Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Techno-Babe Moments Anyone?

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So I started these Techno Babe moments.  I don’t think I shared them with everyone, except perhaps on Facebook.  Anyway, I started doing this, because – well, I’m known for being a bit of a GEEK.  Yup.  You heard it here.

GEEK.

But seriously.  The cool thing about MY techno-babe moments is that they will strip away the fear and mystique from such Techy acronyms as U-R-L, and bring the TRUE meaning of “I need more RAM” into focus!  I’ll make it so simple, even your granny who still swears by the paper-back version of her yellow pages, will become a techno babe!  It’s true.  My techno babe moments do NOT discriminate.

So here it is. My first ever, Techno-Babe Moment – where I analyze in VERY EASY TERMS, the iPhone app called “ANTI-MOUSTIQUE” (an “app” is something that makes the iPhone (or other products made by that company – APPLE) be able to tell you things, or do things for you, so that other people think you are really smart or very cool).  ANTI-MOUSTIQUE professes, when it is on and activated, to emit a sound frequency that insects – mostly mosquitos – cannot handle.  When hearing this frequency, insects are suppose to FLEA (ha ha – no pun intended) – I mean, FLEE.  I tested it.  And you can trust me.  I’m a BUG magnate.

Check it out please.  And please go to YOUTUBE, subscribe to my channel and posts comments. Let’s tell the WORLD about this AWESOME new show of mine called Techno-Babe Moments! 🙂

And if your browser or email (for subscribers) doesn’t allow for you to SEE this AWESOME youtube window here… Well, use your little mousy-thingy and point it at the underlined text below – then CLICK (it’s the stuff right below here that looks like a bunch of math code or something):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=_cyOtnczP1E

And it looks like this:

Techno Babe!

There you are!  YAY!  You are fast on your way to joining me in TECHNO-BABE BLISS.

That’s it people!  Have a FABULOUS week, and don’t BYTE off more than you can chew!  (Yuck yuck…)

Love you people!!!! MMMMMPHHHUUUHHHH!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

The Great Costco Food Sample Incident

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I’m going to share with you a little incident that ACTUALLY occurred at my friendly neighborhood Costo recently.  The names and characters’ names have been changed – only because I don’t know them. If I did, these slime balls would be listed right here with mug-shots, their phone numbers, emails and home addresses (just kidding… but a girl can dream).

After patiently waiting to get a hot tasty morsel of free food at Costco (from one of the sample cart people),  and,  after waiting through the first whole batch the woman had produced, because the line was THAT long, (and also because in the previous batch, certain SOMEONES ran up to the front of the line, just as the samples were coming out, IGNORING the long line formed by we POLITE folks, and grabbed up all the yummy stuff)… After all that, while I STILL waited patiently in line, some sneak-meister lady came up and began chatting up our sample lady!  I knew immediately what this bitch was up to.  She was hungry, like all the rest of us, and yet, rather than wait in line – LIKE ALL THE REST OF US, and LIKE GOOD PEOPLE DO – she thought she’d put on a little side-show to distract the cart lady, and somehow thought this would fool us.  She probably did fool a few of the people in line, sadly.

Which begs the question, “Why was I in line with fools?” and then the question,  “Why are they fools?” Well, I was in line because the cart woman had been polite enough to say she was sorry we waited in line and the first samples ran out, and that more would be ready in a jiff.

By acknowleding that we’d been there waiting in line, she immediately made STANDING IN LINE imperative.

Why were the other people in line with me fools?  Well they would have been if they just stood there and did nothing while they were about to be taken for a second time. I know some of you.  You’re sharp too, and you’re thinking ‘why fault the bee-otch for thinking outside of the box and getting the food before it was all gone again?’  I’ll tell you why.  BECAUSE I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO and this goombah butt-ugly chick was threatening to prove ONCE AGAIN that it DOESN’T PAY to follow any sort of social graces!  If everyone did what she did, we already know what would happen: only the stronger, nastier, fatter (there is almost ALWAYS someone fatter), meaner, more-muscular people would survive.  They’d claw and climb their way to get the freebie, simply because that’s the way it was done, leaving the elderly, frail, young, short (there is almost always someone shorter), light-weight, kind, polite people behind in the dust.

But if everyone would just stand in that line of  – oh – what – FIVE FRIGGIN’ PEOPLE – then everyone would get their little tiny bite in due time. But NOOOO.  And THAT, my friends is the reason everyone in this FRIGGIN’ COUNTRY IS OBESE!  But I digress.

So, what did I do?  I’ll tell you.

I stepped out of that line and LURCHED at that woman.

I THREW my overly strong and large-for-my-size hands  (I know this because my piano teachers all said so) around her Baptist looking neck, and I SQUEEZED  — HARD.  I clenched my teeth and said as I felt the air trying to pass through her neck, “Feel free to chat this woman up as long as you like.  But if you think you’re getting one of those samples without waiting in line, like all these other good folks have been doing, well, I’ll snap this pretty little neck of yours in two seconds.” Immediately, the people in line began to clap and cheer.  They chimed in with things like “YEAH!” “THAT’S RIGHT!” and “YOU GO GIRL!”  I even heard a “That woman did NOT just DO THAT!!”

I continued as I regained my composure, released the woman, and stepped back in line, ” We complain that the kids in this country are getting worse – more and more violent, indecent, stupid – whatever – as each year passes… and we wonder why? It’s because of LOW LIFES like you who think they’re the only ones that exist on this planet, and selfishly take-take-take, regardless of who else was ahead of them! You teach kids that everything they’ve been taught, including common decency, isn’t NECESSARY! Well, I’M here to tell you that it IS!”

More “Yeah!”s and “That’s Right!”s from my little line gang before I continued, “YOU are the reason our country is in the PISS poor shape it’s in, lady.  So GET A CLUE, GET IN LINE or go live somewhere else.”  I breathed in as the cheers, pats on the back, smiles and women waiting for me to hold their babies continued… before…

It was back to REALITY.

What actually happend was, I simply said loudly, “I HOPE she doesn’t think she’s getting a sample ahead of us without getting in line?  Does she?”  Turning to my other line members. One supported me by rolling her eyes in the woman’s general direction for all to see, another huffed and shrugged, and one very brave lady chimed in “I sure HOPE NOT!”  That was really all we needed.  Oh the joy of being heard, and oh how great it feels to instill FEAR into the heart and mind of a perpetrator!  HA!

So let this be a lesson to you:  Step outta line (in more ways than one) around Ms. Cheevious, and you WILL suffer the consequences. You have been warned.

But honestly people, it’s just WRONG to conduct ourselves so EGOTISTICALLY, as if we are the only ones affected.  Everyone else suffers when we do. What you do affects others.

THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DO and adjust your actions so others (we) don’t have to pick up your slack.  Would ya? PRETTY PLEASE?

If you do, you’ll feel better as you come to realize — ‘GEE, I WON’T DIE IF I MAKE OTHERS MY EQUAL & BEHAVE GRACIOUSLY’… and it will sure as hell make the world a better place!

That’s it for now peeps!  Now go out there an make the world a BETTER place!  Would you please?

Love you people!!! Mmmmmphuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious


Irish Whiskey A Go Go

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Or should I say – to go – go. I was recently visiting my home town of Albuquerque, New Mexico. With that trip came a few facebook posts and emails from old friends who wished to reconnect while I was in town. One of those was my old friend, and former jazz (everything) guitarist / accompanist Strings McGillicuddy (for you newbies, I change the names of all my peeps to secure their privacy – and hide their Shenanigans too! But in case you want to hire him to play at your establishment or event in or around New Mexico – well his real name is TIM – ha ha. But for the purposes of this blog, He’s STRINGS baby). Strings had recently connected with me on Facebook and seen a posted photo of a glass of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey (one of my favorites).  When he found out I’d be back in town, he challenged me to a blind taste test of Irish whiskeys. So we did it.  We met at Two Fools Tavern – known (according to Strings) for it’s wide selection of Irish Whiskey, and also known for having food that is not your ordinary Irish Pub food.  Better.

