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Authenticity

My Life in Real Time, A.B.E.

October 14, 2012 by MsCheevious

This past week my life became divided into two eras (think, “2000 B.C.” or if you ascribe to the other label, “2000 BCE” and “2012 A.D.”).

I chose to be defined by my most recent surgeries, and the “eras” in my life were humorously labeled Before the Boobie Era (B.B.E.) and After the Boobie Era (A.B.E.). Today I’m going to share my life in real time, A.B.E.

The era titles are all part of a master plan, of course… a Ms. Cheevious, fun way of bringing attention to October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month (and in honor of my sister Mimi Larimore, who lost her battle with Ovarian Cancer – something that is typically related, genetically).

I actually wrote/talked about the creation of these two eras, and shared a special edition comical v-log about it this week on Singles Warehouse. It was a lighthearted glimpse into my life  and a couple of reasons the two eras came to be… (that post is here and you may need it after reading this one — OY: http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/10/before-the-boobie-era-bbe/).

But shit just got really “real” for me tonight.  I can wax Ms. Cheevious (empowered, frivolous, free-spirited) all I want, but if someone brings the shit to me, well they’re gonna’ get Ms. Cheevious with a whole boat load of Lisa J. backing her up.

Just keep reading.

Every single one of us moves through our lives in our own space and time.  We know when we feel good, fulfilled…happy, and when we do not. We set our goals in life based on the memory of those feelings and the desire to be in that good, fulfilled… happy state for ourselves, our children, our lives.  I’m talking about our persons people.  We know when we like who we are, and when we don’t. We set goals for who we want to “be” (and all that entails).

We become focused on these goals… chipping slowly away at achieving them, unrelentingly.  And along that little path, the compulsion to continue the pursuit remains, even if out of balance, while the tendency to aggrandize and justify our sometimes too-fervent efforts (as altruistic and pure … for the good of ourselves, our children and our loved ones) rises up within us at every “thought” or every “someone” who would question our uber-focus toward our goals.. desires… even our efforts. Hopefully as we move along the path, we correct any present imbalance and move back to center, still focused on the prize.

Though this path of focus and sometime achievement often provides us obstacles of either our own design, or of those we meet on the path… seldom do our movements provide a crystal clear glimpse of their affect on our loved ones.

It’s no matter if determination is our sword (as it is mine) and humor and frivolity our shield (that’s mine too).  Nothing dooms the work of the sword so fast, at least in my case, as the verbal declaration of my own son of his embarrassment at the thought of being known as the son of Ms. Cheevious. His life’s dread is for his friends to connect him to “her.”

Yes. Here the happy-go-lucky “I” was, and moving through my life, chipping away at my goals, enjoying every moment… when my adult son, who is part and parcel to the journey (one of the very reasons behind the compulsion to achieve goals, to relentlessly chip away at them for the good of “him”… of “them”), made it clear he does not want to be associated in any way with the Ms. Cheevious side of me. Something about guys and the way they think, and the fact his mom is attractive, single and in her forties, or some such story… that is all he could offer to explain. He obviously knows nothing of Ms. Cheevious…

I could spend my entire life or certainly the rest of this article analyzing this. I could die trying to make sense of why on earth a website moniker, even a persona that is rooted in LIVING LIFE POSITIVELY, having FUN, the PURSUIT OF DREAMS, the PURSUIT OF AUTHENTICITY and THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN would embarrass anyone.  I could also chalk it up to insecurity… or ignorance.  That he simply doesn’t know what it’s all about, who I am or who Ms. Cheevious is. That he’s basing it purely on what he “thinks” the name means, which is ridiculous.

But I won’t do that. I’d be making his same mistake.  I don’t know the depths of his reasoning. And he has his own journey. He has to choose his own sword and shield, and if they inhibit his ability to “allow” all around him to “be” who they want to be, including me… well… I cannot help him. I can only be….well, me.

I am pretty damn good at analyzing my own shit, especially if I go deep, but I don’t ever get very far attempting to analyze anyone else’s, so I’ll spare you.  All I can do is respond, assimilate, absorb and continue.  I love both of my sons. I love all of my loved ones.  I accept them for whomever they choose to be… even if who they choose to be doesn’t allow for me, as I choose to be.

And so, it is in the here and now, in real time, that I’ll spell it out for you. This is where the shit gets real:

Dammit all, but life is not what we expect.  It doesn’t come to us in the pretty package we love, that is easy to handle and comfortable for us to “live” in.  Life comes to us with a bunch of loose tools, nuts, bolts and moving parts (some with a will of their own), and we attempt to put it all together without an instruction manual.

The fact is, I am Lisa J. Davis.  I am Ms. Cheevious. Ms. Cheevious is everything I truly am and I am everything she could ever hope to be… Fun-loving, free-spirited, thoughtful, energetic, intelligent, fearless, fierce, loving, kind, giving and MOTIVATED beyond belief.  All of these traits (and so many more) are the essence of me… and the essence of Ms. Cheevious, and what I hope for any Ms. Cheevious woman.

So, if my son (or any loved one) has deep-rooted beliefs or misunderstandings of what it means to “be” Ms. Cheevious or me, and chooses to take on a fear of association without really knowing what it means… well, that, my lovely boys and girls is truly and quite simply their choice.

That’s it? That’s where the shit gets real?

Why… yes! And that is a friggin’ EPIPHANY people!  That choice is what makes those loved ones who “they” are. And I choose to allow them to “be.” To sit with that.  I may ache for a bit over their choice, knowing there is so much more that could set them free if they only tried to see beyond their paradigm…  that there is so much more we could share and love and live together, if they only could see… I can hurt for the rejection.  But I also love them without attachment. I love my son for everything that he is, for the life he is building with his tools, nuts, bolts, willful moving parts… and with no instruction manual. I love seeing what’s coming out of his life. It thrills me, warms my heart, makes me laugh, cry and shine with pride. And I will continue to do so.

But this is my life, my friends, in real time. I am Ms. Cheevious, and I always will be.

Before the Boobie Era, After the Boobie Era, come rain, shine, sickness, surgery, health, love, loss … I am very happy in my own skin. I am glad for my life, for who I am, and I look forward to the next adventure.

Bring it… because I am sticking around…


Image Credit: http://www.thinknice.com/cute-inspirational-pinup-quotes/

Now go out there and be just who you are, come hell or high water.

“Believe in Yourself & all that you are. Know there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson Quote

Love you people!!!! Mmmpphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Lisa Jey Davis

aka Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis] Chief

Before You Go:

Please post on Facebook or tweet the below statement, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

SAVE.YOUR.LIFE. If relatives suffered Ovarian or Breast cancer, GET THE GENETIC SCREENING. #BRCA #BreastCancerAwareness @MsCheevious

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Register to receive blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

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Other articles you may enjoy from Ms. Cheevious:

Before the Boobie Era (BBE) (On Singles Warehouse)

Lack of attention to her boyfriend spurs Lisa Jey’s creation of a new era! (Read More)

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Why I’m Glad I’m a Woman – And You Should Be Too

 

I’m fairly confident I could write an equally flattering post on how wonderful it is to be a man; however I’m not one. It’s great to be a chick. (READ MORE)

 

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You can also follow Ms. Cheevious’ beau M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Family, Health & Wellness, Kids, Living Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Single Moms, Uncategorized, Womens Issues Tagged With: Authenticity, Before the Boobie Era, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Lisa J. Davis, Lisa Jey Davis, Ms. Cheevious, Pursuing Your Dreams, Pursuit of Happiness, Rejection, Singles Warehouse

The “Be the Gorgeous You In This Moment” Nugget

July 8, 2012 by MsCheevious

Last night I was sitting in front of the big screen (the “big screen” is my iMac, which tends to enthrall me to the point of complete absorption far too often) recording a vlog for the week, when I noticed that I’ve somehow developed a panda eye.  PANDA EYE people! EEEEeeee!

You know what I’m referring to.  It’s the gray coloring some people get under the eye which resembles a panda bear.  In my case, it’s only on my right eye, so I’m not quite sure what that’s about. Diet? Lack of sleep? A vitamin or mineral deficiency? I will investigate this and report back, but I do not like it at all.

If you’ve ever watched my video logs (vlogs) on Youtube, you’ve no doubt noticed I don’t show the flaws on my face, if I can help it.  I over expose the hell out of those videos to soften any – ehem – distractions.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love natural flaws! I feel very strongly that I’ve earned every single fine line, smile mark or wrinkle I have.  They are my badge of honor.

However, I like my videos to bear a certain look and feel, and those untimely, out-of-the-ordinary blemishes like, say… my new PANDA EYE – tend to be a bit distracting when watching high-def video. As I was editing my video, I found that no amount of over exposure, brightness, or colorizing would hide or fix it this time.  I was stuck with one eye darker underneath than the other.

Panda Eye Me. Yes, I checked with friends. It isn't just the shadows, and this is a over-exposed, brightened version... So yes. Panda Eye Me.

That’s when I came to the grand epiphany that will hopefully empower you: The world will accept the “me” I deliver to them – PERIOD.  They have to.  It’s all I’ve got to give them:  me in THIS moment, including any and all flaws. It may not be pretty, but it’s a package deal.

And really, as simplistic as it sounds, how often do we feverishly fret over things we have no control over?

As I sit here finishing this article up on my 47th birthday (yes, I am old enough to be your mother, your besty, your bridesmaid, your… grandmother perhaps?), I have come to the fabulous decision to be me. To LET IT RIP – as I am.

That doesn’t mean I won’t take showers or wash my face, and treat it to the glorious moisturizer bath it loves daily, or take the time to put on my make-up.  No.  It means, in any given moment, who I am is who you get!  The same is true for you!  I truly make it my life’s mission to accept people for who they really are in each moment… to see them for the gorgeous person they are, beneath the top layer, and to allow them to be authentic.

In short: BE the gorgeous you that you are, right now. Bring it. You’ve got game, no matter what size, shape, race or whatever you are.  Shadows and all.

This will liberate you. I promise.

Have a fabulous week everyone! I’m visiting Comic Con in San Diego.  Now that will surely be fodder for a ri-donk-ulously mischievous tale! Stay tuned.

Love you people!!!! Mmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Aging, Diet, Health & Wellness, Living Life, Meditation, Uncategorized Tagged With: Authentic Living, Authenticity, Blemishes, Comic Con, FIne Lines, Panda Eye, Wrinkles

Make 2012 Your Golden Year

January 1, 2012 by MsCheevious

I received this wayyyy back on December 14th — last year — I just love saying that, even though it was only a couple of weeks ago. I subscribe to Daily OM, but rarely have the time to read their emails, even though there are some great nuggets in each. I’m sure that is true of each of you – my readers – as well. It would not surprise me to hear that, although you know you are going to chuckle, be inspired, or encouraged in one of my emails, there just is not enough time in your Rockin-and-Rollin’ lives to read or watch all of my posts. You probably wonder where I get the time. Well, we all have our to-do-lists. HA!

I hope you WILL take the time to read this, from the Daily Om, December 14, 2011. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT. I find that every single one of us makes promises that somehow slip through the cracks.  We do it in the form of phrases like “I’m going to (insert a promise to do something for a friend or loved one)” or “I’ll call you next week” or even the casual, but still flaky if they don’t happen, “Let’s catch up soon” or “Let’s have lunch!”

The post is so packed full of truth.  It’s also encouraging – and reminds us to be authentic. Let’s all work toward authenticity in 2012, shall we?

As Good as Your Word
Promises

We forget how powerful our words are and when [we] make promises it is up to us to make sure we keep our words sacred.

Ever since human beings could speak to one another, they have been making promises and keeping them or not keeping them. Those who keep their promises are regarded as people of integrity, while those who don’t keep their promises are regarded as people who at best can’t be taken seriously and at worst can’t be trusted. Sometimes we forget how powerful our words are, and we use them haphazardly or unconsciously, creating expectations that are never fulfilled, leaving disappointment and distrust in our wake.

On an even deeper level, there are promises we may have made to ourselves that we don’t remember because they have slipped into our unconscious. An early heartache may have been followed by a promise never to trust love again. Without realizing it, we may be fulfilling that promise and wondering why our love life looks so grim….Upon realizing that we have made a promise we no longer wish to be beholden to, we can perform a ritual of requesting release from that bond. In doing so, we clear ourselves of outmoded connections and patterns, returning ourselves to a clean slate. Then we can resolve to remember that our word is sacred and to be very conscious of any promises we make to ourselves or to others.

We may ask to be released from any promises made to ourselves or others …consciously or unconsciously, that are holding us back from fulfilling our greatest good. We may ask that love, light, and healing be sent to any souls who have suffered from our inability to be true to our word, including ourselves. We can ask for the wisdom to do our best and from this point forward to be true to our word, promising only what we truly intend to deliver. The resulting clear conscience and liberated energy will illustrate this truth: We are only as good as our word.

Isn’t that the truth? Now, take some time to think about you… your patterns, habits, casual communication techniques… and evaluate them.  If you feel you should brush up on your “AUTHENTICITY” skills, and be more true to your word, I challenge you to do just that.  Eliminate those habits and patterns from your life that keep you from being “REAL”.  Don’t gauge your behavior on that of others.  Your foot print is your own.  You must own it, as your foot print remains when you are long gone.

But here is the good news.  With every new year comes a brand new start.  Anyone can do this.  That includes you!!

Wiping the Slate Clean for a New Year - 2012

Have a ROCKIN’ and ROLLIN’ New Year everyone! I know you movers and shakers are rarin’ to dive into this year and make it rain.  So be it!  Dive in baby!

Tune in again for something FUN and some good laughs!  PROMISE!

Love you People!!!! Mmmmmppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Go to the Ms. Cheevious Home page, and enter your email address where it asks for it, then click subscribe. It’s that easy!

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious


Filed Under: Health & Wellness, Living Life, Meditation, Uncategorized Tagged With: Authenticity, Be True to Your Word, Daily OM, Keeping Your Word

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