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techno

I’m a GREAT mom. I SWEAR.

January 14, 2016 by MsCheevious

Me being a GREAT mom

#DailyMischief

Click to leave a reply

 

I’ve said this before… that my other boyfriend has 27 inches. It’s true. M.C. Nugget is TOTALLY in over his head… . And it’s not just because of the size. I become entranced when I’m with my other guy. I only have eyes for him. Everyone around me just disappears. And all things considered, Nuggie is actually pretty great with all this, even though I don’t even know if he’s in the same room when I’m with my 27 inch-er…

I guess you could say Nuggie and I have an “open relationship” when it comes to this.

If you’re new, I’m sorry. You think I’m a total sleaze. Well… Pfff! I probably am… but don’t get your g-string in a bunch (if that’s even possible). The other boyfriend I’m talking about is my Big Screen (otherwise known as my 27″ iMac computer).

I’m about to go around the block to get next door with a little story here, but if you want the short version, scroll down past the TOTALLY interesting story just below.. you won’t miss a THING. Swear.To.God.


I’ve always had a love affair with technology, dating back to listening to my transistor radio by the neighborhood pool when I was six. And  I’m pretty good at all things “techno.” Have you seen my “Techno-Babe Moments” videos? When I first married my ex-husband, I was 23. He took me to his family’s cabin in the woods (and by cabin, I mean a luxury home with a full-sized washer, dryer, two bathrooms, satellite TV and telephone service inside). Though it had all the luxuries of home, the place was secluded in a breathtaking mountain valley known as Pearl Lakes, CO, Upon arrival I learned their satellite TV was broken. It was an old-fashioned satellite, straight out of the 80’s… A giant dish sat outside their living room window, and it required dish owners to “subscribe” to various services that had satellites floating up in space. Many of them were free, some were not. They had names like Galaxy19, Telstar and so on. My ex’s family hadn’t been able to watch TV since just after the guy installed it and someone in the family tried to change the position of the satellite to watch something. All they saw was snow. So, my first day there, against warnings that I would light the thing on fire by the end of the day, I sat, undeterred, communing with the piece of equipment. I had it working within about an hour and I’d never used one of those things in my life.

I’m just sayin’…


So, the other day, I was thinking about my son Graden, when he was about six or seven and we lived in our condo in Los Angeles. He was (and still is) brilliant and resourceful, and he quickly found ways to reach me through the deep, magnetic pull of my computer screen (though back then it was probably only about 12 inches). Poor kid was forced to be resourceful if he wanted to eat (it was all a part my plan to train him for the apocalypse).

One of the first ways he did this went something like this:

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

“Mom!”

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

….. (pause… )

…..

…..

“LISA!!!”

 

I immediately heard him, snapped out of it, felt guilty and ran to his side.

This reaction greatly pleased Graden. The heavens opened up and the angels did sing on that day.

But that was IT. My life of peaceful communion with my computer was over. Graden started getting creative with things like yelling, or singing made up songs with my name in it, even grabbing my sleeve with his construction clamp-y toy.

This did not bode well for either of us.

Pull me away from “work” accidentally? Okay. But start devising ways to pull me away from my work to say “hi,” “what are you doing?” or any other random statement… uh… NO.

At the same time, I’m not a horrible person.

No, really.

I actually understood my little guy’s need for mommy time and attention, even if I was working (yes… yes… I actually did work from home then).

So, we came up with a system.

I sat down with him on his bed, snuggled him, looked him sweetly and deeply in the eyes and explained that mommies need to have other people and things in their lives too. That my computer was a way for me to provide a roof over his head. That if he continued to interrupt in such a way, we would be sleeping on the street in a cardboard box very soon, and did he want that to happen? No, of course he didn’t. I also let him know that he had no reason to be jealous… just because the computer obeyed me every single time and made my life easier, it wasn’t his fault… and he had no reason to feel threatened, or afraid. It really was HIM that I loved.

I Really DO Love My Son More Than My Computer

You can tweet something like that above, by clicking HERE.

So, I pulled out a white sheet of paper, and I told him that if he ever REALLY NEEDED to pull me away from my work… from my ability to keep us from living on the street, he could QUIETLY slip that baby in front of the computer screen.

I further educated him on situations when this interruption was appropriate:

a fire

an accident involving my vodka

a flood

an earthquake.

This actually worked pretty well. Poor little Graden. He still does this to this day.

He’s 20.

JUST KIDDING! I’m a GREAT mom!

But when I remembered this the other day, I immediately texted him. These are fond memories for me. So our text went something like this:

 

Kids say the darndest things

Kids say the damnedest things, don’t they?! You see?? I’m not such a horrible mom. Look how long it took HIM to respond!!!!

 

I know, I know. The cliche’s don’t escape me (they never do): The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, You reap what you sow, etc. etc. etc.

Until next time, people!

 

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Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Daily Mischief, Uncategorized Tagged With: #dailymischief, 80's, Boyfriend, daily mischief, Galaxy19, Horrible mom, iMac, M.C. Nugget, Ms. Cheevious, Nuggie, satellite tv, techno, Technology, Telstar

Techno-Babe Moments Anyone?

September 14, 2011 by MsCheevious

So I started these Techno Babe moments.  I don’t think I shared them with everyone, except perhaps on Facebook.  Anyway, I started doing this, because – well, I’m known for being a bit of a GEEK.  Yup.  You heard it here.

GEEK.

But seriously.  The cool thing about MY techno-babe moments is that they will strip away the fear and mystique from such Techy acronyms as U-R-L, and bring the TRUE meaning of “I need more RAM” into focus!  I’ll make it so simple, even your granny who still swears by the paper-back version of her yellow pages, will become a techno babe!  It’s true.  My techno babe moments do NOT discriminate.

So here it is. My first ever, Techno-Babe Moment – where I analyze in VERY EASY TERMS, the iPhone app called “ANTI-MOUSTIQUE” (an “app” is something that makes the iPhone (or other products made by that company – APPLE) be able to tell you things, or do things for you, so that other people think you are really smart or very cool).  ANTI-MOUSTIQUE professes, when it is on and activated, to emit a sound frequency that insects – mostly mosquitos – cannot handle.  When hearing this frequency, insects are suppose to FLEA (ha ha – no pun intended) – I mean, FLEE.  I tested it.  And you can trust me.  I’m a BUG magnate.

Check it out please.  And please go to YOUTUBE, subscribe to my channel and posts comments. Let’s tell the WORLD about this AWESOME new show of mine called Techno-Babe Moments! 🙂

And if your browser or email (for subscribers) doesn’t allow for you to SEE this AWESOME youtube window here… Well, use your little mousy-thingy and point it at the underlined text below – then CLICK (it’s the stuff right below here that looks like a bunch of math code or something):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=_cyOtnczP1E

And it looks like this:

Techno Babe!

There you are!  YAY!  You are fast on your way to joining me in TECHNO-BABE BLISS.

That’s it people!  Have a FABULOUS week, and don’t BYTE off more than you can chew!  (Yuck yuck…)

Love you people!!!! MMMMMPHHHUUUHHHH!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Blogroll, Hip Chicks, Product Reviews, Reviews - General, Technology, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alex Beroza, Anti-Moustique, App, Apps, Babe, iPhone, Strike the Root, techno, Techno-Babe

Beach Bar Bouncing

March 20, 2009 by MsCheevious

This week I’m gonna’ give you a little somethin’ somethin’ to help launch you – full board – into Spring.

Fred the Wonder Chicken had a friend in town from Pennsylvania last week.  That guy is one big FUN event after another waiting to happen!  He was like the Ever Ready Bunny (or is it Energizer Bunny?) of good times! 

Now, I’m only telling you this, because I know some of you think I am a goodie two-shoes.  Well, I’m not.  Okay? Let me set the record straight. 

I am cool.  I am a bad ass, dancing fool.  I love to get out, flutter around the bar or restaurant, say hello to everyone, and if necessary, cause trouble.

So, guess what?  FWC, his Pennsylvania trouble making friend and I got kicked out of a bar on Saturday night.  Yup! Me, Ms. Cheevious – the Goodie Two-Shoes of Los Angeles got BOUNCED from a BEACH BAR! 

Okay, so to hear them tell it, I gotta’ say (because it sounds better), that our departure from the premises was a mutual decision between the management and our party.

But here’s the low down: 

We all know how I like to get my groove on, right?  Well, I was the one who begged to go to this particular dance club on Main Street in Santa Monica.  It just looked cool.  From the outside it looked like I could groove all night long, and love every minute of it.  But looks can obviously be deceiving. 

As the evening progressed, and I was dancing, minding my own business, having a nice little time – the music began to get progressively more difficult to dance to. It became sort of that whole “techno” music vibe. I hate techno.  I hate dancing to it. You can’t sing to it.  What is the point?  I think techno was invented to drive people crazy, and make them want to kill themselves.

So after a few songs that all sounded exactly the same, with that same stupid, annoying beat, and after I’d had a few cocktails, I approached the DJ to ask if I could request a song.  

That was the first mistake. 

He was NOT happy I was asking.  As a matter of fact, he was just plain mean about it.  To my surprise, however, he managed to growl in his cockney, British accent, “What you want to hear?” 

So – have I told you that I am blond?  Of course I have – to those of you veterans, reading this.  But to you new folks – have I told you that I’m blond?  🙂

I could be convinced to REALLY think it is something in the dye.  I’m sure there is some way for it to seep into the brain – and right at the moment when you are trying to pull up something really clever, it steals your thoughts from you.  Gone. 

Particularly on days when you’ve just had your hair done.  Saturday was one such day for me.

So, I stuttered and stammered a bit, before blurting out, “Brittany?” only to feel the urge to dodge a spit wad from the guy.  He was that kinda guy.   “NO!  I’m NOT PLAYING ANY BRITTANY!” 

Ya’d think the guy would at least have a smile on his face as he rejected me, especially since he was jabbing a sharp, steal blade into my soul with his evil eyes.  But no.  This guy was ANGRY. 

So, of course I thought I just had to do better.  So, what did I suggest?  “Madonna?” 

That was the second mistake.

Can you  BLAME ME?  I am BLOND, I had some drinks, and in trying to be COOL for the COOL BRITISH BLAH BLAH DJ, I was just pulling up anyone out there that I knew had a new album out! 

“I’M NOT PLAYING MADONNA!  NO! GET OUT OF HERE.  GO AWAAYYY.” 

So, have you ever seen a baby deer – a doe, freeze in front of a car?   You know how they get those big saucer eyes? 

Well, that was me, after being punished by the DJ.  Only my eyes welled up with tears to boot.  HA HA!  What a wimp! 

I moped back over to our little corner, and immediately Fred the Wonder Chicken knew something was wrong.  I told him what had happened, and before I could say anything he jumped up to go tell that guy how to talk to a lady.  My hero! Awe!  Ummmy, yummmmy!!!

I suppose push came to shove, (not literally), but FWC – after calling the guy a “DICK” or something of the sort – asked to speak to the manager.  Guess what?  The DJ just so happened to be the manager.

So, as we were leaving, with a couple of nicely dressed bouncers kindly walking alongside us, we made sure to say how sorry we were that they had to work for that DJ – and as FWC put it, “Such a DICK.”  One of the bouncers said to me, “Tell me about it.” 

So, I got bounced from a bar – but have a great story to tell because of it!

I hope you all get out there this Spring, get your grooves on, and get bounced from a beach bar as well!  Ha ha – Jussssst kidddddding!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmmpphhuuuhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Filed Under: Blogroll, Dating, Entertainment, Girls Gone Wild, Hip Chicks, Hot Moms Tagged With: Beach, dance club, dancing, techno

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