Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

NFL

Show me what you can do

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SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO

 

#DailyMischief

 

I sometimes I think in September and October the blog gets bogged down with TOO MUCH of my fundraising. On one hand I must spread the word, and on the other hand, I am sure you get pissed off at the incessant prodding about my causes and will more than likely leave me. I know. Serious abandonment issues. Plus, I’m a little neurotic when it comes to you, my readers. You’ve been here for me through pretty much everything (pssst…. don’t leave me).

And I promise guys, I do try  to keep things here on the blog light and separate from my fundraising efforts whenever possible, but my life is consumed  these two months. So what else am I going to talk about? They happen to also be my two busiest months next to the holidays because – as you probably figured out – they are back-to-back cancer awareness months (Ovarian and Breast cancer, respectively).

So indulge me a little, and I promise to sprinkle the FUN in here and there too. Deal? The fundraising will be over after October!

Now here is what’s going on, as well as a WHAT WENT DOWN DURING LAST MONTH’S FUNDRAISER:

OVARIAN CANCER MONTH

In September (the teal month) I created a beautiful, affordable single charm bracelet, pictured here:

MsCheevious Charm Bracelet

as well as a few other products (pins and magnets) that said “Do something to stop ovarian cancer.” I took my own icon for Ms. Cheevious

mscheevious_painting

and adapted it into a teal image. All of the proceeds for that campaign went to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.  We raised one dollar per item (that was my profit, believe it or not. I know. I need to find a better supplier because the money these companies are making off my hard work is downright ridiculous), and raised a total of $53.00.

Don’t spread the hate. I know it’s nothing huge to write home about, but I’m doing SOMETHING, which is more than I can say for the masses. I am quite happy with the results, considering I merely emailed it to you all and shared it on facebook and twitter. But guess what? You can still buy any of these SUPER AFFORDABLE items (you guys, we’re talking about buying yourself one less Cafe Latte in most cases), and we’ll save up the profits for next September as well. Here is the artwork that appears on the charm as well as the other items.

OVARIAN CANCER greatness and terrific items:

http://www.cafepress.com/mscheevious/10384373

OCAM_Charm_Bracelet_Art_2

Above: Ovarian Cancer Awareness item artwork

AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS 

And for October, I’ve started selling two very cool items. I just ordered mine so unfortunately I’m unable to provide in-the-flesh modeling photos. You poor things.

And all of the proceeds for these benefit FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered), the organization that supports those afflicted by hereditary breast & ovarian cancer. The links for each are below.

THE MS. CHEEVIOUS BREAST CANCER LUGGAGE TAG

It’s $10.95 plus shipping & handling. I have this same tag, but it’s got my icon from above (in the regular “red”) as the artwork, and I absolutely LOVE IT. It’s SUPER sturdy, well-made and stands out at the luggage carousel!

Get one for everyone in your life who travels and make a statement about Breast Cancer (the more you buy, the more worthwhile the shipping cost!).

 

And guys, if the NFL can sport pink, by GOD so can you.

BCA_LuggageTag

 

The luggage tags can be purchased (it’s in stock and will ship in 3-5 days) here: http://www.zazzle.com/ms_cheevious_breast_cancer_awareness_tag_luggage_tag-256702722007252191

 

THE MS. CHEEVIOUS BREAST CANCER NECK SCARF

I’ve ordered mine in the dark gray (far right), but it’s available in nine different colors. It’s slightly sheer, but super long and pretty, and the writing and pink ribbon on it is small enough to be elegant, but large enough to make a statement. I’ve also made this item customizable, so you can add “In memory of______” to the scarf if you would like. It’s a fantastic item for fall and says it all – SAVE.THE.BOOBIES people.

BCA_NeckScarf_Colors

This item is $22.95 plus shipping and handling. I’ll post a photo of me in mine just as SOON as it arrives. Get the scarves here: http://www.zazzle.com/ms_cheevious_hereditary_breastcancer_scarf-256814118370194079

 

That’s it people. I’m spent. I’ve pushed, I’ve prodded. It is now your turn to do some good. Show me what you can do.

 

For those times when losing doesn’t suck

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I’ve learned that the most brilliant ideas and life’s funniest moments happen when you least expect it.

Also, I do not need alcohol to wax brilliant… or funny.

Imagine that.

That said, it’s officially NFL Season; the time of year when M.C. Nugget pays good money to join an NFL football pool. I’m not at all against this. In fact, I’m totally FOR winning. It’s the losing part that bites.