Well, you KNOW I said yes – and – well –  BRING IT ON.  Here’s the video (oh!  and one of Strings M’s songs is the soundtrack for the video!!!):

And here is the link:  http://youtu.be/zTjUbX3OqWc

I’d really love if you’d join YOUTUBE and GET INTO THE 21ST CENTURY!!  That way you can post comments there, and subscribe to these videos! Doing this will help me to one day be able to quit my day job and live off my youtube production!  🙂  YAY! So be a doll or champ, would ya?  Go to YOUTUBE and SIGN UP, SUBSCRIBE to my videos, and post five or six comments each.  Comment on other comments.  Get involved!! I promise I will share the wealth – mwaaah ha ha ha!

That’s it for now!  The video speaks for itself!  Be sure to read all the credits to see the wonderful people that helped make the video!

Have a wonderful week everyone!  We’ve got some great footage to edit of our Costa Rica trip – and you won’t BELIEVE what happened!  HA! That’s coming soon.  Stay tuned…

Love you people!!!  Mmmmpppphhhuuuhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Subscribe to me on Youtube. (Then please also “like” and “favorite” my videos! YAY!)

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Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Are Hot Bodies Dead?

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I only ask this question because I finally completely my SPX Fitness training, and was officially added to the schedule at the renowned founding studio in West Hollywood. This guy, Sebastien Lagree, has more press from making celebrity hotties look fabulous than many a-list movie stars!

Anyhoo, I was added to the schedule last Saturday, and as of today – my grand debut taking place in just a few short hours –  still no one has booked one of my classes!  A brief perusal of the schedule revealed that there are many classes with no one in them – or so it seems. I wrote it off to people not wanting to commit – so “L.A.”  They’ll just show up knowing if there are 10 slots available it’s a good chance they’ll get into the class.

Meanwhile, I wrote to another teacher on the schedule – one that I enjoy taking her classes – to let her know I was now teaching. What I got was a response from an annoyed individual who has trouble filling her own classes. She saw my addition to the schedule as “cutting in to her pay.”

Now.  This was ME she was talking to.  She may as well have been speaking Russian.  I just don’t understand the mentality.  I got on the schedule, and the first thing I did was spend several hours designing a flier and event for Facebook. Then I spent MY OWN MONEY promoting it with an ad to people who are interested in fitness.  This may sound foreign to fitness professionals (“What? Promote your classes with your own money?”), and I suppose it is a little “outside of the box,” but it’s only natural for me.  You don’t make the big bucks or succeed at some things by merely waiting for the people to show up.  You have to put yourself “OUT THERE.”  Ya know?

I have to admit, however, the entire process had me second-guessing what people are after these days.  My mind went to all sorts of scary, frightening places, like ‘perhaps people don’t care if they are fat and unhealthy these days…’ or ‘maybe “FAT” is the new 30’, and this great gem, ‘maybe my jokes about being Jabba have been taken seriously, and the minions are following too closely — too literally…’  (trust me — my brain will go places I have no control over some times).

But after much thought and deliberation I have to conclude that NO – hot bodies are NOT DEAD.  They are alive and well and thriving — especially in the US, and even more so in Los Angeles!  People desperately want to be fit, healthy, good looking and feeling fine.  They WANT to be able to go into a store and fit into the most fashionable clothes with ease — and look GOOD in them.  I have to believe there are still people out there who WILL take my class because — well — great minds and bodies think alike.  Ya know?  (Inserting obligatory disclaimer here — SOMEONE will take offense or think I am being narcissistic — No. I am not saying “Oh! Look at Me!  I have a great mind and a great body, and if you do too, you’ll take my class!”  No.  I have lived a life with plenty of lessons that have finally brought me to the place of being comfortable in my own skin, and proud of the hard work and the intricate journey my life has taken me on. It’s not for whimps, this life stuff, but I tell ya, if you can find a way to enjoy it, and be HAPPY with who you are, always striving to be who you want to be, and never letting go of your dreams and goals – well then life’s difficulties tend to fade.  So, do I think I have a great mind?  It has its moments, but I’m partial.  Do I think I have a great body? I’m doing alright.  It’s more about what others say, and express to me… that they want what I have… and I am a marketing person – I listen to the pundits).

