Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

#dailymischief

When did we forget how to do this?

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WHEN DID WE FORGET HOW TO DO THIS?

 

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M.C. Nugget and I went on a little getaway over Halloween weekend. We were invited to a big party in Downtown LA, and though we never venture into downtown or anywhere east of Lincoln Blvd, for that matter, a former client owns a hotel there and gave us a great deal, yada, yada, yada… yeah, yeah, yeah… We all know how this story goes.

We went to that party on Friday night, the blessed cacophony of mayhem and mischief that it was. But if you can imagine being in the center of a huge warehouse full of people in ornate, colorful costumes, dancing to bass-thumping music… Then picture yourself twirling around so fast that you see only a blaze of color and wind; Or think about if you were to enter a 3D black light art installation, were handed 3D glasses by the people at Altervision, and all you could see were bright, loud, neon colors in the wind.

MsCheevious_Nuggie_Halloween_2014

Not sure how we don’t look blue there, because every other photo made us look like the blueberry girl from Willie Wonka.

Blacklight Art Installation

THERE IS ONE OF THEM.. a blueberry girl, otherwise known as Tinker Bell from Altervision.

 

If you’ve come this far with me, imagine on the next evening, entering an ancient Electrical Plant-turned speakeasy from the 1920’s, with burlesque shows and fifteen dollar beers. If you can imagine all of that, then you know that THIS IS HOW THESE STORIES GO.

But how does the story end?

How this story ends, is, well a little disappointing, because somewhere along the line, Nuggie and I forgot how to do this shit (or maybe it’s just that I forgot). Somehow the metrics have completely escaped me for how to bring all of the pieces of this story together so it ends with us lying in a bed of posies, butterflies fluttering and beautiful music lulling us into a peaceful sleep at the end of a huge weekend. Instead, it ends with the zombiefied versions of me and Nuggie exiting our hotel room, sunglasses on, making a beeline to our comfortable, friendly neighborhood bar for brunch (and a little hair of the dog, in Nuggie’s case, because remember, I don’t get hangovers). And by little, I mean I made note of the number of cocktails I was having this time (this is number 4, okay, this is number 5), I lost count somewhere between number 5 and when I found myself back home at the beach palace, waking up to the sound of a blaring alarm clock telling me it was time to get up and teach the minions how to live and be healthy.

Yes, I woke up and put on my best healthy face, when really I just wanted to crawl back into bed.

It didn’t help that we “fell back” an hour on the clocks, which creates its own sort of jet lag for me.

Nuggie and I both have been sleeping ever since last weekend, and I have made a solemn vow to let the whirlwind, twirlie girls in their 20’s, 30’s and so on handle the whirlwind weekends from here on out. Stay tuned on that one, but just don’t hold your breath.

Because apparently we really did forget how to do this without getting sick or sleeping for three weeks afterward.

 

#MomFactor: These kinds of parties and activities work wonders for showing your kids you’ve not lost all sense of “cool” by becoming a mom. If you can do them without going too wild, you’re golden. 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my blissful yoga routine in an eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

This is what family does

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Last month I flew home for three days to help my family do a spruce up of our childhood home. I come from a family of 11 – yes ELEVEN – kids from the same set of biological parents. We were raised Catholic. I have my own set of excuses I like to give for how 11 kids came about… “My mom was Catholic and my dad was easy…”, “My dad was in the navy, so my mom got pregnant every time he came home”… “I was adopted.” You get the idea.

Our family home is on the market, but was in dire need of serious attention, so, off I went.

When I say that my family and I did this, I’m exaggerating. Sure, twelve people were present and accounted for:

Me and my three sisters (Pah-tay, Ice-tay and Smart-tay – all of the “tays” were in my Capers of the Sherwood Kind video);

Our lovely former sis-in-law Hot-Tay and her beau;

Two of Smart-tay’s lovely daughters (our nieces), a grand-niece and one of Bliss-Niece’s good friends (all came from out of town to help);

One of our brothers (when he wasn’t working – about a half a day – throughout the weekend);

A girl I went to school with in third grade who was crazy (I mean lovely) enough to respond to my begging and pleading on Facebook;

When I say that we spruced up the home, I mean we prepped a seven bedroom home, the doors, light fixtures, fireplace, trim etc. We painted four of the bedrooms, most of the main rooms (kitchen, living room, den, bathroom), and we did things like repair lights that were falling out of the ceiling, linoleum that was peeling up and so on. We also strategically placed throw rugs to cover flooring that would be replaced when the house sells. IN TWO DAYS.

WE ROCKED THAT THING.

On Saturday night our youngest brother invited us (his sisters) to come out to hear his band perform at a bar in town. Smar-Tay and Ice-Tay, the two oldest, declined. They don’t “do” clubs anymore. That left me, Pah-tay and Hot-tay to represent for our brother. We were exhausted and covered in paint, but something about live music at a club (and copious amounts of cocktails) holds a certain appeal and makes a girl want to make an effort. Plus, we felt it was a great opportunity to show our brother that we support him and our family, regardless of circumstances.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Our little rock-n-roll brother did not grace our family’s home once during the weekend, even on his day off. Two other of our brothers didn’t make it for various other reasons. (Okay, one of them cut the tip of his finger off, and the other was in rehab… EXCUSES, EXCUSES).

But THIS? This begs the question, “Why show up in support of little rocker brother, when he didn’t support you?” which demands the answer: BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT FAMILY DOES. We (my sisters and I) are not barbarians, for goddsakes. 

Here is what our family’s home looked like on Monday morning, as we laid down the last of the throw rugs, and Pah-tay and I drove to the airport to fly home:

Family Spruce Up

By the way – if you’re an actor, producer, director, or just someone who loves the Southwest, and you’re looking for an affordable place to shack up in Albuquerque, maybe so you can ride the New Mexico Entertainment Industry Gravy Train… Have I got a property for you! And it’s SUPER AFFORDABLE, with a swimming pool, on corner lot, with TONS OF SPACE, and two blocks from the Catholic church. Need I say more?

I’d buy it if I could, because dangit – it’s a great house. SNIFF SNIFF.

#MomFactor: Teach your sons to be chivalrous, valiant, and to protect, love and support their sisters. 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get the blissful yoga routine in an eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” by Lisa Jey Davis for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

 

Sometimes you have to do things for yourself

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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF

 

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When friends come to play in LA, I don’t always have the freedom to run around town with them. But when my friend Stiletto came to town all the way from Florida to introduce us to her beau (who’d never been to LA), I broke away for a little fun. Getting to Hollywood from the beach is no small task, even on a Wednesday at 1PM. It took me a solid hour to get there, and by the time I made it to the Roosevelt Hotel to meet them for lunch, they’d already sampled a handful of the craft cocktails at Public Bar. I sat down next to my friend, observed an interesting pink colored cocktail with a sprig of Rosemary sticking out of it in front of her, and after a hellacious drive, I said “I’ll have what she’s having.” It was called the Strawberry Fields with Russian Standard, Strawberry, Rosemary, lime and Ginger beer. I ordered it sans Ginger beer. And this is how my afternoon with them began.

With cocktails.

After lunch, we walked along Hollywood Boulevard and I grinned as I recalled the last time I was on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, with my sisters.

There is something about Hollywood that brings out the mischief in me. [you can tweet that]

So, when Stiletto suggested it was time I had my own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I couldn’t argue.

I don’t know that one of those stars will ever be presented to me, but sometimes you have to do things for yourself.

In red lipstick.

And when the first attempt isn’t always the best.

The first Attempt at a Star...

You try, try again.

Ms. Cheevious on The Hollywood Walk of Fame

Ms. Cheevious by her Star

 

#MomFactor: Tell your kids this, and exemplify it for them: If at first you don’t succeed, TRY, TRY AGAIN. 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right sidebar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

 

 

If I had one our problems would be over

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IF I HAD ONE OUR PROBLEMS WOULD BE OVER

 

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It’s probably no surprise to those who know me, but I think I should have my own television show. I THINK THIS OFTEN.

And it’s not that I believe I’m more talented than others with their own show or that I have an idea for a show that’s never been done (though that’s debatable). It’s simply because If I had a show, I could GET STUFF DONE.

IMPORTANT STUFF.

I HAVE A DREAM.

It’s not only great to dream about making a difference (while creating and starring in your own show). It’s AWESOME to date someone who supports you in every zany idea. M.C. Nugget is that kind of guy. He fuels my creativity, and more often than not becomes my partner in crime. He’s done every thing from dressing up as a character, to doing a “Well-Educated British guy voice” and even using his creative genius to record me trying to be a ballerina in my whacky videos.

So the show idea has recently become a dream for both of us.

FOR INSTANCE:  Nuggie and I decided that if we had a show about driving (in traffic), we could change the way the world drives and create an incredibly responsible and friendly race of driving humans. I admit, this is more my dream than Nuggie’s. BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT.

We came to this decision when we were in traffic, suffering at the hands of WAY too many horrible drivers. Trust me. I’ve said things like “You’re not the ONLY ONE HERE DUMBASS!” more than I’d care to admit. (you can tweet that)

Now, I’m about to share something highly proprietary here with you. If you decide to take this idea and run with it, it’s OKAY, as long as you pay me a creator and executive producer’s fee, and give me credit. Get ready to be dazzled:

We thought we should do a show like the old Mystery Science Theatre show, but in the car, while in traffic in L.A. We pictured us sitting there in the front seat, only the shadows of our heads visible, while an on board camera showed every STUPID, IDIOTIC maneuver by drivers around us. Our pithy, witty, hilarious comments about the friggin’ idiots on the road would unite and form a solid bond among people everywhere… all who’ve suffered the same miseries.

Maybe even driver training schools and traffic violations departments at police stations would use our show clips to teach people how NOT to drive. I was really excited about this, so I brought the camera on board one day.

Wouldn’t you know, every single driver was absolutely perfect on that day. We were prepared to unleash our witty wise-cracks on the dumbest, most idiotic drivers around, and there were none to be found. ZILCH! Each and every one of those people around us suddenly followed every driving law, used their turn signals and yielded when appropriate. Why be appropriate NOW? 

After a few tries, we decided that although it was a great idea, to produce such a show would be incredibly labor intensive and cost prohibitive. We’d have to commit to recording every single time we were in the car and collect and sift through so much footage, it would take us like, hours and hours to produce. We sighed, shrugged our shoulders and moved on to the next idea.

Like, maybe a show about how to get people to give you cool, free stuff. Man, if we had a show like that, all our problems would be OVER.

 

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Release the hounds

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RELEASE THE HOUNDS

 

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File this one under pure mischief and sheer utter silliness, you guys.

The other day Nuggie and I were out sampling the mixology at the Canal Club in Venice Beach (our new cool spot for happy hour), when a guy walked by our window with his Bassett Hound. I think Bassett Hounds may be an endangered species. Seriously. When was the last time you saw one?

As the guy walked by, I looked out the window and marveled. These dogs are actually pretty big dogs if you think about it. Their bodies are pretty large for those short, little legs.

SIDE NOTE: I was also sipping on the best Ginger Martini I’ve ever tasted (though it was really my first) and it packed a punch, so you won’t be surprised what happened next.

I said, “I wonder what Bassett Hounds would look like if they had longer legs?”

As often happens, M.C. Nugget was confused. “What do you mean? Like, what kind of animal?”

“No, I mean, what kind of dog would they look like? Do you think a Labrador?”

“Maybe,” he said. Then he stopped himself short and teased, “What? Are you getting out the lab coat again so you can find out? BRING IN THE LAB COAT!”

“I just might!” I defended. “Think about it! These dogs are very large for those little legs!”

We laughed and I continued:

“I couldn’t very well say ‘Release the Hounds’ with regular Bassett Hounds. They’d only mosey over and waddle to their prey.” (you can tweet that)

Release the Hounds

But hmm… longer legs…

I can’t wait to get my lab coat on and conduct the experiment.

If only I had a lab…or a coat.

TRUST ME: NO ANIMALS WERE, OR WILL EVER BE HARMED BY MS. CHEEVIOUS.

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Photo credit: megawump1 / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

If I were a drag queen

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IF I WERE A DRAG QUEEN

 

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I was talking to a friend Aaron the other day, reminiscing about some good times (times when we rocked this world working on music specials and award shows for MTV, and people gave us free stuff just because they thought we were cool). Oh wait. That still happens. Neither one of us works for MTV anymore, but you can’t erase our knack for fooling people into thinking we’re “cool.” I’m sure Aaron gets cool things like free address stickers and stuff mailed to him too, because he’s doing uber cool fashion shows for Tech-Week these days. And me? Well, YOU KNOW me.

But hey, over the years our priorities have shifted. Swear.to.god. Free address stickers and boxes of chocolates are just as cool as singing karaoke with celebrities or having access to box suites at the Kentucky Derby, the Super Bowl or other fun events.

Seriously though, he really is one of the coolest guys I know. Aaron is the guy who hired me on my first real-life television gig and regardless of the laughter and silliness, he is still one of the most highly respected men in the business. He’s legendary. He and I always joke that we should have a radio show because our hilarious telephone banter would be an immediate hit. I’m sure we’re just drunk with our own merriment, but it feels good to muse about.

The other day was no exception. Aaron was telling me one of the many funny stories from his days as a CBS paige when he was first starting out. I’ve heard most of these stories at one time or another, but I can’t be responsible to remember these things, and he has a knack for reeling me in with a new twist. Here’s how it went:

“Lisa, I worked on the lot next to where the show Solid Gold was shot. Remember Solid Gold?”

 

Oh my god. Yes! Too funny.

 

“I’ll never forget when the solid gold dancers would come filing out of their studio door.

 

LISA, they had a choreographer who had the best name for a drag queen. Her name was almost as good as Ms. Cheevious.”

HOLD UP.

WHAT?

 

Ms. Cheevious is NOT a drag queen name, Aaron!!!!!

 

“No, but think about it! It would be perfect.”

 

(pause)

 

Dammit, you’re right!

 

“But you know what her name was? Have I told you this before?”

 

Probably, but I can’t remember.

 

(pause)

(pause)

 

“You ready?” 

 

(pause)

 

“ANITA MANN.”

 

(pause)
“Say that out loud, Lisa.”

 

*laughs*

 

From CBS paige to drag queen names.

Ms. Cheevious’ name being enviable to drag queens.

These are the topics of life, people. These are the twists and turns in a conversation only possible between people like Aaron and I.

This is what I love about my life. People like Aaron.

But let me clarify this, ladies and gentlemen. If I were a drag queen…well… ANITA MANN.

I would want that to be my name.

Gay Pride March ~ Piccadilly, London

 

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photo credit:
Robert Croma / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)