IF I HAD ONE OUR PROBLEMS WOULD BE OVER
It’s probably no surprise to those who know me, but I think I should have my own television show. I THINK THIS OFTEN.
And it’s not that I believe I’m more talented than others with their own show or that I have an idea for a show that’s never been done (though that’s debatable). It’s simply because If I had a show, I could GET STUFF DONE.
I HAVE A DREAM.
It’s not only great to dream about making a difference (while creating and starring in your own show). It’s AWESOME to date someone who supports you in every zany idea. M.C. Nugget is that kind of guy. He fuels my creativity, and more often than not becomes my partner in crime. He’s done every thing from dressing up as a character, to doing a “Well-Educated British guy voice” and even using his creative genius to record me trying to be a ballerina in my whacky videos.
So the show idea has recently become a dream for both of us.
FOR INSTANCE: Nuggie and I decided that if we had a show about driving (in traffic), we could change the way the world drives and create an incredibly responsible and friendly race of driving humans. I admit, this is more my dream than Nuggie’s. BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT.
We came to this decision when we were in traffic, suffering at the hands of WAY too many horrible drivers. Trust me. I’ve said things like “You’re not the ONLY ONE HERE DUMBASS!” more than I’d care to admit. (you can tweet that)
Now, I’m about to share something highly proprietary here with you. If you decide to take this idea and run with it, it’s OKAY, as long as you pay me a creator and executive producer’s fee, and give me credit. Get ready to be dazzled:
We thought we should do a show like the old Mystery Science Theatre show, but in the car, while in traffic in L.A. We pictured us sitting there in the front seat, only the shadows of our heads visible, while an on board camera showed every STUPID, IDIOTIC maneuver by drivers around us. Our pithy, witty, hilarious comments about the friggin’ idiots on the road would unite and form a solid bond among people everywhere… all who’ve suffered the same miseries.
Maybe even driver training schools and traffic violations departments at police stations would use our show clips to teach people how NOT to drive. I was really excited about this, so I brought the camera on board one day.
Wouldn’t you know, every single driver was absolutely perfect on that day. We were prepared to unleash our witty wise-cracks on the dumbest, most idiotic drivers around, and there were none to be found. ZILCH! Each and every one of those people around us suddenly followed every driving law, used their turn signals and yielded when appropriate. Why be appropriate NOW?
After a few tries, we decided that although it was a great idea, to produce such a show would be incredibly labor intensive and cost prohibitive. We’d have to commit to recording every single time we were in the car and collect and sift through so much footage, it would take us like, hours and hours to produce. We sighed, shrugged our shoulders and moved on to the next idea.
Like, maybe a show about how to get people to give you cool, free stuff. Man, if we had a show like that, all our problems would be OVER.