So, when Nuggie and I went out to our neighborhood bar for some football action, we had every intention to enjoy the slaughter of the Denver Broncos by the Baltimore Ravens (the reigning Superbowl champions), even though the game was played in Denver. Our intentions were due to the fact that Nuggie did not “pick” the Broncos who were favored by seven points. It would have been OKAY if the Ravens lost… they just couldn’t allow the Broncos to win by more than seven.

BUT WAIT!

 

Mystery Science Theatre

 

There is a point to this that has nothing to do with football.  If you aren’t a football fan, it’s okay. I’ll break it down for you. The Ravens lost. Like the WORST loss any team can almost EVER, in a gajillion years, lose by. This didn’t bode well for our NFL watching experience. It certainly didn’t stroke our spiritual egos either, since we sent every kind of positive intention and telepathic mojo out to the Ravens to stop dropping the ball, to crush the Broncos who had the ball, and to actually SCORE points.

As a result Nuggie, our friend Bogey and I were given to sheer utter silliness. We joked, made faces, even reenacted the especially funny parts more than once. This aided in turning the evening into an overall pleasant experience… a miracle, people, trust me.

But then I had the brilliant idea: Remember Mystery Science Theatre 3000? We’ll do that for football and call it The REAL NFL BS. All we need is a camera crew so people can see and hear everything first hand and experience the brilliance. Funny how a camera crew always seems to be required when we’re at a bar. Huh… At least we can’t blame the alcohol this time.

But you see? Losing doesn’t always suck.

 

 

10 Things Girls Secretly Wish About Guys

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I received some interesting comments in response to my article “10 Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women” here on my site, on Facebook and via personal emails.

It was a fun post to write. I really wanted to explore the subject because I feel as though women tend to believe (and promote) ridiculous notions about themselves. It is tiring and embarrassing being held accountable by men for ideas floating around (which sound good initially, but end up falling flat) like ‘women should “become” successful or fashionable or fit, because that is what a man wants’, or even worse, that certain behaviors are okay because we are – well, female – for goddsakes. Not true. Clinginess or nagging is unattractive no matter what sex organs you possess. Yes, there are certain things we can do to rock our partner’s world. The article definitely addressed some of those things (like supporting their passions, even if it involves watching, listening or sacrificing our date night to sports almost every day of the week). Reminder. It wasn’t a list of MUSTS – just what guys secretly wish. Likewise, this is not a MUST-DO list for guys. Guys can take it or leave it with no judgment whatsoever. They may never get lucky again, but hey – it’s their prerogative.

In all fairness, however, women deserve equal time.  I covered things for the guys, so by-god my girls and I get our day in Ms. Cheevious-land too.  Plus, some of you wrote and asked me to do it.

One of the things that crossed my mind when I decided to write about this was “are you friggin’ KIDDING? Women? The list could be endless!”

I admit I think we are a little whacky and our wishes about guys are all over the map.  With men, whittling it down to ten things seemed pretty easy – and I probably covered it pretty thoroughly. They’re pretty simple human beings.  Food, sex, laughs, eye candy and activities they enjoy (reading, athletic, channel surfing – choose the poison) are probably about it for them. Not so for women.  A quick Google search of the things women wish about guys delivered 579 million results.  That’s the actual number people.  One such result was a Facebook page dedicated to the 257 Things a Girl Wished a Guy Knew.  Wow. I wouldn’t want to be a guy.

If you haven’t noticed yet, WE’RE VERY DIFFERENT.

Female_Male_SymbolsThere are some really important differences between men and women (aside from the obvious) that make it truly impossible for me to list ALL the things women wish about men in this article.

EMOTIONS. We women are complex creatures who are not only willing to allow emotions a place of prominence in our decision making processes, we are  hardwired to do so (hormones, cycles, etc). Most men (not all, of course) are simple individuals (see above).  They know what they want and need, and they try to make that happen.  Simple.

BRAINS. Women think differently than men. We access our left and right brains simultaneously. Men use one side at a time. This benefits us often (we’re amazing multi-taskers), but it can backfire as well.  If, for instance, we are compelled by logic (left brain) NOT to text or call the guy — AGAIN — often (at the very same time) the right brain in all its creativity and imagination (fueled by those ooey-gooey, yummy emotions) offers up just as compelling an argument to do so, i.e. ‘but I really like him.. and…[imagining] wouldn’t we make such a cute couple? If I show him how cute I am, he’s bound to see how cute we would be together. I’ll text him this cute picture right now…”

BODIES. Our bodies are different, and have different needs. We possess extremely complex, multi-layered va-jay-jays (and our not-so-complex, but equally tantalizing ta-tas). Men have some pretty basic elements to their physiques – a penis and its – ehem – cohorts.  Once you’ve explored every nook and cranny, there AIN’T much else to discover.  But no one knows or holds the keys to the kingdom when it comes to every undiscovered secret of the great female organ. Not even the woman possessing it. So then, why would anyone expect that from any man (who simply wants food, sex, laughs and enjoyable activities)?

I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Still, in the name of equality, and in an effort to be just as thorough for my girls, I’m diving in.  LORD help me.

1. TREAT ME SPECIAL NO MATTER WHO IS AROUND (DON’T TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY WHEN YOU”RE AROUND YOUR FRIENDS). That’s just weak.  Be good to me.  Period. Not too difficult. Don’t disrespect me. If you need guy time, I get it. Just don’t treat me like one of your locker room buddies when they are around (insults, jabs and wise-cracks about bodily functions included) and expect me to crawl all over you later that evening.

2. DON’T BE A JEALOUS  OR POSSESSIVE NANCY. That’s even weaker.  Be confident in yourself and in our relationship, no matter how gorgeous you think I am (and thank you, by the way, but it’s not a threat to you), or how scandalous and untrustworthy other guys may be.

3. DON’T BE A SLOBBOVIAN WHEN YOU GROOM YOURSELF. You did NOT just clip your nose hairs and leave it in the sink, did you?  Puh-leeez.  I am not your maid, or your mom.  I love seeing you when you’re well groomed (translation: when you look and smell clean and are the HOT guy I am attracted to).  I don’t want to know (or see or smell) how it happened, especially when it’s etched into the grout.

4. IF YOU ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WE WILL LOVE YOU MORE. You might even get a little extra somethin’ somethin’. This one requires no further explanation. Just ask, for goddsakes.

5. SUPPORT MY PASSIONS. Just as I watch and try to enjoy – or fake it  –  your sports, your dune buggies, motorcycles, model airplanes, etc… at least on occasion, I want you to do the same for my shows, my occasional trip to the mall, antiquing…. even daisy picking.    Yep…once more… with feeling.  The “Real Housewives,” “The Bachelor,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Revenge,” are all now part of the deal. And those daisies won’t pick themselves. But seriously men, if we agree to extend each other a hall pass for such activities, well, at least smile and act excited for us as we head out the door to our next chick flick.  When we see you next, maybe even ask about it, and try to act interested.  Don’t let your eyes glaze over.  Hopefully in return we’ll do the same while you’re on your way to hang out with the guys at the Sports Bar all day on a Sunday, or when you launch into a ten minute diatribe on the NFL draft and the doom of the first-round draft pick’s career.

Shopping is done

6. CELEBRATE MY SUCCESSES WITH ME. Don’t be threatened, even if you are out of work. My good fortune is your good fortune.  We’re a team.  If that means you are on Windex or Pledge duty, well, I’ll cheer you on too.  I’ll be that support you need, but don’t ruin things by handling my good fortune badly.

 

7. CUDDLE AND TOUCH ME MORE. I’m not saying it has to be all the time.  But geez, how about once in a while?  Maybe after a hard day, while we watch TV, anytime the time is right… caress my cheek… stroke my hair… squeeze my arm gently… hug me…  put your hand on my leg when we sit next to each other…  Once in a while will do.  Just do it.

 

8. MS. VA-JAY-JAY LIKES “SPECIAL” ATTENTION AS MUCH OR MORE THAN MR. WINKY. Because I am built so that you can please me in a multiplicity of ways, I don’t complain when I don’t get that specific attention.  Just don’t make it rare or never.  NOT ACCEPTABLE. Not only that, sometimes we actually want, or NEED to have that full-throttle orgasm that just won’t happen by the traditional means.  You may have to get creative yourself Mister.

9. SURPRISE ME. Let me know you are thinking of me when I’m not around. Buy me some flowers or do something as a token of your affection… at work or at home… in a restaurant — For no apparent reason.

Whistle While You Mop

10. BE MY MAN. And all that entails.  Chivalry is not dead, and contrary to popular belief – I still like it. I am strong, intelligent, independent and an incredible success story in my own right. I’m not looking for a knight in shining armor, necessarily, but if you want to walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and open the door for me, I won’t mind.  I would also greatly appreciate and probably become your love slave, should you find occasion to defend my honor, and do so.  I’m just sayin’.  I don’t need a man to rescue me, but I do appreciate him showing that he can, that he cares  and that he is willing, should he see the opportunity.

So there you have it. I did say there was no way on EARTH to cover everything, didn’t I?

Check in next time for something frivolous and delicious.  I’ll be over here conjuring it up…

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

WATCH the related video: http://youtu.be/V_eCt04xKak

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious