crazy and do my ‘pump-up-the-volume’ or ‘pre-game’ rally to get ready for the night. Imagine me, glass of wine in hand, music turned up, throwing items around my closet, and searching through a mountain of shoes for the missing mate to my favorite pair of ‘goes with everything, super comfy’ heals. I will be singing along to “It Takes Two” by the infamous Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock while I apply eye shadow, liner, and mascara… finishing off with a shiny nude gloss. I promise that at some point the urge to truly dance (again) will overcome me and I’ll do that annoying “OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG,” drop my mascara wand and dance madly in my room alone. Yes, totally alone (I’m known to both talk to myself and dance totally alone).

The nights when my HNDP is that warm-up before going out, I always arrive at my destination feeling sexier and on top of the world. I just carry myself differently. I am fun, flirty, and a more fabulous version of myself.

On the nights when I simply stay in and write after a HNDP, you can believe I produce some seriously steamy, sexually driven, confident, powerful pieces those nights.

The important part is that I’m singing, dancing, smiling and happy the whole time. I’m enjoying myself and more importantly I’m enjoying being in my body. As somebody who hasn’t always been comfortable in my own skin, this is huge for me. When you haven’t always loved your body it’s amazing to embrace it, flaws and all, and feel sexy doing so. Half-Naked Dance Parties started out as a practice in learning to love my body, but now, well now they are just a crap ton of fun! 😉

——————

About our Guest: According to Jewels
According to Jewels is a writer/blogger who tackles topics ranging from relationships, sex, and dating, to being brutally honest in life and raising the bar on people’s behavior. Drawing from her own life experience and profiting from the dating/relationship drama of friends, she calls women/men out on their ridiculous behavior, sheds light on love/sex misconceptions, and entertains in the process. Read her two blogs at AccordingToJewels.com and Naughty-Nothings.net (an adult blog). She can be reached at AccordingtoJewels@yahoo.com.

——————

Get on down here to post your questions and comments people! Let’s show Ms. Jewels your Ms. Cheevious support!

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

Twitter FB Videos Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

I See Ugly People!

May 23, 2012 by MsCheevious

So, I was reading an article entitled “Breaking News: Well-Known Women are Actual People Underneath Their Makeup” on one of my favorite blog sites, all about how famous women have suddenly started to brave the cameras, paparazzi and even the spreads of national magazines null and void of any and all concealer, powder, mascara, hairspray — anything… It was an article talking about a recent People Magazine (or some other such rag) article, and how there was a huge amount of harsh backlash and mean comments about the article and the women (most notable here: Hillary Clinton and Zooey Deschanel). So I was interested to explore this subject, and dug in. While reading the article and observing a few of the most talked about photos, it occurred to me: I don’t like looking at these people that way.

Make it stop.

PLEASE.

I give up. I don’t want to “explore” this subject any more than to tell you why this should never happen again.

Here is my list as to why I think it’s preposterous to make this into a “THING”:

1. Women look *REALLY* good when they haute-up. Just sayin’. I’m one to talk, as a person who barely sports face powder on a regular basis. But I still maintain that a little somethin’ somethin’ is all it takes sometimes to hide major blemishes from the world. ESPECIALLY when I’m posing for photos, going out to greet my adoring fans (HA), or appearing in front of an audience.

2. It’s almost as if these women waited until they were a) on their period and had menstrual induced breakouts, b) having the worst hair day of record, or c) were pre-pubecently OOgly with acne and all that entails. Hell, we’d ALL be ugly on those days. Which leads me to number 3.

3. I don’t want to see that. My boyfriend doesn’t NEED to see that. You don’t want to see that. Also… my own FRIENDS and FAMILY don’t want to see me looking my worst. Even I don’t try that at home people. And admit it. We kinda LIKE our idea of these women as they are when they’re made up.

4. Why let all the snappy technology of today go to waste? Hello? It’s there people, for the taking. Makeups, creams, hair tonics, oh the glorious hair tonics. They’re everywhere and almost FREE in some forms and locations. Get them while you can and use them while there is still time. PLEASE.

5. I know there will be those naysayers out there who are proponents of this new “THING.” “I think they look lovely and show courage coming out without a stitch of makeup. No one does that in Hollywood or in political office… blah freaking blah…” You can say that all you want, but I DARE any of these women to show up on camera for their SHOW or to a GALA without a stitch. That’s the point. They won’t. Why? Because getting adorned makes them look their best. So, you naysayers… here, you may make your point, but only if you are known to never shave your legs/armpits, shower, wear makeup, perfume or hair products, and at that – you still look FABULOUS and could go like that to the most important occasion of your life. Then, and only then will we bow before the idea of dolling up without products.

