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My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Diet

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…. OR… Yes, You Probably DO Eat Too Much

January 7, 2013 by Patricia Walters Fischer

NOTE FROM MS. CHEEVIOUS:

I’d like to welcome Ms. Patricia Walters Fischer to the fold, and she’s here to tell you (and me) that Yes, you probably DO eat too much, and maybe it’s time to make some ch-ch-ch-changes. And hell, I’m right there with her, people. I’m back to my local weight loss support group myself this year, reclaiming my lifetime membership all over again. Hey – one can never be too sure the fat isn’t sneaking its way back onto one’s body, now can one? So I’m going to be lean and alcohol free for a while folks. Oh yes.  

Let’s give her a listen, shall we? Even if you are presently starving yourself.

Patricia is  a writing / author-friend of Ms. Cheevious. She’s a dynamo, hot mommy, and we love her. Enjoy. 

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Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…. 

                  OR…

         Yes, You Probably DO Eat Too Much

It’s January. That means everyone has a “goal” they plan to meet or beat this year and according to the powers that be at Entertainment Tonight, 43% of you pledge to make losing weight one of them.

Part of New Year’s appeal is the idea of starting over; of beginning anew and the thought that any and all mistakes of the past year (or decade) are put behind us.

Problem is, if you enter the New Year with the same mindset you exited the last one, will anything really change? Since the fairy godmother didn’t show up and give you those gorgeous (but look really uncomfortable) glass slippers and the prince isn’t coming to sweep you off your feet, or even sweep your floor, what will change? What will be different in your life that will allow you to reach your goals?

Last year I’d reached wits end. At 5’ 3” and weighing in at 230 pounds, I felt miserable, frustrated, and overwhelmed. I’d gotten to the point where I’d become “that mom” who sits a lot and can’t keep up with her children. Plus, I could imagine the looks on my kids’ faces as we were creeping towards their middle school years—mom had become embarrassingly unhealthy.

I didn’t want that for them, for me, for my husband, but how to change it? Or better yet, how did I even get so far into the obesity spectrum in the first place? And if I do manage to get my ever growing ass off the couch, how do I make sure I don’t go backwards?

As a wanna-be best-selling writer, my creative muse had taken a permanent holiday, and I couldn’t write anything that would be rated above crap. Really frustrating since I had some great, almost-finished works on my computer, just waiting for me to complete.

The question was, what should I change or better yet, how?

I knew last year when the clock struck twelve and the fireworks flew into the sky, it wouldn’t suddenly give me all the answers and the right path to make all my dreams come true.

No Blue Fairy or Fairy Godmother or magic lamp would appear… and even if they did, true change is one of the hardest things to do and we’ve all learned from the fairy tales, that change has to come from within. No amount of magic does it for us.

Shit. And I was so hoping for the easy road.

I’d tried all sorts of diets before, but they didn’t work. One reason for that was I’d always chosen extremist plans to get the quickest results. I found out very fast I’ll never be fond of eating tree bark or drinking some horrid concoction that includes fennel.

With three kids, I found myself running in circles and not ever having a good workout routine, especially since I’d be exhausted as soon as I got up in the morning. I had no energy to spare or even to spend, but something had to give.

Get up early? Stay up late? Hire a babysitter?

Was I depressed? I didn’t think so. I’d simply be frustrated with myself because I’d have these days of clarity and motivation and would get a few things done, then fall back into the sluggish pattern again, and think to myself Grrrrrr, this sucks! What can I do to get a grip?

First, I learned I needed my gall bladder out. Tests at the end of the year confirmed that little organ was functioning at about 11% and probably causing a lot of my fatigue, but it wasn’t the magic bullet. Removing it did help my body heal and my mind not be so foggy. Immediately, I could tell a difference and within days, I was able to more effectively wrap my mind around exactly what needed to happen: Change how I saw the world and myself. For the first time in a long time, it seemed doable.

At the encouragement of a friend, I started taking pictures of everything I ate and drank and it opened my eyes to what exactly I was fueling my body with—complete and utter garbage.

2011 RT Convention with Jeremy R., me, and Stefan Pinto
That is me in the middle with the friend who helped me, Stefan (right).