Well anyway, the other instructor also said people would probably show up to my class tonight on the fly – which is what I suspected.  Stay tuned.

Here are the ads, and promo photos I posted on the FaceBook events I added.  I said “Get Your Six Pack Here”… because HEY, that IS what you’ll get!

I hope you are inspired to get in, stay in and be thrilled about your SHAPE people.  This is what makes life – and the “enjoying every moment” part – worth living!

And if you live in Los Angeles and would like to attend my Tuesday and Thursday night classes, well feel free to check out the details here.

Have a wonderful week my lovely fitness fiends!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Random LA Coolness

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This week you are being treated to a very rare type of post for me, in which I provide a list of items and briefly touch on them.  Rare, because I am quite verbose, and hey – I can’t say it all in a numbered list.  Also, I don’t really organize my thoughts like that.  Usually, something cool happens and I want to tell you all the details about the event, or the trip or whatever.  I don’t like to keep people guessing about what happened, which is bound to happen when I simply “touch” on things.   But alas, I do it from time to time,  to give you all a break!  Let’s be honest here, no one has time to read all this sh*t, right?  Everyone and their friggin’ MOTHER has a blog now.  How are you lovely people suppose to keep up?  HA.

If you are new here, WELCOME!  My blog is FUN, exciting, and dances along life’s edge, to say the least.  I talk about sex, drugs, rock-n-roll.  You name it!  But not so much this week.  It’s a LIST.  Hard to be edgy when you are taking inventory!

So, I observed or participated in some cool things this week.  Some of these cool things deserve more attention, and perhaps they’ll get their due another time, but until then, ENJOY my list of Random Coolness everyone! 

1. I love it when my man Emcee Nugget suggests something to do, we do it, and we have a cool LA-style event land right in our laps. And – ehem – didn’t I just say last week that something would land in my lap and I would share with you?  Well, don’t ever say I don’t deliver. We went to his neighborhood wine bar, Salute (it’s pronounced Salu-tay), and low and behold there was a super chic, model-infested fashion show about to start.  Not only did we not know about it in advance, but because we got there early, we didn’t have to pay to get in, we got the most FANTASTIC seats at the bar (just where the runway ended), and we were SURROUNDED by sheer gorgeousness and the coolest fashions of the season!  Top THAT!  Ha!

2.  Froggy’s Fish Market in Topanga Canyon is super COOL.  It’s tucked away near the top of Topanga Canyon (above Malibu) and has really cool outdoor seating.  We were there at night, and it felt like we were in the woods someplace else.  You could hear crickets in the trees, and as we were walking to our cars, we looked up and could see a starry sky alongside a gorgeous crescent moon. Very cool, people!

3. The pilates style work out I do is exceptional.  Originally founded by Sebastien Lagree and called Pilates Plus (now called SPX Fitness), it uses what he then called a Proformer (a seriously modified reformer, if you know pilates machines at all)  to work your ass off (no pun intended) for about 50 minutes a class – and all while rockin’ out to pumping music.  They are opening up all over the country and the world.  Check his website to see if there is one near you.  I go about five times a week to the Pilates Plus HBV (Hollywood, Brentwood & Venice).  I love it!  The result?  Well, supposedly, long lean muscles and loss of cellulite.  I think that’s happening, but all I really know for sure is something killer is happening to my abs, and I am liking the shape my body’s taking.  THAT my friends (to actually LIKE your body), is very cool. 

