Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

Puberty

What to Do About What They Didn’t Teach You In School

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I apologize that I am starting your week off with this piece of news – especially since now that Easter and Passover is finished, we are happily diving in to Spring… but – well – You are getting older.

Yep. It’s true. No one gets out of this thing without getting older and aging.
I know. Yawwwwwn.

I’ve already heard from the peanut gallery:  “But Ms. Cheevious… we want to hear about something fun that you did in Hollywood!!!”  and “When will you be the same funny blogger we have come to know, love, worship and obey?”

I know.

I KNOW.

Indulge me while I share this important information. I realize that the “Lisa Jey Davis” side of me is not as fun ALL THE DAMN TIME as the Ms. Cheevious side of me, but you would never know just how fun life could be, if you were never faced with real-life shit some of the time. Right?

Just because I’m talking about getting older here does not mean this post is not for you, or that it’s boring, no.  I don’t care how you size it up, but I am never boring.  Slow? Maybe. Blond and ditzy at times?  Definitely.  Boring? No. Nada. Niet. Never.

The truth is, if you are a SMART young thing, you’ll pay attention to this, so that you will still manage to be HOT, GORGEOUS, HEALTHY and FUN when you DO get older… like forty years from now. So listen up.

Last week, I talked about all those things that start happening when you get older and start to go through menopause (from here on out, called Orchids). Similar to puberty (now called Daisies), you’ll start to have some erratic mood swings and acne breakouts.  You’ll suffer water retention and weight gain (particularly if you do hormone replacement therapy) and your hair and skin will change texture and consistency. BLECH!!!  I know.  And the worst of it?  You could be at risk for dementia! So here is what you can do. Watch the video below. It will answer all of your questions. Be sure to post comments below, and if you have any remaining questions, I will be sure to answer them (just make sure you request to be notified when your comments are posted or you’ll have to keep checking back).

If your browser won’t show you the above video, then watch it here.

Tune in next time for Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This youtube channel is NOT to be confused with my Ms. Cheevious channel, which has more comedic funny videos.  You will be visiting the Lisa Jey Davis vlog channel if you follow the above link to YouTube.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Things They Didn’t Tell You in School About Your Body

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I originally covered this subject in a Video log (Vlog) post on YouTube (at *www.youtube.com/lisajeydavis). If you’ve followed along in my blog like an addict and read the post where I first introduced those Vlogs – you’ll know that I don’t like to share the Lisa Jey Davis’ stuff in here. Generally.

There are no cross-overs in Ms. Cheevious-land! She stays in her real-world, and I get to be ME, breaking all the rules, taking no prisoners and living out all my fantasies in peace. But she did “create” me. In fact, she is me.  Well, a sweeter, less racy, more “Miss Manners” sort of me. So, here I am pimping her videos instead of mine.  But I digress… The point is, this stuff is important, so the information in this video is coming to life right here on the blog.

When you get older — like, way past the 30’s and 40’s for most adults – there is this THING we all go through, and this, they DO tell us about in school.  It’s called Menopause.

It’s such an ugly word – menopause.  I’ve said it many times (though perhaps here it’s a first): Because Menopause is an ugly word, I’ve renamed it Orchids. We all know from school that everyone goes through “Orchids” when they get older.  It’s a right of passage into our senior citizen years, much like Puberty (now called Daisies because Puberty is an awful, ugly word as well) is a right of passage from pre-teen into adulthood.

Let me make something very clear, before going on:  I am too young for “Orchids.”  The only reason I know anything about this, is because I was medically required to remove most of my female parts (see that post here), which thrust me suddenly and abruptly into Orchids.  So, this is not just for senior citizens here, people.  You TWENTY-SOMETHINGS should pay attention now, so you can move through life informed of what’s coming. Perhaps then you’ll choose to enjoy every moment while you still can.  Seriously though, entering and enduring Orchids does NOT mean the end of the world or quality of life as you know it.  Quite the contrary.  I’m more comfortable in my own skin and happy with me than I’ve ever been.  I’m still LOVING life, and enjoying every single moment.  Anyone can.

Also, because I AM in Orchids, I am now an expert. Capiche?

The only real thing about Orchids they warned us about in school is that something hormonal happens which causes women to get bat-shit crazy and all “super-hormonal” up in the faces of everyone they know and love. My only experience with it before now was how my mom’s tone of voice became super shrill and freak-of-nature intense.  That’s about it. Oh, and she cut her hair short.

What they don’t tell you about Orchids is that in many ways it’s very similar to Daisies.  Here are a few of the take-aways:

1.  It’s very similar to Daisies in that your skin changes.

2. Your hair changes (get ready people).

3. You’ll retain water on a daily basis (that is, if you must supplement your body with hormones – or Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)), and no matter what, you WILL gain weight, because your body goes into survival mode if it isn’t producing hormones anymore (for women, Estrogen & Progesterone) and holds onto fat cells, which happen to be the last remaining body component that has hormones in it.  Yep.  Pull out the fat clothes (at least until you figure it out and get things back to normal).

4. If you opt to do HRT, it can cause the dreaded — drum roll —

Eh… I don’t think I’ll tell you here.  You’ll have to watch the following video to get the rest of the scoop on what they don’t tell us in school!!  And there are some DOOZIES you’ll want to know about!

Trust me. Though it’s serious subject matter here, I think you’ll enjoy this video.  You may even laugh just a little. If you don’t see the video viewer below, here is the link: http://youtu.be/J1B6IZ9f0uE

See?  That was pretty painless, wasn’t it?  And I am still here.  I am not cutting my hair.  We’re all okay here.  There’s no need to panic.

If you happened to find this video funny, informative or helpful in anyway, feel free to share this post with your friends.

Tune in next time for tips on handling this lovely new information! If you haven’t already watched it in my vlogs, I’ll showcase it here.  Soon, I’ll be talking about the Things Guys Secretly Wish About Women.

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on the related vlog on YouTube here if you’d like.

*This channel is not to be confused with the Ms. Cheevious channel.  Lisa Jey Davis’ vlogs on her channel regularly.

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Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)

BECOME ONE OF MY MANY FOLLOWERS (MWAH HA HA HA) IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious