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My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Boyfriend

I’m a GREAT mom. I SWEAR.

January 14, 2016 by MsCheevious

Me being a GREAT mom

#DailyMischief

Click to leave a reply

 

I’ve said this before… that my other boyfriend has 27 inches. It’s true. M.C. Nugget is TOTALLY in over his head… . And it’s not just because of the size. I become entranced when I’m with my other guy. I only have eyes for him. Everyone around me just disappears. And all things considered, Nuggie is actually pretty great with all this, even though I don’t even know if he’s in the same room when I’m with my 27 inch-er…

I guess you could say Nuggie and I have an “open relationship” when it comes to this.

If you’re new, I’m sorry. You think I’m a total sleaze. Well… Pfff! I probably am… but don’t get your g-string in a bunch (if that’s even possible). The other boyfriend I’m talking about is my Big Screen (otherwise known as my 27″ iMac computer).

I’m about to go around the block to get next door with a little story here, but if you want the short version, scroll down past the TOTALLY interesting story just below.. you won’t miss a THING. Swear.To.God.


I’ve always had a love affair with technology, dating back to listening to my transistor radio by the neighborhood pool when I was six. And  I’m pretty good at all things “techno.” Have you seen my “Techno-Babe Moments” videos? When I first married my ex-husband, I was 23. He took me to his family’s cabin in the woods (and by cabin, I mean a luxury home with a full-sized washer, dryer, two bathrooms, satellite TV and telephone service inside). Though it had all the luxuries of home, the place was secluded in a breathtaking mountain valley known as Pearl Lakes, CO, Upon arrival I learned their satellite TV was broken. It was an old-fashioned satellite, straight out of the 80’s… A giant dish sat outside their living room window, and it required dish owners to “subscribe” to various services that had satellites floating up in space. Many of them were free, some were not. They had names like Galaxy19, Telstar and so on. My ex’s family hadn’t been able to watch TV since just after the guy installed it and someone in the family tried to change the position of the satellite to watch something. All they saw was snow. So, my first day there, against warnings that I would light the thing on fire by the end of the day, I sat, undeterred, communing with the piece of equipment. I had it working within about an hour and I’d never used one of those things in my life.

I’m just sayin’…


So, the other day, I was thinking about my son Graden, when he was about six or seven and we lived in our condo in Los Angeles. He was (and still is) brilliant and resourceful, and he quickly found ways to reach me through the deep, magnetic pull of my computer screen (though back then it was probably only about 12 inches). Poor kid was forced to be resourceful if he wanted to eat (it was all a part my plan to train him for the apocalypse).

One of the first ways he did this went something like this:

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

…..

…..

“LISA!!!”

 

I immediately heard him, snapped out of it, felt guilty and ran to his side.

This reaction greatly pleased Graden. The heavens opened up and the angels did sing on that day.

But that was IT. My life of peaceful communion with my computer was over. Graden started getting creative with things like yelling, or singing made up songs with my name in it, even grabbing my sleeve with his construction clamp-y toy.

This did not bode well for either of us.

Pull me away from “work” accidentally? Okay. But start devising ways to pull me away from my work to say “hi,” “what are you doing?” or any other random statement… uh… NO.

At the same time, I’m not a horrible person.

No, really.

I actually understood my little guy’s need for mommy time and attention, even if I was working (yes… yes… I actually did work from home then).

So, we came up with a system.

I sat down with him on his bed, snuggled him, looked him sweetly and deeply in the eyes and explained that mommies need to have other people and things in their lives too. That my computer was a way for me to provide a roof over his head. That if he continued to interrupt in such a way, we would be sleeping on the street in a cardboard box very soon, and did he want that to happen? No, of course he didn’t. I also let him know that he had no reason to be jealous… just because the computer obeyed me every single time and made my life easier, it wasn’t his fault… and he had no reason to feel threatened, or afraid. It really was HIM that I loved.

I Really DO Love My Son More Than My Computer

You can tweet something like that above, by clicking HERE.

So, I pulled out a white sheet of paper, and I told him that if he ever REALLY NEEDED to pull me away from my work… from my ability to keep us from living on the street, he could QUIETLY slip that baby in front of the computer screen.

I further educated him on situations when this interruption was appropriate:

a fire

an accident involving my vodka

a flood

an earthquake.

This actually worked pretty well. Poor little Graden. He still does this to this day.

He’s 20.

JUST KIDDING! I’m a GREAT mom!

But when I remembered this the other day, I immediately texted him. These are fond memories for me. So our text went something like this:

 

Kids say the darndest things

Kids say the damnedest things, don’t they?! You see?? I’m not such a horrible mom. Look how long it took HIM to respond!!!!

 

I know, I know. The cliche’s don’t escape me (they never do): The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, You reap what you sow, etc. etc. etc.

Until next time, people!

 

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Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Daily Mischief, Uncategorized Tagged With: #dailymischief, 80's, Boyfriend, daily mischief, Galaxy19, Horrible mom, iMac, M.C. Nugget, Ms. Cheevious, Nuggie, satellite tv, techno, Technology, Telstar

Stop questioning my motives

July 28, 2014 by MsCheevious

STOP QUESTIONING MY MOTIVES

#DailyNugget
The photo says it all. Enough already.

Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road?

 

~ The Nugget

 

(I cannot tell a lie. I got this from the awesome-cool page on Facebook The Mind Unleashed)

 


Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

Filed Under: Daily Nugget Tagged With: #DailyNugget, Boyfriend, Chicken, Chicken crossed the road, Chicken motives, Daily Nugget, EmceeNug, M.C. Nugget, Ms. Cheevious, MsCheevious

Here’s what we’ll call ourselves

September 4, 2013 by MsCheevious

Hey, do you remember the time I told you how my rote memory was going, and I almost went to the bathroom while my sexy undies were still on? Lord knows you should. It was only yesterday. Hey, I don’t blame you if you don’t remember. You should know it’s a personal rule for me to always answer no first and correct myself later when asked these types of questions. It’s safer.

You wouldn’t be out of line to question what this has to do with the smokin’ hot image of Victoria & David Beckham here. You’re extremely clever. But I’ll give you my reason very soon. I promise.

Where were we?  My rote memory was shot…

But I have to apologize before continuing because I withheld an important piece of information from you when I relayed that story. So there was that thing… the almost tinkling in a perfectly lovely pair of undies thing. And then there was this: A little while later I showed up A DAY EARLY to my prospective literary agent’s backyard barbecue.

The list of things which ruffle my feathers may elude you, because I don’t always share what really gets my goat (crosses fingers behind back). But watch me schlep my primped, made up, dressed up and fussed over bohiney into the “city” (because more than a mile east of the beach is the city) for an affair that requires I wear anything other than my pajamas or my workout clothes, A DAY EARLY, and suddenly I’m doing a BIG REVEAL:

FEATHERS SUFFICIENTLY RUFFLED.

Even worse is the fact that I couldn’t proclaim as I’d always envisioned in moments like this “Heads Will Roll.” These proclamations are no good to ones self. And my head rolling around is not on the other list. You know, the bucket list. So, that was out.

Nuggie and I looked fabulous too, all summery and coiffed, bearing one of my famously beautiful salads.

Fab Salad

When my agent’s husband answered the door with, “You’re a day early,” I thought he had a very dry sense of humor.

I was wrong.

So, we laughed and joked, and I amazed myself with just how GREAT I am at throwing out statements to make everyone else feel better in an awkward moment. I rattled off with turrets-like finesse something like “Thank GOD we had the wrong day. We weren’t going to be able to stay long because of three other parties we have to go to!”

I’d like to stop here to remind you of an important thing:  When I die, if you come to my funeral, you can now stand up and say “She was an incredibly talented liar, but she used her talents for good.”

My agent (and I call her that, because you know, mind over matter) was very kind and said we looked so fabulous, and even asked us to wear the same thing the next day.

When we showed up in pretty much the same clothes the next day, we were having a ball meeting an entirely different group of people…

But then it happened.

Not one or two, but three separate people asked basically the same question about Nuggie and I.

It went something like this:

Are you two married?

Oh no, we’re not…

Ahhh… Are you together? How long have you been together?

Five years… We live together.

So, what are you to each other?

  – OR – What do you call yourselves?

We’re dating

 – OR – We’re boyfriend and girlfriend

To which came a reply something like this: 

Dahhhhling, if you live together you are no longer “dating” are you?

   – OR – Boyfriend and girlfriend is for children, isn’t it?  

 

So the polite versions of Nuggie and I (as opposed to the fun-loving, sarcastic, tipsy versions we prefer in these instances) obliged our new friends with talk of terminology:  life-partners, domestic partners, the “ers” of the day.

I feel like we missed an opportunity.

We were at this party for the SECOND time and we couldn’t come back with something clever.

Next time, I’m going to open up the vaults and tell them what I should have said all along:  “We’re LOVE SLAVES….

CO-love slaves.”

(THIS IS WHERE I tell you the reason for using the sexy photo of Victoria and David Beckham above)

And that’s not too far from the truth. Ask Nuggie how often I call him “the boss of me.” He accepts the position with pride.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Daily Mischief Tagged With: Agent, backyard barbecue, Boyfriend, co-love slaves, couples, Dating, girlfriend, literary, literary agent, love slaves, party, salad

The Big Reveal

April 20, 2009 by MsCheevious

Here it is folks!

You are FINALLY being treated to the real and true identity of my boyfriend!

Watch and learn!

If you can’t view the screen above, go here:
The Big Reveal

Tune in next week when I actually dish on my Boss (Springsteen) experience! 

Love you people! Mmmmmphhhuhhhh!

xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious

[digg=http://digg.com/celebrity/The_Big_Reveal_2]

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

 

Filed Under: Blogroll, Dating, Entertainment, Girls Gone Wild, Hip Chicks, Hot Moms, MILF, Single Moms Tagged With: Boyfriend, Fred the Wonder Chicken, M.C. Nugget, Tootsie Roll

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