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Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Friendship

Permission to Scream

May 10, 2013 by MsCheevious

I’m on a bit of a rampage. Wait. Stop. Let me rewind a bit. I’ll set the scene for you:

A fabulous new freelancer (who is super cheap and comes highly recommended) is working to upload my Yoga routine book to other platforms besides iBooks and Amazon… (no small task, mind you… dealing with and educating the freelancer, that is).

Simultaneously, I’ve got a couple of PR clients whom I pitch and arrange interviews for, as well as submit them for and take them to red carpet events. Why isn’t this listed first, since it pays the bills, you ask? Meh… I can do this one with my eyes closed. I love it, but it doesn’t cause a rampage unless someone does a client wrong. The reason I’m even talking about it is because I’m taking a big risk here by not pursuing more clients, even though one of my few has just gone on hiatus.  I made this decision because dammit all, I WILL finish my books, come HELL or high water… even if it means a) I give up my apartment and spend a chunk of my last remaining savings to b) put everything in storage, c) risk MC Nugget getting kicked out of his apartment for harboring a stow-away, and d) continue to use my beloved VW Jetta as the great Costco storage vehicle… I’m okay with being a starving artist, if it means I’ll finish my passion-projects. But shit. It does tend to send the stress barometer into hyperdrive.

But the icing on the cake came with a little tiny request I sent out weeks ago to some of my noteworthy friends (or if they aren’t noteworthy, they are beloved) for advanced reviews of my newest book (almost finished, but waiting on those reviews) “Getting Over Your Ovaries – How to Make “The Change of Life Your Bitch” —

Getting over your ovaries by Lisa Jey Davis ebooksm

While some of them did reviews (one of which is posted here) and amazed me with their sentiments (and for taking the time) – the others… well, you’d think I was asking them to slay their first born. The book is all of two chapters. Let’s just say, this is the thing that will drive me to drink this weekend.

I’d now like your permission to scream.

But before I do, and before I go, please know – this is not at all about you. It it most definitely about ME.

That is all.

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Oh wait. I didn’t forget Mother’s Day. How could I? Wait for it and I’ll deliver. Yep – you’ll hear from me twice in a week… it may not be a blog post, but I’ll be in touch! Oh my!

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

aka Lisa Jey Davis

Editor in [Mis]Chief

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BOOKS

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Get your copy of my yoga routine “Ahhhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for a buck-ninety-nine!

Getting over your ovaries by Lisa Jey Davis ebooksm

And coming soon ‘Getting Over Your Ovaries. How to Make ‘The Change of Life’ Your Bitch’! ***EXCITED***

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ASK MS. CHEEVIOUS

Have a question that is burning a hole in your brain about Ms. Cheevious…anything she does, her work, the book…life in general… or you want advice about a very important matter – go to our contact page & ASK AWAY.

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All Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

 

Filed Under: Friends, Friendship, Reviews - General, Stress Tagged With: Amazon, costco, fabulous reviews, ibooks, icing on the cake, Lisa Jey Davis, menopause, Ms. Cheevious, Ovaries, rampage, Red Carpet, starving artist, The Change of Life, Yoga

My Evening With Moon Unit Zappa

September 25, 2012 by MsCheevious

Moon Unit Zappa was most famous for being the daughter of musician Frank Zappa, and became known in the 1980’s for a song she sang (or rapped?) called “Valley Girl,” from which her infamous “Oh my GAWD… Gag me with a spoon” lyric came.

Way back when I was finishing law school at Pepperdine, I was living in the basement of an adjunct professor of Law from the school who rented to students like myself. The family had a son who was about seventeen or eighteen and seemed to be a really nice kid. I didn’t know him too well, and didn’t really spend much time with the kid, because I was busy doing my own thing.

One night the kid came up to me and said, “Hey! Come with me to this party up in the hills on Friday! It’s suppose to be really cool!” I was a little hesitant, because even though he was a nice kid and all – well, you know – he was just a kid, and I was twenty-three.. an ancient, wise sage, compared to him. We didn’t really “hang out.”