Because isn’t that the point? Shouldn’t we view every waking moment as one of the most important, even possibly one of the last moments of our lives? Shouldn’t we see how we look for our close friends and family as extremely important as well? Not that we have to shellack our faces and hair every day, but geez, put a little effort in. Show those in your lives you care. Would ya?

Enough said.

Tune in next time for a fabulous and tantalizing tale of two dates… or maybe something entirely different.

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

WATCH the related video: http://youtu.be/ObPV0ejuOXo

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

Twitter FB Videos Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

10 Things Girls Secretly Wish About Guys

May 16, 2012 by MsCheevious

I received some interesting comments in response to my article “10 Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women” here on my site, on Facebook and via personal emails.

It was a fun post to write. I really wanted to explore the subject because I feel as though women tend to believe (and promote) ridiculous notions about themselves. It is tiring and embarrassing being held accountable by men for ideas floating around (which sound good initially, but end up falling flat) like ‘women should “become” successful or fashionable or fit, because that is what a man wants’, or even worse, that certain behaviors are okay because we are – well, female – for goddsakes. Not true. Clinginess or nagging is unattractive no matter what sex organs you possess. Yes, there are certain things we can do to rock our partner’s world. The article definitely addressed some of those things (like supporting their passions, even if it involves watching, listening or sacrificing our date night to sports almost every day of the week). Reminder. It wasn’t a list of MUSTS – just what guys secretly wish. Likewise, this is not a MUST-DO list for guys. Guys can take it or leave it with no judgment whatsoever. They may never get lucky again, but hey – it’s their prerogative.

In all fairness, however, women deserve equal time. I covered things for the guys, so by-god my girls and I get our day in Ms. Cheevious-land too. Plus, some of you wrote and asked me to do it.

One of the things that crossed my mind when I decided to write about this was “are you friggin’ KIDDING? Women? The list could be endless!”

I admit I think we are a little whacky and our wishes about guys are all over the map. With men, whittling it down to ten things seemed pretty easy – and I probably covered it pretty thoroughly. They’re pretty simple human beings. Food, sex, laughs, eye candy and activities they enjoy (reading, athletic, channel surfing – choose the poison) are probably about it for them. Not so for women. A quick Google search of the things women wish about guys delivered 579 million results. That’s the actual number people. One such result was a Facebook page dedicated to the 257 Things a Girl Wished a Guy Knew. Wow. I wouldn’t want to be a guy.

If you haven’t noticed yet, WE’RE VERY DIFFERENT.

There are some really important differences between men and women (aside from the obvious) that make it truly impossible for me to list ALL the things women wish about men in this article.

EMOTIONS. We women are complex creatures who are not only willing to allow emotions a place of prominence in our decision making processes, we are hardwired to do so (hormones, cycles, etc). Most men (not all, of course) are simple individuals (see above). They know what they want and need, and they try to make that happen. Simple.

BRAINS. Women think differently than men. We access our left and right brains simultaneously. Men use one side at a time. This benefits us often (we’re amazing multi-taskers), but it can backfire as well. If, for instance, we are compelled by logic (left brain) NOT to text or call the guy — AGAIN — often (at the very same time) the right brain in all its creativity and imagination (fueled by those ooey-gooey, yummy emotions) offers up just as compelling an argument to do so, i.e. ‘but I really like him.. and…[imagining] wouldn’t we make such a cute couple? If I show him how cute I am, he’s bound to see how cute we would be together. I’ll text him this cute picture right now…”

BODIES. Our bodies are different, and have different needs. We possess extremely complex, multi-layered va-jay-jays (and our not-so-complex, but equally tantalizing ta-tas). Men have some pretty basic elements to their physiques – a penis and its – ehem – cohorts. Once you’ve explored every nook and cranny, there AIN’T much else to discover. But no one knows or holds the keys to the kingdom when it comes to every undiscovered secret of the great female organ. Not even the woman possessing it. So then, why would anyone expect that from any man (who simply wants food, sex, laughs and enjoyable activities)?

I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Still, in the name of equality, and in an effort to be just as thorough for my girls, I’m diving in. LORD help me.

1. TREAT ME SPECIAL NO MATTER WHO IS AROUND (DON’T TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY WHEN YOU”RE AROUND YOUR FRIENDS). That’s just weak. Be good to me. Period. Not too difficult. Don’t disrespect me. If you need guy time, I get it. Just don’t treat me like one of your locker room buddies when they are around (insults, jabs and wise-cracks about bodily functions included) and expect me to crawl all over you later that evening.

2. DON’T BE A JEALOUS OR POSSESSIVE NANCY. That’s even weaker. Be confident in yourself and in our relationship, no matter how gorgeous you think I am (and thank you, by the way, but it’s not a threat to you), or how scandalous and untrustworthy other guys may be.

3. DON’T BE A SLOBBOVIAN WHEN YOU GROOM YOURSELF. You did NOT just clip your nose hairs and leave it in the sink, did you? Puh-leeez. I am not your maid, or your mom. I love seeing you when you’re well groomed (translation: when you look and smell clean and are the HOT guy I am attracted to). I don’t want to know (or see or smell) how it happened, especially when it’s etched into the grout.

4. IF YOU ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WE WILL LOVE YOU MORE. You might even get a little extra somethin’ somethin’. This one requires no further explanation. Just ask, for goddsakes.

5. SUPPORT MY PASSIONS. Just as I watch and try to enjoy – or fake it – your sports, your dune buggies, motorcycles, model airplanes, etc… at least on occasion, I want you to do the same for my shows, my occasional trip to the mall, antiquing…. even daisy picking. Yep…once more… with feeling. The “Real Housewives,” “The Bachelor,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Revenge,” are all now part of the deal. And those daisies won’t pick themselves. But seriously men, if we agree to extend each other a hall pass for such activities, well, at least smile and act excited for us as we head out the door to our next chick flick. When we see you next, maybe even ask about it, and try to act interested. Don’t let your eyes glaze over. Hopefully in return we’ll do the same while you’re on your way to hang out with the guys at the Sports Bar all day on a Sunday, or when you launch into a ten minute diatribe on the NFL draft and the doom of the first-round draft pick’s career.

6. CELEBRATE MY SUCCESSES WITH ME. Don’t be threatened, even if you are out of work. My good fortune is your good fortune. We’re a team. If that means you are on Windex or Pledge duty, well, I’ll cheer you on too. I’ll be that support you need, but don’t ruin things by handling my good fortune badly.

7. CUDDLE AND TOUCH ME MORE. I’m not saying it has to be all the time. But geez, how about once in a while? Maybe after a hard day, while we watch TV, anytime the time is right… caress my cheek… stroke my hair… squeeze my arm gently… hug me… put your hand on my leg when we sit next to each other… Once in a while will do. Just do it.

8. MS. VA-JAY-JAY LIKES “SPECIAL” ATTENTION AS MUCH OR MORE THAN MR. WINKY. Because I am built so that you can please me in a multiplicity of ways, I don’t complain when I don’t get that specific attention. Just don’t make it rare or never. NOT ACCEPTABLE. Not only that, sometimes we actually want, or NEED to have that full-throttle orgasm that just won’t happen by the traditional means. You may have to get creative yourself Mister.

9. SURPRISE ME. Let me know you are thinking of me when I’m not around. Buy me some flowers or do something as a token of your affection… at work or at home… in a restaurant — For no apparent reason.

10. BE MY MAN. And all that entails. Chivalry is not dead, and contrary to popular belief – I still like it. I am strong, intelligent, independent and an incredible success story in my own right. I’m not looking for a knight in shining armor, necessarily, but if you want to walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and open the door for me, I won’t mind. I would also greatly appreciate and probably become your love slave, should you find occasion to defend my honor, and do so. I’m just sayin’. I don’t need a man to rescue me, but I do appreciate him showing that he can, that he cares and that he is willing, should he see the opportunity.

So there you have it. I did say there was no way on EARTH to cover everything, didn’t I?

Check in next time for something frivolous and delicious. I’ll be over here conjuring it up…

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

WATCH the related video: http://youtu.be/V_eCt04xKak

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

Twitter FB Videos Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

Just Call Me The Relationship Whisperer

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

Dirty Little Secrets

Dirty Little Secrets

Half-Naked Dance Party

I See Ugly People!

The Funny (that’s the blog people)

Get a Free Book

Single Life

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

AND NOW FOR TONS OF LINKS

BOOKS

GIFTS!

Dirty Little Secrets

Footer

The Funny (that’s the blog people)

Get a Free Book