4. Walking in L.A.  It’s uber cool, because, as Missing Persons once sang:  “Nobody walks in LA!”  But M.C. and I do it all the time!  That’s right!  We walk from his apartment to the Library Alehouse, then to the bar at the World Cafe, then to the bar at Chaya Venice (whatever we are in the mood for – sometimes many more), heh heh.  But seriously – that’s why I love Main Street, Santa Monica.  You really can walk just about anywhere.  We walk to the beach, to the Santa Monica Pier, or along Main Street for shopping, etc.  Sweet.

And that’s all folks!  Those are ALL the things that are randomly cool in LA.  Nothing else is cool.  At least not here and now.

Stay tuned next week, where I’ll try to dispatch from NYC and share whatever interesting events take place.  M.C. and I are flying out on Saturday.

Have a beautiful weekend my lovelies!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!

xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Ms. Cheevious En Masse

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Apologies to my email subscribers in advance, for this extra post.  I know it only adds to the increasing number of unimportant emails in your inboxes, but I promise I would NOT have sent this if I didn’t think you might want to know about this.

It’s finally happened people. Ms. Cheevious has hit the internet, en masse.  I am now nestled quite comfortably within the annals of history because a great guy and incredible PR professional (and well, my – ehem – at times – zany antics), who decided to put me in his spotlight (albeit for a moment). 

Levine Breaking News, which is read by over 300,000 people worldwide, requested that I be their “FaceSpace” person a few weeks ago.  And my response was – – – what, are you KIDDING me?  Of course I said yes.  We all know how much I love the attention! So – this bonus post is for that very reason- to allow you a sneak peek into the slow but steady growth in popularity of Ms. Cheevious – and all that entails, of course — wah ha ha ha. 

Please go and subscribe to the LBN E-lert, if you are so inclined.  It’s actually a fantastic news source (hellooooo? they found me and saw the news potential, didn’t they?), and it offers some great hollywood tidbits as well.  I’d also like you to subscribe as a gesture of good will toward Mr. Michael Levine who saw the potential in my little blog (and the book that began it all), for noticing MOI, and for putting it in his E-lert!! 

LBN

SUNDAY • SEPTEMBER 13, 2009

LBN-FACESPACE:

1. Name: Lisa Jey DavisST-_MG_9978-closeup
 
2. Which living person do you most despise?  Phillip Garrido

3. When and where were you happiest? Right now, and right here in Los Angeles.
 
4. What is your profession? Author of the award winning memoir (Best Unpublished Manuscript NY Book Festival 2007 – as of yet, unpublished) Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – Confessions of a Hot Mamma and the corresponding blog Ms. Cheevious – Enjoying Every Moment.
 
5. Which talent would you most like to have? Professional Poker playing so I could show muh muh muh poker face.
 
6.If you could be any fictional character, which one would you be and why?  Nell Fenwick, Dudley Doright’s dream girl.  Because every single time Dudley saved her from the clutches of Snidely Whiplash, and Snidely said “Curses! Foiled again!” Nell would throw her arms around Dudley exclaiming, “My Hero!”  Life should so simple that some good guy can rescue us from the bad guys every time. 
 
7.What is your greatest regret? I dont really have regrets because all the choices I made brought me to this place (see question 3)!
 
8. What are your favorite names? Jabba, because I am fluent in Hutt, Gwynovere because she gets to sleep with Lancelot. 
 
9. On what occasion do you lie? When it means protecting my kids. 
 
10. Email and Website: web: www.lisajeydavis.com and www.mscheevious.com (the blog)

 

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Thanks everyone!  Have a great day, and tune in later this week when I dish on the DIVA antics of the Millionaire Matchmaker!  Woo!  That girl is baaaaad!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmppphhhuuuuhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Don’t be Shy!  Leave a Reply!

Register to receive these posts via email! Go to the Ms. Cheevious Home page, and enter your email address, then click subscribe.  It’s that easy!

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious