Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

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Meh. I got nothin’

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MEH. I GOT NOTHIN’

 

#DailyMischief

 

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You may have noticed that I’m not myself lately (not the fun-loving, story-telling nut job I normally am, that is). I’ve been otherwise detained with business opportunities (of which, involve classical pilates certification, the FINAL launch of my memoir Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood, an entire revamp of my personal website, teaching Pilates on steroids and now, TAXES).

It’s not easy writing a blog when so much else is spinning, especially if and when Mercury is in retrograde.

 

It’s tough to conquer the world when your equipment goes schizo.

I’m not saying I believe in all this hocus-pocus stuff that people apparently LOVE to dish out. And trust me… I’ve been exposed to it all, and it can be some downright WHACKY bullshit. If you happen to live your life by tincture and crystal please don’t be offended. It doesn’t make me love you less, but I’m not one to go there without serious research or at least gut-level sense.

And hey, I don’t know the mysteries of the universe, (although I’ve been quite sure I’ve solved them over cocktails now and then), but ask to hover crystals over my body to see if my chi is balanced, or whatever, and I’ll make you a deal: I’d love to read the entire Webster’s Unabridged dictionary to you in a seven hour sitting.

This to say, that Mercury may or may NOT be in retrograde… but dammit all, I am BACK people!!

Okay… I’m sort of back. Let’s not go crazy. I’m not totally back right this second.

Right now, in this  moment?…

Well… I got nothin’.

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result (a $3.99 value). Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

A little peek

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TIME’S UP KIDS!

This is the last week you can pre-order the hard-cover copy of my book “Ms. Cheevious in Hollyood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town” at a discount! Order now.

 

UPDATE:

Since this post went live, my book’s gone on sale!! SQUEEE!!!!  And Amazon, being the behemoth it is, has it marked down even cheaper than retail!

Go HERE: http://www.amazon.com/Ms-Cheevious-Hollywood-Working-Tinsel/dp/0986232408/

Now, if you want a SIGNED copy, you’ll need to order that here.

Also, the “fan” business in the next line won’t work for you either (since the pre-order campaign page is done), but you can subscribe to my e-list (emails go out *maybe* once a week) over there =====> in the side bar! WOOT!!!

 

 

If you’re waiting for the paperback or eBook version, that’s okay. You can still do something for me. Go to the page and sign up to be my fan, would you? This will help me in the future, to know who wants the book, even if it’s not now.

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Below is little peek into the book, and what’s in store if you read it! FUN.FUN.FUN, I say.

Enjoy!

If I’d Attacked Him He’d Be Dead

“I wonder if Scarlett Johansson can tell I escaped insanity to be here.”

 

“Lisa Jey!”

Aaron, my friend and boss called into the headset, “I need you to get Scarlett Johansson and take her to prompter! She’s hung up at red carpet somewhere. Over!” Kkkhhh.

“I’m on it,” I replied. Hmm … I saw Lost in Translation … I’ll recognize her, I thought. But as I opened the sound stage door, I was met by a barrage of equipment and people: celebrities drinking and chatting, production crews maneuvering cameras and boom microphones and journalists, all crammed together outside the backstage door. I had to get through this cluster just to get to the red carpet and I had to move fast. Okay, this may not be so easy.

I pushed my way authoritatively through the crowd, without prejudice. “People! Hello! Can—you—please—MOVE? It’s imperative I get through now! Snoop Dogg? Hi. I’m sorry! No time to talk here. I have! To get! To red! Carpet!”

I finally spilled out of the other side of the crowd near the opposite end of the red carpet nearly tripping over my own stilettos (I always dress up for show time). Behind me lay party mayhem. In front of me were scattered miscellaneous faces in utter silence. It was like night and day. Where was everyone? And where was Scarlett? I scanned the landscape frantically, looking for someone who might know my charge. A few guys wearing baggie jeans with boxers exposed, black shades, sports jerseys and tons of gold bling were talking on cell phones and slouching against the audience stands. Rappers… Why do they all dress alike? I walked up to one of them, who had his phone up to his ear and asked, “Have you seen Scarlett Johansson?” He said nothing, but pointed to his right and looked over toward a skinny little thing who was smiling and chatting away, seemingly amused by the mayhem behind me. She looked fabulous in a black little bustier dress and yellow mesh tank. Her hair looked like it was pulled up in these tiny sort-of chop-stick things.

I walked over to her, conjuring up my most cheerful voice and said, “Hey there! I need to get you to prompter pretty quickly. They’re waiting for you.”

“Okay,” she answered with a smile and followed me. This time, the chaotic crowd seemed like no big deal. I knew it was for one reason only: I had Scarlett with me. The friggin’ Red Sea parted because everyone wanted a piece of—I mean a glance at Scarlet Johansson.

As we worked our way through, Scarlet kept pausing to greet every single person along the way she seemed to know, and there were a ton. This is not good. Finally the stage door came into view, and just as I was starting to feel my breath recalibrate, Scarlett stopped dead in her tracks and began a full-on conversation with an unassuming guy who was standing there in a tan leather jacket and dark sunglasses. I had no idea how she knew him, or why anyone would assume it was okay to hold things up, but he was smiling a lot and looked pretty happy. I just didn’t get it. I would have burst into flames, but my appreciation and enthusiasm for all things fun and social (not to mention the fact that I kept getting involved in Scarlett’s little conversations, laughing and smiling right along with her and her “friends”) kept me somewhat cool. I couldn’t tell whether any of them saw through my clever producer disguise. I found I was pretty adept at waxing professional and not letting on about anything that had gone on in my life. But it was in those moments, attempting to relate to people who were on the red carpet, and who knew Scarlett for one reason or another, that I couldn’t help but wonder if they saw “Damaged” or “Been through hell” written all over my face. Was there any chance Scarlett saw past the headset into the chaotic, heartbreaking world I’d come from? Could she possibly see that I’d been through the horrors of my husband’s violent drug addiction, the threat of losing my kids and going to jail, and had suffered deeply seeing my older son under someone else’s care? I hoped not, as I chuckled and smiled as knowingly as possible at their talk of designer gowns or shoes, or the party they’d been to in Cannes. I watched as she and this mystery guy laughed together for all on the sidelines to see.

After a few minutes, I was jolted back again. Kkkhhh. “Lisa Jey! Where’s Scarlett?! Over!” Kkkhhh.

Trying to talk under my breath I mumbled into the headset “I’ve got her. We’re at the stage door. But there’s a hold-up.”

“What?” Aaron commanded. In that second I noticed a boom mic hanging over my head and with a glance over my shoulder saw an entire MTV camera crew behind me, trying to capture all of this on film. Why is everyone making such a big deal about this?

Then, Mr. Unassuming reached out, shook my hand and said, “Hi. How’re you doing?”

Oh. I get it now.

“I’m good, thanks!” I said cheerily…

 

“So, you were the Tom they were looking for earlier?” I said, laughing to Mr. Unassuming Tom Cruise.

Click here to order your copy, to follow my adventures as a newly divorced single mom let loose on Hollywood!  And find out exactly WHY this chapter is called “IF I’D ATTACKED HIM HE’D BE DEAD”! 

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result (a $3.99 value). Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

It’s time kids

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I know it’s been almost nine friggin years in the making, and I realize it’s been so damn long that to refer to my memoir “Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – My Zany Years Spent Working In Tinsel Town” as much anticipated, or even long overdue, seems well, a little old and worn. I also am cognizant of the fact I have been promising this book for so long that the mere mention of it here on the blog has been scant, to say the least, and has mostly been relegated to the BOOKS page of the site.

But guess what?

The day when I can ACTUALLY say “I wrote a memoir” and have it be – well… TRUE… is HERE. And that day is TODAY (well, I made the pre-order available a few days ago, but it counts).

CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT???

THIS IS BIG, YOU GUYS.

Though it’s the hardcover that’s available for pre-order at a discount ($24.99 instead of the $29.00 release price) until the book is set to release on February 1, and the paperback and eBook versions will be available later this year, THIS IS HUGE!

As a special part of this pre-order nonsense, I am offering to sign your copy. This could be really valuable, you know, in case I become famous one day, and then die, and assuming you are still living and decide to auction it off. It could happen.

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And, call me crazy, but I’m not even charging extra to sign your book, and mail it personally to you (you just have to select the “package” option on the page).

I know, right? That shit is CRAZY.

So, it’s time kids! If you don’t want to preorder a copy, AT LEAST follow this link and go and FAN the damn page, would ya?

Here’s the link. Have fun: http://www.mscheevious.pubslush.com

No sign off stuff here because I did this all from my phone while on the chair lift in Mammoth Mountain (okay, I’m lying. I’m actually on the floor in the bathroom of our hotel room in Mammoth at 4:15 AM and couldn’t sleep until I told you guys about this, even though I am on my phone and this is a pain in the ass, because this shit right here IS the shit… You know? But saying I did it just prior to jumping into the halfpipe on my snowboard sounds so much cooler). Have a great week everyone and GO RIGHT NOW TO FAN MY PRE-ORDER PAGE AND MAYBE EVEN PRE-ORDER A SIGNED COPY.

 

#MomFactor: All women, in general, will enjoy this book, but moms will take more away from this book, I think; and if you’re a single mom, especially, then this book is for you, written with you in mind, my dear. GET IT. READ IT. COMMIT IT TO MEMORY. That is, if you want to.

 

Win Two Free Months of Nerium Night Cream! Woot!