I remember Oprah talking about being mindful of what she ate, but I told myself I knew what I was eating and it wasn’t that bad. I must have something else going on because my diet was fine. After I started taking pictures of everything, and I mean everything, it helped me better understand and Holy Crap! Did I eat a whole lot of carbs, sugar, and fat. I’m amazed I only weighed 230 pounds.

I started taking pictures of everything, and I mean everything

Food Photography 1

With the new outlook on what I ate, it helped me see what I did during my day and how I could be more productive. Even simple things like making a short to-do list before getting errands done, made my time more productive and I got things done. And I stress short here—no making impossibly long to-do lists that included losing ten pounds, cleaning the entire house, knitting sweaters for all kids in the Midwest, and creating World Peace before lunch time.

It seems like a no brainer, but when you can’t think straight or you’re so used to burying yourself in obligations, you can easily get frustrated and even fail.

After three months, not only had I dropped thirty-five pounds, my mind felt clearer, and I’d completed revisions of one of my romantic comedies. By May, I’d sold it. That news came a day before my husband and I found out we’d been matched for two children we were hoping to adopt.

At the writing of this, I’ve dropped another five pounds, but the big deal is I’ve kept it off for six months. No backsies!

To prove it to myself, I cleaned out my closet, a bit of a New Year’s purge to show how far I’d come and to get rid of the fall back, fat clothes.
My health and weight are stable and I’m ready for the next half of my health journey—losing another fifty pounds by this time next year.

Life is still overwhelming at times. Factoring in time to exercise, write my next best seller, and caring for kids, a house, and husband can make the day seem normally chaotic. There are days I don’t get a shower and my legs need to be shaved more often than twice a week, but I’m an ever improving work in progress.

I still don’t make brownies like Martha Stewart, but I don’t obsess about it. I don’t eat my frustrations, but I don’t go run a marathon either. I changed the way the world looks around me. I don’t beat myself up when things aren’t perfect, I accept compliments without arguing about it, and I like myself.

That was the biggest change of all and ultimately for only me, but something interesting happened: I enjoyed my family more and mundane obligations like laundry didn’t seem too overwhelming.
Because my friend helped me, I want to help you.

 

Because my friend helped me,

      I want to help you.

 

I’ve started a 2013 Kick Ass and Get Healthy Board on Pinterest where I’m posting articles, recipes, and ways you can meet health and wellness goals. What I discovered is it’s not only about the food or the exercise, it’s about how you feel about yourself. Do you think you’re worth the challenge?

Don’t be so afraid to change how you see the world or even how you approach it, that you lose out on what you’re worth. It can be frightening, but it can be one of the best things you’ll ever do for yourself.

Good luck in 2013!

 

255550_404808602894599_1858904840_nDuring Patricia W. Fischer’s journey to be a full-time storyteller, she made several stops along the way to be a waitress, bartender, bill-collector, bank teller, clerk at Blockbuster Video, dishwasher, prep-cook, a wannabe crypto-zoologist, and finally settling in as a pediatric and adult trauma/critical care nurse for 10 years. Then she started her career as a writer.

Now, she spends her time in front of a keyboard, coming up with (hopefully) fantastic and entertaining stories to pay for her buying too many books habit and the endless cups of coffee she drinks on a daily basis.

You can find her at her website, on Facebook, Twitter, and Pintrest.

 

WeightingforMrRight_850

 

You can also find her book, “Weighting for Mr. Right” on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Love you people!!!! Mmmmmpppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

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All Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

 

Filed Under: Diet, Guest Post, Health & Wellness, Patricia Walters Fischer, Stress, Uncategorized, Weight Loss Tagged With: Entertainment Tonight, fairy godmother, glass slippers, Guest blog, Guest Post, January, Lisa Jey Davis, losing weight, Ms. Cheevious, New Years, patricia walters, Patricia Walters Fischer, Resolutions, weight loss support, weight loss support group, Weighting for Mr. Wright, weightloss

Resolution-Based Date Ideas for 2013

December 28, 2012 by MsCheevious

This is going to be brief (not). We are far too busy during the holidays to sit around reading random posts by aspiring writers (even if they’ve just published a book on Amazon for Kindle – oh yeah… uh huh…). But I wanted to get this off to you quickly… before the Hanukkah and Christmas decorations were yanked off the walls and the New Year’s Eve celebrations and the endless professions of New Year’s Resolutions began.

