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Denis Leary

Things We Enjoyed This Week: Eli Roth’s Goretorium & the Mandarin Hotel Las Vegas

September 29, 2012 by MsCheevious

Things We Enjoyed This Week – The Week of September 23, 2012

Eli Roth’s Goretorium in Las Vegas &

The Mandarin Hotel Las Vegas

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Eli Roth’s Goretorium in Las Vegas

What it is: A 24-7, Year-Round Horror Attraction on the Las Vegas strip, right across from the Cosmopolitan

Why We Enjoyed It: Because we were flown in and provided luxurious lodging for the grand VIP opening (and by we, I mean me). That’s enough reason for us, but we also walked down the black carpet (and everyone knows that in the world of horror, black is the new red), and secured sufficient photographs and interviews for our PR client. Our thrill was probably nine tenth’s anticipation, because the place was the dream child of and concocted by Hollywood horror director and actor Eli Roth.

One Thing We Especially Liked: Baby Dolls Nightclub (on the top floor)

We especially liked it because, whew, we’d made it through the “haunt” that was a maze of gore, violence and near zombie attacks. Then voila, there we were in a nightclub, with scantilly clad women handing us free cocktails (this was, of course, because of the grand opening. You won’t get free cocktails if you go there unless you know someone, or are, in fact, Eli Roth. So, please don’t tell them we said you could.), and we could look out over the city of Las Vegas.

We were mesmerized (or horrified, I suppose) by the great wall of dead baby heads.  Yes, dead baby heads. It’s gross, it’s gory and it’s downright disgusting. But hey, Dane Cook made “Baby Punching” comedic, so what were we to expect from the masterminds of gore and horror in this, their pet project?

Another Thing We Liked: The close proximity to the Cosmopolitan Hotel, and our all-time FAVORITE giant stiletto (because, our list of favorite giant stilettos is quite long).

Goretorium is an attraction that will probably thrill most teenagers, any horror fan you know, or those looking for something completely different to do on the Vegas strip. Send them here: GORETORIUM

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The Mandarin Hotel Las Vegas

What it is: A Zen-Like Premiere, Luxury Hotel on the Vegas Strip

Why We Enjoyed It: It’s a refreshing and relaxing luxury hotel experience in Vegas ===> there is no casino… there are no loud nightclubs. The opulence of the lobbies (there are two) and the plush rooms, without the cigarette smoke or whirring, dinging sounds of slot machines nearby make you feel as though you are not in Sin City. The ambient music and atmosphere is uber relaxing. Even the turn-down service consists of rose petals, candles and pebbles by your bedside. It’s perfect for non-smoking gambling addicts, or those addicted to pampering (that’s me). It’s also a perfect retreat after a night of wild and crazy indulgences out on the strip (also me).

One Thing We Especially Liked: What’s not to like? The rooms felt like we were in the most serene of spas. The ground floor lobby accents included deep red tulips on the tables (a personal favorite).  Also the Gold Pillow Wall on the 1st Floor Lobby, and the Gold Nugget Wall on the 23rd Floor Sky Lobby.

Here are some photos:

23rd Floor Sky Lobby

23rd Floor Sky Lobby Golden Nugget Wall


Golden Pillow Wall (and red tulips) – First Floor Lobby – Mandarin Hotel Las Vegas

8th Floor Pool / Deck

A photo that looks like the room I stayed in

You can see more of this hotel in real time in Lisa Jey Davis’ related vlog post here: http://youtu.be/Qpr9asVUAxs

Visit the hotel’s website here, and if you stay there, tell them Ms. Cheevious sent you:
http://www.mandarinoriental.com/lasvegas/default.aspx

Stay tuned for more of the Things We Enjoyed This Week, and perhaps something entirely different.

Breathe…. and Enjoy Every Moment everyone.

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis]Chief

PS) So sorry the link that said “Don’t Be Shy! Leave a Reply” in last week’s email was incorrect. I’ve hired some new link elves, and I think it’s been rectified for now. No promises on long-term link-elf accuracy. The shelf life of accurate link elves is entirely unpredictable.

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Other articles you may enjoy from Ms. Cheevious:

Things We Enjoyed This Week: Esquire Magazine

Jacobs brings little known current events as well as social mores or cultural quips to our attention in the form of witty birth announcements (READ MORE)

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Why Denis Leary Sucks

Why We Suck Book Cover

Where Ms. Cheevious discussed the book by Mr. Leary, and explains why he sucks, while offering a riveting, page-turning review: Chapters like “Please Drug Your Children” and “Your Kids Are Not Cute” which debunk the myth that we adults all agree with plastered smiles on our dopey faces, that your kid is the best thing since sliced bread – even though we may be attempting to carve out some sort of leisurely existence during our time off from work (which is scant these days).