He must have noticed my uncertainty because he said, “We’re going with a friend of mine Moon Zappa… Frank Zappa’s daughter, and we’ll need to pick her up. Come on!”

The second he said “Zappa,” I was in. I had listened to, tried to figure out and cracked up over songs of Frank Zappa’s like “Stink Foot,” “Excentrifugal” and “Dinah-Moe Hum,” and knew it could be a night to remember.

On Friday, the kid, another friend of his and I drove up to Mulholland or someplace up in the hills to the home of Frank Zappa.  We went up to the door and were invited in by a somewhat nice looking lady. We were sitting on the couch and Moon came out to greet us. She must have been all of fifteen. Her younger brother Dweezil was just a little kid and doing his best to annoy us (and succeeding). The same woman who answered the door asked if she could get us anything to drink, while we were all talking, and then left to get drinks.

“Is that your mom?” I asked Moon.

“Oh no. That’s our witch!” she said, matter-of-factly.

“Your witch!” I choke-laughed.

“Oh, she’s a white witch, and she’s totally cool, but yeah… she’s not our mom!” she said cheerily.

(Photo credit: http://www.frankpicturesgallery.com/artists/lynngoldsmith/index.html)

The Zappa’s having an in-house Witch in their employ was weird-ass scary, but I still couldn’t refrain from my next questions…

“Is your dad here? Can we meet him?”

“Oh no… He’s here, but he’s in the studio recording. We can’t really disturb him.” she said.

At that, we said goodbye to the good witch and hit the road to a party in the hills. Though I was probably one of the older people there, I had a great time. We stayed really late, and had a blast sending Moon around the party guessing people’s astrological signs at our bidding.  She’d sworn she could do it and she did prove it to us — at the party, that is… among all her peers.  We were jabbing her about it, insisting she couldn’t really do it if she didn’t know someone. So, later that evening, we went to Mel’s Diner on Sunset for a bite to eat and I finally said, “Look, you aren’t going to convince us unless you pick someone who’s a complete stranger and guess them correctly.”

So, as we walked out of the parking lot, Moon approached an older couple. She very astutely explained the situation to the folks who were put off a bit, at first (I was pleasantly surprised at how astute she was for the fifteen year old that she was), but softened and laughed with her as they answered a few basic questions (like, “What do you do for a living?” etc). And then she did it. She hit the nail on the head with both of them — they were Capricorn and Pisces, if my memory serves.

We were convinced. We piled into the car and drove Ms. Moon Unit Zappa back to her home, which was overseen by the Good Witch of the hills.

And THAT, my friends, concludes the story of My Evening with Moon Unit Zappa.

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No, my lovely boys and girls… I didn’t go to law school, personally, and I did not, in fact meet or party with Ms. Zappa. But you must admit…. I have some pretty awesome friends with some incredibly great stories, don’t I?

Tune in next time for another one.

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis]Chief

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Other articles you may enjoy from Ms. Cheevious:

Release the Chihuahuas!

Where Ms. Cheevious fantasizes of owning 100 chihuahuas, so she can say “RELEASE the Chihuahuas!” in her best Dr. Evil voice. This one’s a MUST READ.

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Nada Mama


Where Ms. Cheevious talks about absolutely nothing.  For real… oh and being a super-hero Nada Mama…

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Friends, Friendship, Hollywood Events, Living Life, Sheer Utter Silliness, Uncategorized Tagged With: #Zappa, Dweezil Zappa, Frank Zappa, Hollywood, Mel's Diner, Moon Unit Zappa, Moon Zappa, Mulholland Drive, My Evening With Moon Unit Zappa, White Witch

4 Random Things I Didn’t Know

August 13, 2012 by MsCheevious

This post was inspired while perusing a blog by Penelope Trunk, which I happened to find through the 2011 Forbes top websites for women list. In a quick perusal of her blog, I stumbled upon a post titled “7 Things You Don’t Know About Women and Work.” It was rather interesting.  Enough so that I pinned it to Lisa Jey Davis‘ “Blogs I Like” board.