You know, I’m not much on making resolutions. I’ve got enough lists of things to do, one of which is my list of lifelong and short-term goals. I am so damn goal-oriented, I get overwhelmed looking at how long my list of goals has become.

That said, I’m not living under a rock, and I see your tweets and Facebook posts. I see what you share with me in your circles. I realize everyone is thinking in these last few days of the year about New Year’s Resolutions.

So I’m going to provide you my giant list of Goals or Resolutions for the coming year (there are two), and I’m double-timing the list. It will also serve as a list of great date ideas for you and any significant other you choose, or happen to be with, in 2013. I love killing two birds with one stone. So instead of hitting the Hot or Not or Tinder app you single wild-things, try THIS. And this first one might feel a little harsh, but that’s what resolutions are for.

1. CLEANSE THE CRAP AWAY.

My Resolution: This past year I went through a TON of crap, surgically, physically, mentally, emotionally… you name it. I also have deep emotions about food and booze. I’m in love with both of them. It’s a sordid love triangle. If I need to feel the love, I allow myself more indulgence than is generally necessary. So, come January, (after the New Year’s holiday travel), I’ll be lean, and dry, eating organically as much as possible, and drinking all non-alcoholic beverages. I plan to do this for at least a month. Stay tuned on that.

Your Date: Similar to me, many of you have experienced your own share of CRAP. Only yours may have been with the opposite sex. If that is the case, do a cleansing ritual of your own (perhaps burn their names on little tiny pieces of paper and send their ashes down the toilet). Then do us all a favor (yourself mostly) and vow to have a closed door policy on your life, would you? At least in regard to Mr. or Ms. Charming. Unless he or she does what they should to be granted admittance, don’t let that door creak open. Trust me. You’ll be surprised and delighted. Once you are surprised and delighted, let them in, and you can continue the cleansing as follows:

Take a BATH together baby. You and your date should seek out a cool bath house, a hot springs spa, outdoor pools, or simply fill the backyard (or indoor) Jacuzzi! Then jump in and enjoy. Bring the strawberries and wine or champagne. Just because I am abstaining from alcohol, doesn’t mean you must.

Awesome pools for skinny dipping

2. EXERCISE FREQUENTLY.

My Resolution:  For the same reasons listed above, my daily workout regimen has suffered greatly. I’m feeling more these days like a bobble-body than a svelte, lean, mean fighting machine (which I vehemently prefer). Play time is OVER. Time to get back to it, and at LEAST 3 times per week, at that. This starts the same time as the cleansing.  Yes.  It’s on. (And yes, I will probably be doing my yoga practice which is in my new book on Amazon — yeeeeee!!!!)

Your Date:  We could figuratively go to a wide array of places with this one… have sex frequently (I love that one), go to the gym together… But how about you go out for a long walk or hike? Next time, ride bikes. Don’t own one? Take a drive to the nearest bike-friendly location and rent them for the day. If bikes aren’t your thing, there are any number of alternatives: roller skating, blading, skateboarding, exercise your mind playing chess in the park. Pick an exercise and do it together!

Just be Active!

That’s all I got for ya‘.  I told you it would be brief.  Now, if you are so inclined, I’d love for you to find my books on Amazon for the Kindle, Kindle Fire and Kindle Fire HD.  Don’t have a Kindle? It’s okay! Amazon has a free Kindle Reader for your computer.  Click here to see my books, and if you choose to purchase one for a buck, ninety-nine, there should be an option to download Kindle for PC or Mac.

Have a beautiful, fun, safe New Year’s Eve celebration lovely ladies and gentlemen!  I’ll be in touch very soon!

#MomFactor: If you’re a single mom, all of the above applies to you. And I MEAN THAT. Get out there and date, lady! If you aren’t single, get out there with your significant other and DATE lady!