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Celebrities, Events - General, Hot Spots, Things We Enjoyed, Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Cosmopolitan, Cosmopolitan Hotel, Denis Leary, Eli Roth, Esquire Magazine, Giant Stiletto, Gore, Goretorium, Haunt, Horror, Las Vegas, Mandarin Hotel, Mandarin Hotel Las Vegas, Why We Suck, Zombie

Why Denis Leary Sucks

August 13, 2009 by MsCheevious

First of all, let me just say that Denis Leary’s book Why We Suck – A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid – is laugh-out-loud funny – for the most part.  If you are thick-skinned and know how to take a joke, that is.  And we all know that I fit that description.  So in short, I loved the book.  But here’s why he sucks: Dr. Leary (no fake title here – he even offers up a copy of his doctorate degree from Emerson University within his pages — unless of course – heyyyyyy – maybe that was a sham??) is kinda hypocritical and he rants a bit on things that could have been left alone.

Why We Suck Book Cover

Here is a quick excerpt from his book’s prologue – just to give you an idea:

Put this book down. Right now.
Do not buy it.
Stop reading.
Now.
Why are you still reading this?
Okay.
I warned you.

Now I will beg you, beseech you — in short, do everything possible in the limited format of this medium to get you to buy any other book within reach right now (if this book was a gift and you are at home or on a plane or sitting in a hotel room somewhere I would suggest grabbing a newspaper or a magazine or even your laptop) because this book is going to piss you off.

If you are a woman, you will soon be livid.
If you are a man, you are going to be filled with a burning rage.
If you are a kid — meaning anyone under the age of eighteen — you will soon be filled with shock and awe.
Scratch that.
If you are under the age of twenty-five you will soon be filled with shock and awe.
If you are a fan of Oprah — good luck.
If you hate Oprah or Oprah tends to drive you insane — you too will need some assistance.

This is not a book for the faint of heart or the politically correct or the weak or the extreme right wing or the left of center leftist Democrat or nuns or any other members of any organized religion or New York Yankees fans.

I am warning you — I am not here to make you feel all warm and fuzzy or superior to everyone else or all soft and gooey inside. I am here to debunk and declassify and otherwise hold up a brutally honest mirror to our fat, ugly, lazy American selves.

[…] Because I’m sick of it all.

If you are new here, welcome!   We have fun (okay.  I am the one who has fun.  You guys are the smart people out there who – for some unknown reason – take the time to read what I have to say, while I have fun writing it)  — dishing on life in Los Angeles, celebrities, every-day Joe’s and what happens when they cross my path, or just about anything else that crosses my path!  But like Denis, I am compelled to warn you.  This blog is NOT for everyone, and certainly not any mamby pamby peeps out there who can’t be honest about who you really are or what’s really going on with men and women, and kids and animals – and everything else in this world. (That’s why, in actuality, I loved Denis Leary’s book.  There was some simpatico thing going on there.)

But welcome — and ENJOY!

So – I started reading Dr. Leary’s book on my trip back east over the Fourth of July.  It was so stinkin’ funny, I found myself passing it over to M. C. Nugget (the alias for my HOT MAN)  several times throughout the vacation to read it.  I just couldn’t leave him out.  Now THAT’s an exceptionally funny book, if I am so taken by it, I have to give it up for a moment to share it with someone.

Chapters like “Please Drug Your Children” and “Your Kids Are Not Cute” which debunk the myth that we adults all agree with plastered smiles on our dopey faces, that your kid is the best thing since sliced bread – even though we may be attempting to carve out some sort of leisurely existence during our time off from work (which is scant these days).  Despite that – somehow, we actually agree with you that whatever little Johnny or Susie wants, they should have.  That because of your kid’s incredible cuteness, brilliance at saying “Mama”  or physical prowess (to walk, crawl, spit, etc) beyond his or her years – we are all willing to forget the fact that your offspring is the child from hell – on the plane,  in the restaurant, or at the movies – you name it.  He or she is screaming and carrying on, kicking the back of our seats, or running around the restaurant throwing toys, while crying at the movies – while we  (who really need to use the time to sleep, have a nice glass of wine and a quiet dinner, read, play solitaire, or simply try to enjoy our time as – guess what?  ADULTS ) squirm, and practice our deep breathing exercises so that we don’t come unglued and wring your little darling’s neck.

These chapters made me not only laugh, but I was ready to join any club Denis Leary had to offer, to put these narcissistic, thoughtless. selfish, rude, stupid parents away for good – and their little kids too.

However, (and, you knew this was coming) the book does come with its share of  — how shall I put it?  Missteps? Idiotic statements?  Rants that should have been left in the deep recesses of Mr. Leary’s brain?

Now, I am NOT speaking of the headlines the book made back in October of 2008, because Denis so shamelessly dissed most people who claim to have Autism – or that their kids have Autism.  I think that chapter was called “Autism Shmautism.” Listen.  I AGREE with him on that, based on what he actually SAID.  But you have to read it to know why.  (You can also find an excerpt about why Your Cat Sucks on his website, here).

I’m speaking of a few other things, and I made little laundry list of items which either a) didn’t make sense, based on who Denis Leary professes to be (a man’s man who loves a free show, when it comes to naked women, or any part thereof), or b) made me sick or sounded stupid, or c) just didn’t need to be in there repeatedly, ad nauseum, infinitum, because it was like – enough already!  So my list is organized like this:  Topic, Dr. Leary’s quote, and why it sucks.

1. Strip Bars – “For girls without a college education – the lap dance never goes out of style. All you need – believe me – is two tits, an ass and a v—-“…  “If you didn’t even have a head, some guys might get a little skeeved about it, but  I’m telling you – a lot of other guys would be lined up around the block to get some lap action from a dancer who didn’t talk.” HERE’S THE PART THAT SUCKS – as if that wasn’t enough: “I’m not exactly the strip club type…” WHY IT SUCKS:  Well – back to the first quote.  Under the gyse of being “honest” about men, he proceeds to denigrate women without a college education.  So much so, that they wouldn’t even need their head. Green, Irish, SUCKY McSUCKLESTEIN.  Also – and this in reference to the second quote – He lies!  Not only does he, in numerous other places in the book, go on and on about how he and all guys are always trying to get a peek at naked women, and how that’s partly why he and all his friends started acting, because the girls in the cast would do quick back-stage changes (he was a pre-pubescent kid), and they sometimes got a tittie shot or whatever (and that’s not smarmy to a girl?).  AND – It is widely known that he was quite pleased a while back when he was admitted for free into a strip club in NYC because he was mistaken for Willem Dafoe. You can read that story here.  But wait – there’s more.

2. Strip Bars – Part 2 – “Strip clubs are basically live laboratories for low self-esteem… Everyone there would rather be somewhere else…. ” He advised other men not to go into strip bars, but instead to  ” remove all the cash from your wallet and light it on fire… bang your head against the wall several times… drive home.  What did you miss?  Nothing.  Smelly armpits, seven useless hard-ons and eighty-five horrible tattoos.” WHY IT SUCKS:  So – not only does he say he isn’t the Strip Club type, but he later goes on to further denigrate anything or anyone to do with Strip Bars – the dancers, the bouncers and bartenders, and definitely – the guys that go in to watch the dancers. Smelly armpits and horrible tattoos?  What strip clubs has he been going to?  My god!  And what about women that like to go into strip bars?  There is a bikini bar by my house, which I actually like to go to. I like to watch the dancers – who are lovely (translation: hot, with smokin’ bods), and sweet, and know how to DANCE!  And I am not a lesbo!  I just know hotness when I see it!  And so does every other woman – even if she won’t admit it.  And – contrary to Dr. Leary’s summation – are NOT all lacking self esteem.  I’ve met women working their way through medical school, law school – you name it.  I’ve also met some with low self esteem.  Duh.  That happens with waitresses, plant workers, people who clean other people’s houses, even female executives  – some are well adjusted, some have no self esteem… some have high aspirations, and some don’t.  But even if that weren’t the case – hey this is AMERICA:  the fact that someone can grow up and choose to dance and strip and whatever is legal that he or she wants to do for a living ,  and guys or girls can go in and have a great time – or not – it’s up to them – is what makes this a free society!  But to put everyone down surrounding the whole subject matter – well, it just sucks – and I gotta believe there is something else going on.  Which leads me to the next item on my list:

3. Mrs. Denis Leary – Regarding how lucky he is to always “get” to watch his wife go through multiple wardrobe changes before going out to dinner, or to some event:  “When I was a teenager, a hot chick strutting her stuff in your bedroom was considered an impossible event and here it is happening multiple times a week for free? … it doesn’t get any better than this” and how though most moms don’t think any woman is good enough for her son, “Not my mom. She couldn’t believe I came home with my wife…. Of course, she’s right… About the chances that I would have won the heart of a woman as bright, funny and beautiful as my wife,” and “I love it when my wife sashays. You should the same way when your girl does it.” WHY IT SUCKS: Well, there’s more below – but I gotta think Denis used the whole thing about strip bars, as well as the MULTIPLE, sappy praises for his wife to make himself feel less like a JERK.  Come on!  This one is continued below:

4. & Their Kids –  “My daughter is smart and funny and gorgeous – just like her mom… My son? Well – he’s funny and smart and tall and — wears the same sweatpants I do.” and “My kids each have televisions and giant computer screens and electric guitars and sofas and their own individual bathrooms and Xboxes and PlayStations and… DVDs and CDs… when the kids get into trouble my wife and I say “That’s it! WE’RE going to your room.” and under a picture of him with his wife and kids, “This is our family – My wonderful son, Jack, and my gorgeous daughter, Devin, alongside their fabulous mom.  I know.. I’m speaking in cliche adjectives – but it’s true.” WHY IT SUCKS: BECAUSE!  He spent the first half of the book (and most of the rest) explaining that the reason “WE” Americans suck, and why the rest of the world thinks we suck, is because we are spoiled, that we all think our offspring are perfect, and we have way too much.  Then he not only proceeds to show us just how nice his kids have it – but he – ad nauseum – tells us how wonderful they are.  I get it!  We get it!  It’s admirable, and to most women even SEXY when a man loves and is actually attracted to his wife.  But the book is all about why we SUCK.  No one is safe, supposedly – yet Denis Leary’s family – his wife and kids – are pure perfection?  It’s all fine – it just doesn’t match every other thing the book says.  Mr. Leary passes himself off as this tough, man’s man sorta guy — a no nonsense, down home guy who was raised by no nonsense, tough Irish immigrant parents.  He graphically tells us what guys are “really” like – then everything he says about his wife and kids opposes it.

Okay – I’m done.

HA!

But really.  I’ve told you some of the great things about Denis Leary’s book, and why some of it just didn’t quite measure up.  Not bad for a first-timer — and I laughed ALOT.  But hey – don’t let me be the judge.  Check it out for yourself. It’s definitely worth the read.

Also – one other thing:  I may like strip bars, and may believe that not everyone in them has low self esteem – I’m there aren’t I?  ALSO – I love MY guy.

But at least I am brave enough to admit I don’t think strip bars are so bad – even though my own sisters and most women I know will be up in arms about it. Also, I am not foolish enough to go on and on and on in a sappy fashion about M.C. Nugget’s fabulousness (nor is M.C. foolish enough to believe it – even though, well – truth be told – he’d LOVE every minute and gobble it up).

But if you remember ONE thing from this review – remember this: I ROCK.  I don’t suck.  And YOU ROCK. I don’t know who the “we” is that Denis was talking about, but it certainly wasn’t US!

I’ve got a fairly mellow weekend ahead everyone!  How about you?  M.C. Nugget is shooting a movie – and we’ve got friends in town – so it’ll be early to bed, early to rise, for the most part.

Have a fantastic weekend – and get out there and ROCK!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhhuuuhhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Business Item:  This is a new blog location for me, and with the execution of that comes a fairly decent share of wrinkles that must be ironed out.  Since the site is now “live,” and posts are sent to the subscribers each time they are published, there is no real way of practicing or doing a “dry run” on new page layouts or formats, etc.   So – pardon my dust while I tool around my new digs!  I apologize in advance if you happen to get more than one email for a post (you shouldn’t).

Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Entertainment, Hot Moms, Kids, Uncategorized Tagged With: Denis Leary, Why We Suck, Your Cat Sucks

A Woman’s Needs

August 6, 2009 by MsCheevious

Hellooooo all my fabulous friends out there in Ms. Cheevious-land! 

A good friend sent the following list of women’s needs to me, and I agree with just about every single thing on this list – well, poem.  It’s written by Maya Angelou, an accomplished writer, a woman with a doctorate degree (cool), who’s traveled and lived all over the world. She is quite an amazing single mom (at least at one time in her life she was).  So – I’ve included her little admonishment to women here, and in RED is my commentary.  Is that sacrilegious? Tough.  You need to hear what I have to say. HA!

If you are new here – well, FINALLY!  You’ve come to your senses!  ha ha.  JUST KIDDING! (kinda)

We have fun here, and this weekly (or sometimes bi-weekly, or whenever my travels and computer problems allow for it) blog is an extension of my book Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – Confessions of a Hot Mamma, (need I say “AWARD WINNING”?) which is unpublished at this point – but I’m working on it.  You can read about it here. But welcome to the Ms. Cheevious blog, and a whole new world!  Enjoy!

So on to the poem, and my wise – ehem – wise-ass commentary:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
enough money within her control to move out 
and rent a place of her own, 
even if she never wants to or needs to… 

HELLOOOO… these days she better have enough in her coffers to BUY a place of her own for cash, and then be able to RENT it back to the bastard – um, guy – that was holding her back!  HA! (Not YOU, honey!!)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

something perfect to wear if the employer, 
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour… 

For the boss – how about a giant COFFEE MUG or just come dressed as a pen for taking notes on all of his wise words.  If he is at all lecherous, just see the notes below for dates, because let’s face it – that’s what he really wants.  
For dates – will a bustier or a tu-tu do?  Come on!  Since when do we know when someone is REALLY the date of our dreams?  Aren’t they ALL?  And in that case, wouldn’t we need like seven different outfits?  One for every night? 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. 
a youth she’s content to leave behind…. 

Hmmm.  I’ve had a pretty good youth – but that’s all relative.  I’m still young aren’t I?  If you are twenty, repeat after me: “yes ma’am”.  But at this very young age of mine, I don’t know whether to agree, or completely rise up in protest, take off all my clothes and run down the beach nekked.  Heck, you only live once, right? HA

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to 
retelling it in her old age…. 

‘Nuff said. (smile)

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….. 
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra… … a “Rabbit” (heh heh), and what’s this about LACE?  I hate it.  Itchy.  Nope.  Not doin’ it.  Hot lingerie? Yes.  But a good set of wine or martini glasses (or both), and always something healthy to eat (like carrots or cucumbers) in the fridge – now THAT’S practical.
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry… 

Check! 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. 
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family… 

how about a 50 inch flat screen plasma tv? 
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, 
and a recipe for a meal, 
that will make her guests feel honored… 

Wait – covered that above… and I just memorize all my good recipes …  yummmmmm… So I guess a woman should have a good memory for good recipes? So what we’re sayin’ here is women need to be super human.  Right?
 
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … 
a feeling of control over her destiny… 

Well – DUHHHH

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… 
how to fall in love without losing herself.. 

AMEN SISTER
 
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… 
how to quit a job, 
break up with a lover, 
and confront a friend without; 
ruining the friendship… 

Ooh. Tough call. Sometimes you want to ruin the friendship…. NOT.   What kind of craziness is this???  OF COURSE ya need to know how to do those things – but let’s be REAL.  Who really DOES know how?  That’s why you read my BLOG people!  🙂

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY… 

got that one DOWN.  Don’t we all, you hot lovely women out there?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. 

Ohhhh, but I can try can’t I? My mom needs to wise up and just ADMIT I am her favorite!  HA!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over… 
whaaahhh?? over?  What are you tryin’ to tell me here?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

now that’s interesting.  I’m pretty much a “do anything” kinda gal… ha ha

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

i like it, i like it!  but i may not want it forever… may need someone to pick me up off the floor if i ever fall and hurt my hip!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally… 

… NEWS FLASH – it IS personal!  Someone breaks trust, it is a complete afront to ME – personally.  That’s how I learn NOT to trust them again! MMM-KAY?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table… 
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing… 

… can you say DAY SPA?  Cucumber facial, mud bath, and a glass of champagne… ahhhhh.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

NOTHING my pretties.  I can do it ALL.

Well – that’s it for ya!  I am off to a weekend in Palm Springs with my man, M.C. Nugget.  Ain’t life grand, people?  Have a wonderfully exotic and excruciatingly fabulous weekend boys and girls!

Tune in next week, when I tell you exactly Why Denis Leary Sucks!

Love you people!  Mmmmmmmppppphhhhuuuhhhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Register to receive these posts via email! Go to the Ms. Cheevious Home page, and enter your email address, then click subscribe.  It’s that easy!

Follow Ms. Cheevious on Twitter.
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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Filed Under: Anti-stress, Dating, Entertainment, Girls Gone Wild, Girls Night Out, Hip Chicks, Hot Moms, Single Moms, Uncategorized Tagged With: Denis Leary, M.C. Nugget, Maya Angelou, Rabbit

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