I’m not going to tell you what that article says here, however. If you want to know what it says, you’ll have to go there and read it for yourself. After you read mine.

Most articles inspire me in some way.  I see every article as an open discussion. That’s why often you’ll find comments from me (and my alter ego, for that matter) on various internet articles.  I feel as though it’s one, big, giant conversation. Hopefully one day, you will see this site as a place to have an interesting conversation as well. That is my dream for you, my minions.

Now onto topic:  Here are 4 Random Things I Didn’t Know.

1.  There is no money in writing about women. I did not know that.  I never really thought about it.  Hell, no one ever said I was going to get rich being a writer, so I’m not surprised there are categories which pay more.  Penelope Trunk wrote about how one of the first pieces of advice she was given when she started getting paid to write, was to not write about women (oops). She was apparently fired twice for ignoring that advice. Then again, she is a finance and business writer. (The website she is known for is, after all, named Brazen Careerist).

Whew. I’m safe, since I am not a business or finance writer. I am also not worried about the money. Not yet.

Plus, I don’t write ABOUT women. I write women. I paint women with my words, the way I believe they look (or should look… act… believe) in all their beauty (look at me, waxing poetic!). My goal is to show women how to “just be” and how to be happy in that. As I write, I weave each woman into a beautiful painting that both men and women enjoy. Right?

RIGHT?

2. Being a publicist is a thankless job – OR –  Hiring a publicist is a necessary evil. This one is totally random because most people are not publicists. (Scratch that). And it’s not at all about women, unless, well, you are a female publicist.  I’ve recently come to this conclusion. I didn’t know this before choosing a profession, obviously, which is probably the reason why I now find myself to be… well, a publicist. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. And there is job security.  Most people grow tired of this thankless, cutthroat business.  Not me. I’m an animal, and I can be a cutthroat bitch when I need to be. I was picked on by six brothers growing up, so I’ve got the moxy to come out of the ring fighting.  It’s great for now, and because I am good at it, I am successful.

FACT: No matter how much press you get for clients, it is never enough. And it is just too damn difficult to measure. If I get you on the morning news in one of the largest markets in the US, how much is that worth to you? And how much is it worth, if say, five years from now, people are still seeing that footage on youtube or someplace, and becoming clients or fans, or want to interview you for their show? The same goes for that magazine article that gets read five years laters in the bathrooms of America. It just can’t be measured. Conversely, as businesses grow, or actors/writers/celebrities gain popularity, and clothing or beauty products become all the rage, they all find that hiring a publicist is a necessary evil.  If they don’t have a publicist, there is no one to filter all of the thousands (if they are lucky) of requests, no one to protect them or do damage control if necessary, and no one to keep the machine well-oiled by constantly prodding and pressuring the press to interview or feature them.  It’s a dirty, thankless job, and I am damn good at it. I’m not loving the thankless / necessary evil part, as it tends to rob me of my passion, which leads me to #3.

3. Just because you are good at something does not mean you should do it for a living. I never KNEW that!  I thought that was the point: to do what we are good at! Didn’t we all as kids ask our parents, “How do you know what you should be when you grow up, mommy?” And didn’t all our mommy’s reply, “Find something you are good at and do that”? (Forget the fact that our mom’s answered our ‘what should we “be”‘ with what we should “do.” There’s another article in that). If you are really talented in a skill and equally passionate about it, well then, you should consider doing it for a living.  That is the point.

I am really glad I am finding this out now though. Because, it’s not like it’s too late or anything. Right?

RIGHT?

Right. That’s why, though I’m a publicist, I’m also writing a book, my blogs, articles for other websites, and producing videos around the clock. All because I love painting women, both figuratively, with my words, and actually. I may be damn good at PR and Marketing, but my passion is in the stuff I love: writing and creating. It’s all about affecting the lives of other people in positive ways. That is, until I find something else that I’m more passionate to write / create about.

And on that note, I thought this was really apropos here, because I am my own boss:

4. As we grow older we have to reposition ourselves. This one just recently occurred to me, and it’s a doozy.

I  am a marketing maven, so of course I apply marketing concepts (repositioning) to my personal life. I firmly believe, those who plan and strategize ahead of time (even in their own personal development), will be the most successful and happily adjusted. So I’m on it.  Hell I should be an expert, I’ve had so many identities.

Much of my identity throughout my life was and is tied to how I look.  It’s that way for everyone I believe. Though my type of blond, blue-eyed looks are NOT for everyone, for some reason I was not found to be repulsive to the masses. It sometimes made life easier, and sometimes it did not. Here’s a quick chronological list of a few of my identities and how they related to my looks:

Cute Figure Skater
Pretty Cheer Leader
Talented (and not too bad looking) musician/singer/songwriter (who could look pretty good in a beret)
Straight-A College Student (I was told in college that it was because of my looks they assumed I wanted to work in front of the camera doing newscasting, rather than producing.  This was incorrect.)
Wife and Mother – (The wife part – though I was considered arm candy for much of it – ended as it does for many, but even as my kids grew, I was “too pretty” to be allowed to meet my grown son’s friends).
Rock Climber / Snow Boarder / Adventurer of sorts – this was a fun one, because it was NOT expected that I, in my girlish position and “softer looks,” would ever want to be a hardcore, serious, extreme athlete.  But I did.
Business Woman – Marketing & PR (no good looks here required, but they did not and do not hurt).

Before I go on, and before someone out there chooses to write a blog review post about this, stating how obsessed I was with my “good looks” let me say this:  We all marveled at how non-attractive Susan Boyle is/was when she hit American Idol in England. We were shocked by the beauty of her voice. Why was that okay?  And why is it wrong for me to address looks as they have affected me in my life? I am the first to admit that I have flaws like cellulite and blemishes, just like every single person on the planet. I also believe that beauty is a perception. We only know whether we look good to others by the way they respond to us. So really, I could be BUTT UGLY, but because for the most part, people have responded to me as if that’s not true, I believe them. So I guess beauty really is only skin deep.  And I’m just realizing that my “beauty” is…. changing. It’s changing into something very different from what I’ve ever known.  It’s not obvious, or drastic.  I’m simply aware that it is happening. It will happen.

Here’s a realization for you, if you are at least 40: No matter what you do, how much Botox or surgery you choose to have, or how many times you tell yourself that you still look just as good as when you were 29, you are (we are) getting older. You will never look the same. Though you can laugh with 25 year olds and feel as though you can relate and be best friends or buds with them, it usually does not happen. You can be friendly with them, but you are never “one of the group” in that young 20-something group of friends.  You are the “older” friend, or whatever, and that is… good. It’s great, actually.

But what does that mean for you?  What does it mean for me?

Like I said, I’m ON IT.  I’m in the process of forming my next identity. So, what will the ME of the future, with gray hair and wrinkles look like?  Will I be the long-haired, introspective, poetic writer/novelist, with a thirst for adventure, cognac and cigars? Will I be the graceful, older woman, with a Linda Evans bob (if you don’t know who she is, please look her up from the original “Dynasty,” television series, would you?), who manages her own world in a regal manner, accepting everyone for who they are? Or will I be the silly, wildly zany Lucille Ball type, who makes everyone, including herself laugh until they pee?  Perhaps I’ll find a way to be all three?

All I know is the more prepared you are, the less taken off-guard you’ll be. I’m really okay to grow up and keep transitioning.  I’m excited to find my new cool space, where “I” will reside when I’m “older.”

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I won’t pretend that there are only four things in this world I didn’t know.  My GOD there are at least tens or hundreds, maybe. What are the things you didn’t know?  Or maybe you have thoughts on my unknowns?  Feel free to start a conversation.  I’ll join you.

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Aging, Career, Friends, Friendship, Health & Wellness, Living Life, Motherhood, Uncategorized, Womens Issues, Work and Career

I See Ugly People!

May 23, 2012 by MsCheevious

So, I was reading an article entitled “Breaking News: Well-Known Women are Actual People Underneath Their Makeup” on one of my favorite blog sites, all about how famous women have suddenly started to brave the cameras, paparazzi and even the spreads of national magazines null and void of any and all concealer, powder, mascara, hairspray — anything…  It was an article talking about a recent People Magazine (or some other such rag) article, and how there was a huge amount of harsh backlash and mean comments about the article and the women (most notable here: Hillary Clinton and Zooey Deschanel). So I was interested to explore this subject, and dug in. While reading the article and observing a few of the most talked about photos, it occurred to me: I don’t like looking at these people that way.

Make it stop.

PLEASE.

I give up.  I don’t want to “explore” this subject any more than to tell you why this should never happen again.

Here is my list as to why I think it’s preposterous to make this into a “THING”:

1. Women look *REALLY* good when they haute-up.  Just sayin’.  I’m one to talk, as a person who barely sports face powder on a regular basis.  But I still maintain that a little somethin’ somethin’ is all it takes sometimes to hide major blemishes from the world. ESPECIALLY when I’m posing for photos, going out to greet my adoring fans (HA), or appearing in front of an audience.

2. It’s almost as if these women waited until they were a) on their period and had menstrual induced breakouts, b) having the worst hair day of record, or c) were pre-pubecently OOgly with acne and all that entails.  Hell, we’d ALL be ugly on those days. Which leads me to number 3.

3. I don’t want to see that. My boyfriend doesn’t NEED to see that.  You don’t want to see that.  Also… my own FRIENDS and FAMILY don’t want to see me looking my worst.  Even I don’t try that at home people.  And admit it.  We kinda LIKE our idea of these women as they are when they’re made up.

4. Why let all the snappy technology of today go to waste?  Hello? It’s there people, for the taking.  Makeups, creams, hair tonics, oh the glorious hair tonics. They’re everywhere and almost FREE in some forms and locations. Get them while you can and use them while there is still time.  PLEASE.

5. I know there will be those naysayers out there who are proponents of this new “THING.” “I think they look lovely and show courage coming out without a stitch of makeup. No one does that in Hollywood or in political office… blah freaking blah…” You can say that all you want, but I DARE any of these women to show up on camera for their SHOW or to a GALA without a stitch.  That’s the point.  They won’t.  Why? Because getting adorned makes them look their best.  So, you naysayers… here, you may make your point, but only if you are known to never shave your legs/armpits, shower, wear makeup, perfume or hair products, and at that – you still look FABULOUS and could go like that to the most important occasion of your life.  Then, and only then will we bow before the idea of dolling up without products.

Because isn’t that the point?  Shouldn’t we view every waking moment as one of the most important, even possibly one of the last moments of our lives?  Shouldn’t we see how we look for our close friends and family as extremely important as well? Not that we have to shellack our faces and hair every day, but geez, put a little effort in.  Show those in your lives you care.  Would ya?

Enough said.

Tune in next time for a fabulous and tantalizing tale of two dates… or maybe something entirely different.

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

WATCH the related video: http://youtu.be/ObPV0ejuOXo

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Chicky Fun, Dating, Friends, Friendship, Health & Wellness, Hot Moms, Living Life, Single Life, Uncategorized, Work and Career Tagged With: Hillary Clinton, No Makeup, People Magazine, Zoe Deschanel, Zooey Deschanel

Sh*t Girls Say — If They’re Ms. Cheevious

March 15, 2012 by MsCheevious

I’ll admit. I had to do it. I cannot watch something like “Shit Girls Say,” which is so hysterically funny without thinking, ‘HOLY CRAP that sounds an awful lot like a sweeter version of me!’ I’m sure that’s what was intended.

But I think I’m pretty funny. Is that bad?  I’m pretty harmless in my narcissistic view of my hilariousness. I simply crack myself up. What harm is there in that? I’m sure I turn some heads as I walk past folks in the market or on the street chuckling out loud at something I just said out loud to myself, but who is it hurting? That’s all I wanna’ know.  A little nuttiness never hurt anyone.  As a matter of fact, my man M.C. Nugget and I make a habit of exhibiting nutty and weird behavior on a regular basis.

Before I get rolling on that whole tangent, let me get to the point of this post.  I think you will really laugh (or at the very least, mildly chuckle) at the first clip I have for you – my muse, if you will, when it came to putting together “Shit Girls Say if They’re Ms. Cheevious”… And then you’ll see that very video (and either laugh, cry, or mildly chuckle).

The difference between the two is that the first was professionally produced.  It was also scripted and performed by a dude in a chick’s wig, who is very funny, alongside a star – like – um, JULIETTE LEWIS.  You’ll know her when you see her.

My clip is REAL SHIT. Things I said without being prompted, which were caught on video.

After you’ve enjoyed both of these short clips, I have a little project we can ALL participate in.

I’d like for you to help me write a new video via the COMMENTS section on this post, which WILL be scripted and performed by a few of my best and hottest gal pals (also actresses). It will be called Shit Ms. Cheevious Girls say.  If we get some great phrases here, when it is up on YouTube, I will enable ads on the video, and any proceeds made from those ads we’ll donate to a charity of our choice (we’ll vote on that when the time comes).

Watch, Enjoy, and put your thinking caps on.  I’ll throw out some suggestions after the clips to get the ball rolling in your brains.

SHIT GIRLS SAY, EPISODE 1

If you can’t see the above Youtube window in your browser, please click here

SHIT GIRLS SAY – IF THEY’RE MS. CHEEVIOUS

Again, if you can’t view the above video window in your browser, click here

BEFORE YOU COMMENT:

Now, in terms of coming up with comments.  This video will be scripted, and I’d like to use my “Girls” as some inspiration.  By that I mean the girls in my paintings, which you can see some of them here on my website (left border) or those I will actually use are here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150193003761734.291906.119215056733&type=3.

The “Girls” all have names, and I’d like to give them personalities.  If you’re inclined feel free to specify who would “say” your comment.  I’ll hand pick some gorgeous girlfriends who are also actresses to represent some of the girls and act these out.  Here are some ideas that have been thrown around for Shit Ms. Cheevious Girls Say, and remember:  You MUST think Ms. Cheevious-ly.  And think about all areas of life – health, fitness, medical, career, leisure, entertainment.  Whatever!  And remember:  Ms. Cheevious girls are EMPOWERED, INDEPENDENT, LOVING, FUN girls.  So here are just a couple to get you started!

1.  Does this dress make me look too skinny?

2. Do you remember that thingy that I wanted to BLOG about?

3. O.M.G. Girlfriend!!!!

4. AAAAAAAHHHHHH (screaming & jumping up and down because they find JAMESON’S or Grey Goose Vodka on sale at the grocery store).

5. Dude your boobs look GOOD in that!

If you want to see more specific phrases that we are USING, I’m compiling them on a private note on Facebook, and can share them upon request.  Just ask! Now put your minds into high gear, and let’s all create a really FANTASTIC video, shall we?  You will get credit (you’ll be credited as you are listed here on the blog, if we use your quote) in the video credits, so get rolling.  Put those ultra witty, razor sharp, naughty, nice, sweet, funny thoughts down below!  I can’t wait!

Then, boys and girls, stay tuned next time for something entirely different.

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmmmppppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

———————-

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Blogroll, Chicky Fun, Dating, Friends, Friendship, Girls Gone Wild, Girls Night Out, Hip Chicks, Living Life, Relationships, Sex, Sheer Utter Silliness, Single Women, Uncategorized, Work and Career Tagged With: Juliette Lewis, Ms. Cheevious, Ms. Cheevious Girls, Shit Girls Say

The Ties That Bind

February 16, 2012 by MsCheevious

Family Ties, that is. Yes. I said it.

And my family is important to me. Vitally important.

Some may argue the contrary.

But I have worked long and hard (my entire life, in fact) to grow and improve on who I am as a person. Out of that hard work was born a very strong protective nature for establishing and fiercely protecting healthy boundaries where relationships are concerned.

How does one establish healthy boundaries, and just what are boundaries?  I’m glad you asked.

Here is an illustration that should help.

Picture this:  My head, surrounded by a grassy yard, with a white picket fence as its boundary.

I know it’s just a sketch, but inside the fence is my green, grassy yard, which represents all the things in my life – all of the choices in my life.  I own those.

Outside of the white picket fence are things that everyone else in my world, including my siblings, kids, etc… have going on – their choices.

Sometimes a person’s choices infiltrate my yard, if I let them.  For instance, if someone makes a choice that positively or negatively affects me, a family member, my children or loved ones, I then make the CHOICE to either accept or deny that situation access to my “yard.”

When crotchety Uncle Leo says something horribly mean and hurtful to my nephew Wilfred, I can choose to bring it into my yard, making that situation one of my responsibilities, nurturing it all the way to its conclusion – OR – I can choose to not allow it into my yard, instead loving from a distance and offering unattached advice to my nephew; advice I am willing to let go of, and never worry another moment about.

The latter, you lovely men and women, is the healthiest choice.  And I’m not one of those people who’s afraid to get involved.  Who’s writing this post here?  I ALWAYS love me some juicy stuff to get involved in, that’s for certain.  It’s really because I LOVE allowing people to handle and deal with their “yard” with the tools they have in the moment more than anything. Most times it is pretty miraculous to behold what people can do.

You could ask “well, what if your best friend needs financial help?”   I can only answer it this way:  I have a few choices, but in terms of boundaries and healthy, smart choices, there are only two I consider:  1) I can opt to help that friend, loan them money, and then lord over them to pay it back, taking that loan and their financial situation into my yard as my own.  Or 2) I can work off of a decision I made long ago that I should never loan money, unless I can afford to let it go completely and leave it up to the person and their path to be responsible to pay it back, never worrying another moment.  Then if I lend the money, I let it go – totally. But whatever the choice, we must OWN it.  If I loan money and cannot forget about it, but instead, must have the money back regardless of situation, then I am inviting that situation into my yard, and now I own it.  If I’m okay with that then it’s fine.  Otherwise, it’s still a choice I made, which I must deal with.

Recently, some members of my family tried to throw the shackles on me, my white picket fence, and my yard too.  They asked me (and some other siblings) to OWN their choices, and help them out of an unfortunate situation.  Sorry.  Couldn’t and wouldn’t do it.  I did not have the resources to help, and I would not have helped if I did because it was a repeated situation we had already dealt with. We siblings had lovingly warned them that something like their unfortunate situation would happen down the road, should they not heed our advice. We each offered suggestions as to how the situation could be handled to avoid coming to an unwanted conclusion, but to no avail.

I found myself in that all-too-familiar situation of being “the bad guy” as this unwelcome truth was communicated to these family members.  They were not very happy to hear that we siblings wouldn’t own their situations and rescue them from themselves.

Am I wrong to not take these types of things on as my own?  Are Family Ties meant to be Binding in the true sense of the word?  And aside from boundaries, is it wrong for me to not want to cover anyone’s ass (yes, even the asses of my siblings) when they make unhealthy, underhanded, lazy, or irresponsible choices (or how about just plain friggin’ STUPID choices)?

What say you?  Let’s hear it…

Love you people!!! Mmmmmpphhhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

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You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Family, Friends, Friendship, Health & Wellness, Living Life, Meditation, Uncategorized

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