Filed Under: Blogroll, Dating, Diet, Health & Wellness, Relationships, Sex, Single Life, Single Moms, Uncategorized, Weight Loss, Women's Health Tagged With: Amazon, bath, Bike Riding, Cleansing, dates, Dating, Diet, exercise, hike, hot springs, new years resolution, new years resolutions, Resolution, Yoga

The “Be the Gorgeous You In This Moment” Nugget

July 8, 2012 by MsCheevious

Last night I was sitting in front of the big screen (the “big screen” is my iMac, which tends to enthrall me to the point of complete absorption far too often) recording a vlog for the week, when I noticed that I’ve somehow developed a panda eye.  PANDA EYE people! EEEEeeee!

You know what I’m referring to.  It’s the gray coloring some people get under the eye which resembles a panda bear.  In my case, it’s only on my right eye, so I’m not quite sure what that’s about. Diet? Lack of sleep? A vitamin or mineral deficiency? I will investigate this and report back, but I do not like it at all.

If you’ve ever watched my video logs (vlogs) on Youtube, you’ve no doubt noticed I don’t show the flaws on my face, if I can help it.  I over expose the hell out of those videos to soften any – ehem – distractions.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love natural flaws! I feel very strongly that I’ve earned every single fine line, smile mark or wrinkle I have.  They are my badge of honor.

However, I like my videos to bear a certain look and feel, and those untimely, out-of-the-ordinary blemishes like, say… my new PANDA EYE – tend to be a bit distracting when watching high-def video. As I was editing my video, I found that no amount of over exposure, brightness, or colorizing would hide or fix it this time.  I was stuck with one eye darker underneath than the other.

Panda Eye Me. Yes, I checked with friends. It isn't just the shadows, and this is a over-exposed, brightened version... So yes. Panda Eye Me.

That’s when I came to the grand epiphany that will hopefully empower you: The world will accept the “me” I deliver to them – PERIOD.  They have to.  It’s all I’ve got to give them:  me in THIS moment, including any and all flaws. It may not be pretty, but it’s a package deal.

And really, as simplistic as it sounds, how often do we feverishly fret over things we have no control over?

As I sit here finishing this article up on my 47th birthday (yes, I am old enough to be your mother, your besty, your bridesmaid, your… grandmother perhaps?), I have come to the fabulous decision to be me. To LET IT RIP – as I am.

That doesn’t mean I won’t take showers or wash my face, and treat it to the glorious moisturizer bath it loves daily, or take the time to put on my make-up.  No.  It means, in any given moment, who I am is who you get!  The same is true for you!  I truly make it my life’s mission to accept people for who they really are in each moment… to see them for the gorgeous person they are, beneath the top layer, and to allow them to be authentic.

In short: BE the gorgeous you that you are, right now. Bring it. You’ve got game, no matter what size, shape, race or whatever you are.  Shadows and all.

This will liberate you. I promise.

Have a fabulous week everyone! I’m visiting Comic Con in San Diego.  Now that will surely be fodder for a ri-donk-ulously mischievous tale! Stay tuned.

Love you people!!!! Mmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Aging, Diet, Health & Wellness, Living Life, Meditation, Uncategorized Tagged With: Authentic Living, Authenticity, Blemishes, Comic Con, FIne Lines, Panda Eye, Wrinkles

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

April 9, 2012 by MsCheevious

I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Aging, Anti-stress, Chicky Fun, Daisies, Death and Dying, Diet, Girls Gone Wild, Health & Wellness, Meditation, Menopause, Orchids, Puberty, Stress, Uncategorized, Weight Loss Tagged With: aging, daisies, Lisa Jey Davis, menopause, orchids, puberty

It’s Time to Delve Into Twelve

January 11, 2012 by MsCheevious

If you’re at all like me, you found yourself simply cruising through the holidays, way back in 2011, just trying to survive. Thoughts of resolutions were the furthest things from your mind. More important to deal with were the little (or not so little) family dramas, the last minute shopping, wrapping gifts (or handing out dreidels)  and the burnt cookies.

Then suddenly, everyone was talking about resolutions, as if they’d been planning theirs for months. You know, come to think of it, it really annoys me when people come out with resolutions, and then back them up with these “all-knowing” statements,  as if suddenly they are the definitive experts in their resolution’s field… Here are a couple of examples, (and I’m sure you have plenty to offer as well):

“I’m going to get into sculpting this year.  It’s one of the five most difficult art-forms known to man, but I think I’m up to it. My friend, who’s a fellow at NYU, says I have the hands and the eye for it.”

OR

“I’m going to lose twenty pounds and keep it off, this time.  This new diet, XYZ, is the only one that works.  I’ve checked into it.”

So yeah.  Everyone was talking the big talk.  But in my case my “everyone” was mostly in cyberspace. I know. Sad.

It was when one of my youtube “friends” whom I’ve never actually met in person, @SooperChorus, put together a New Years resolution challenge, where he promised to pick the best video responses to feature in his next post, that my interest was peaked.  What sort of resolutions would I make?  Would stating my goals / resolutions for all the world to see be any different than telling a few people at the water cooler?  And, isn’t the internet my own personal water cooler?  Would doing so make me feel more accountable to actually achieve them? And most importantly, what would all of my famous, snooty, celebrity friends and clients think?  To date, they’ve basically trembled and reveled in awe at my chutzpah, and my willingness to be so transparent in such FUN and INTERESTING ways. Nah… they wouldn’t be a problem.  Hmmm.

It all started with a question to my man, M.C. Nugget*, “Do you know how to record a video while I am sitting here at my iMac?”  You see, we are all about professional videos, with cameras, lights, mics and things, but I’ve just never really done video with my desktop computer.  I took one look at myself sitting in front of the screen, and – uh – NO.

As they said in the old H.R. Puffinstuff kid’s show, “MAKEUP!!!“

This had to be out-of-the-box – at least from all the other video responses, if I was going to publish it.

So – well, without further adieu, here is my video response to @SooperChorus, with a list of my 2012 New Year’s Resolutions.

DISCLAIMER:  I actually have a real list of my own… some of which did not make this video…  Some things are just for ME, un-kay?

ENJOY MY LOVELIES!  And then be sure to read on, to see what happened!

If your browser or email does not show the video box above, click the box below to be taken to the video on Youtube.

The end result?  I was chosen by @SooperChorus as one of three video responses to be featured.  He edited my video (and left off my #5)  but I didn’t mind.  I was actually REALLY SHOCKED because when posted it, I mentioned in the comments I was probably disqualified because he requested videos of a minute or less, and mine was FOUR minutes.  I guess ya just can’t ignore greatness.  HEH HEH.

Check out HIS video featuring ME (it’s very SILLY – but did you expect anything else?) here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjNaiPm3Ngw&feature=colike

My Question of the Week

I know, I don’t do that – but it sounded too cool…

What are your plans for Delving into Twelve?

Think about it and post a reply here.

Stay tuned next week for a slide show of more MAMMOTH MOUNTAIN MOMENTS.  Oh!  Or maybe a new TECHNO BABE MOMENTS.  See you then!

Love you people!!!!  MMMMMPPPHHHUUUHHHH!!!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

*For you newbies out there, M.C. Nugget (aka Nuggie, Emcee Nugget, etc) is my beau – an actor who actually WORKS in Hollywood– also formerly known as Fred the Wonder Chicken or FWC — I assign “aliases” to all of my friends and family, so their antics can remain anonymous.  I am the only person I know who doesn’t care if people know what I’ve been up to.  So I protect their identities!

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Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Chicky Fun, Diet, Health & Wellness, Hip Chicks, Holidays, Sheer Utter Silliness, Uncategorized, Weight Loss Tagged With: 2012, MsCheevious, new years resolutions, SooperChorus

The Witty “Post-Surgery, Holiday Blues”

December 14, 2011 by MsCheevious

This EXTREMELY valuable, UNIQUE and BRILLIANT piece of journalism (no egos to massage here) was actually included in a recent post – “Mammoth Mountain Moments & a Lesson in Branding.” Yep. It was indeed.  So sue me.

I’m sure you didn’t see it because well, it was at the very bottom of the post, tucked underneath another brilliant piece of video journalism – named after aforesaid post, and it had absolutely nothing to do with said title. Needless to say, this little GEM got lost in the shuffle.  AND WHY WOULDN’T IT HAVE? That post was FRIGGIN LONG!!!

People, do me a favor, would you?  Remind me – unless it’s TRULY WARRANTED – like when I’m talking about the mutated Genes I have discovered in my body, or something similar – to keep things short, would ya?  We’re all family here aren’t we?  I’ll do my part.  Promise.  I’ll put the following on my DAILY TO DO LIST or glue it to my rear view mirror or something:

  • MS. CHEEVIOUS! REMINDER: make it quick, long-winded one.

So here it is again.  Because – well – I enjoy laughing at myself in recovery, and I thought you may enjoy it as well.  Plus, it could help you some day — ya just never know.

Enjoy.

My List of Tips for the Post-Surgery, Holiday Blues:

1. One word. SWELL. In other words, something you won’t feel, as in “Gee, I feel SWELL today”… If, however, you relegate the word “SWELL” to it’s literal definition: A huge amount of puffiness, due to an undue amount of fluid retention, then this is you after surgery:

Oh, your entire body will feel and look years younger. Yep. No wrinkles or anything, because you’ll retain SO MUCH FLUID, your skin will feel as though it’s about to POP from the stretching and the swelling. No wrinkles, my lovelies, but no guarantees on no stretch marks afterward either!

2. MEDS & SIDE EFFECTS. If you have any allergies to antibiotics on the books, well, just PLAN to add RASH and ITCHY-BODY to the mix. There is a good chance you’ll be allergic to at least ONE of the meds prescribed in order to help you heal afterward. This will further increase the effects of item #1, because we all know that when we rash-out, we also blimp-up.

Sorry! There’s no way to make hives look pretty..

3. DIET. No matter how tempting or yummy it looks — Do not eat food containing enormous amounts of CHEESE the day or night before surgery. Just don’t.

4. GOOD OLE GRANDMA. Plan to wear your granny clothes for at least two weeks, because nothing else will fit or look decent..

5. HOLIDAY ATTIRE. Start planning weeks ahead of time what you can wear to that one holiday or Christmas gathering… do so in a vain attempt to try and fool others into thinking you’re the same old you, and you did NOT just undergo a major procedure. And, although you’d normally be wearing your skinny jeans or mini-skirt and sexy top with stilettos, it was a FASHION choice to don the Black turtle neck, long loose skirt, high heeled boots and festive jewels. Because, well, it IS all the rage… somewhere.

frumpyholiday-199x300

The new sleek departure from your usual fashion statement should help distract sufficiently from what I like to call your “surgery center” – in my case, the newly formed BULBUS boobies protruding from my body, and the puffed out arms, legs, fingers and toes — there normally to help me manage life, but barely able to help me squeak around the Christmas Tree this year.
6. SMOOTH MOVE. With much Pain Medication comes much Constipation. Sorry, but no. That IBS won’t come in handy now. Eat healthy stuff afterward so you can – ehem – “eliminate” things when you need to. Oh, and repeat after me: Stool Softeners are My Friend.


7. NURSES CAN HELP YOU. When your hot man or lady offers to “nurse” you back to health, say YES. And let them. Just pretend they are wearing a Chippendale’s or Playboy Bunny costume, and let the medications take over. You’ll be drooling in your sleep in no time …and, you can claim it’s all due to hot dreams and fantasies, and not the lack of [nuero-muscular] control you have in your mouth, while sleeping — yeah!

My man, M.C. Nugget as a Sexy Santa
Awe..yeahhhhhh…One can dream, can’t one?

8. ENJOY EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. You’re here aren’t you? You made it! It’s only a matter of time before you are back in charge and in control, so enjoy the moments, and have a good sense of humor. It’s the only way to live!

Have a wonderfully Happy Happy, Merry Merry Christmas (Chanukah, Quanza, etc. etc.) and New Year.  Eat and drink to your heart’s content, for in the New Year we DIET!

Love you people!!!

Mmmmmphhhhuuuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Anti-stress, Cancer, Diet, Stress, Uncategorized Tagged With: Holiday Blues, Sexy Santa, Surgery Recovery

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