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WIN TWO FREE MONTHS OF NERIUM NIGHT CREAM!!!

 

(If this post is not for you, and you’re reading this via RSS or Email, just keep scrolling. The “FUNNY” continues!)

I had the unbelievable good fortune and pleasure of trying NERIUM night cream over the last few months. I was going about my days putting the stuff on, not really thinking much about it, when one day I realized my skin just looked tighter and smoother. I also realized that I’d not been bothering to wear makeup or cover up around my wrinkled smile-lines, which had become the norm for me. I even posted a photo on my Facebook profile bragging about it (click here to view it).

Yep, I was SOLD. But you see, I hadn’t bought a thing. Pure and Bright Skin (my niece, to be exact… Full disclosure here) agreed to let me try the stuff for a couple of months, because she was SURE I would love it. I only agreed to try it and share it here if, in the event I did love the stuff, she would offer the same two month trial to one of YOU.

Here are a couple of my before and after photos, but know this: Nerium also evens out skin tone and is known to repair damaged skin and clear blemishes. So if your face is reddish in tone, Nerium may brighten it up a bit. These photos have not been retouched:

Before and after mouth on Nerium Before and After Eyes

If you aren’t in the know about Nerium, or you’re just skeptical, here are some VERY REAL before and after images of more Pure and Bright clients:
Pure and Bright Skin results on Nerium Male results after 7 days
 The man in the photo above, had his after photos taken after seven days. Is this stuff the BOMB or what?
Another male on Nerium - Great results
And remember that thing about how Nerium evens out the skin tone and clears blemishes?
Evening skin tones and clearing blemishes
So my loves, here is your chance.

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO ENTER (FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS COMPLETELY).

It will take you to the contest on my Facebook Page, where you’ll be prompted to do three things (“Like” our Facebook pages – not just visit the page,  though that’s what the button says – and then post a specific type of comment here on the blog):

 Click to Enter!
Good luck everyone!

My virtual world is more real

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MY VIRTUAL WORLD IS MORE REAL

 

#DailyMischief

 

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Thursday was a BIG day for me. I met some of my all-time BFF chick friends for the first time in real life (we call that #IRL in cyberspace). We met for dinner and this is the proof:

Finally meeting in real life!

This is what has become of us, people. We have friends, followers and minions via the world wide web. Most of those people only see a dim view of our real selves and most people are content to keep it that way. But really, that’s what makes virtual relationships golden: we have the ability to present the perfect picture to our online friends, as well as the ability to turn off, un-follow, un-friend anyone who gets too close, or just too freaking batshit crazy.

Now, I on the other hand am ME, online and in person. THIS TAKES GUTS (that, or no moral compass or ability to make cogent, wise decisions). These girls are authentically them, also, and I LOVE THEM TO DEATH!!!

We’ve been virtual friends for quite some time. It’s been a slow and steady courtship, however. We’ve collaborated on projects like #DatingChat on Twitter, and toyed with doing Skype or Google Hangout Chats (if only Dirty In Public wasn’t based in Timbuk-No-Signal), and we visit each other’s blogs to show some love now and then too.

It’s been something like four + years, I believe. It began when I stumbled upon Dirty’s fantastic twitter profile:

 

And since the computer geek gods haven’t figured everything out, you probably can’t see what’s above if you’re viewing this via RSS or email. So,  here something pretty to look at (and you can click to follow if you so desire):

Dirty in Public Twitter

 

That virtual relationship grew and Ms. Dirty Girl introduced me to a gaggle of various other dating and relationship bloggers. Many of them have come and gone, but the two that remain steady are Marrie Lobel of Dirty in Public and Suzie of Single Dating Diva.  Here is Suzie’s Twitter profile:

 

       

 

Single Dating Diva on Twitter

 

I’ve been spending some time with these girls, and let me tell you something: THESE GIRLS ALMOST OUTDO ME in the fun, laughs and good times department.

I know. Hard to believe.

This got me thinking. It’s interesting the zany (and a little scary) world we live in today, where we meet and develop friendships with people virtually, more easily and more often than we do so in real life. What’s even scarier is that most kids today do not see this as unusual. To them, THIS IS NORMAL. But to us, THIS IS THE NEW NORMAL (tweet that here if you like)

Hey, I’m not knocking it. I met Marrie and Suzie didn’t I? And they rock.

Stay tuned for stories of the adventures of Ms. Cheevious, Dirty in Public and Single Dating Diva (as well as some other lucky dating and relationship bloggers here in LA), but until then, think about THIS:

 

You know more about me than most people I see on a regular basis. 

 

Now THAT is scary… the fact my virtual world really may be more real than reality.

 

#MomFactor: Teach your kids to be authentic in their virtual worlds, but also, how to make friends and communicate IN REAL LIFE. KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE! 

(Some fun other tweets you can share are here and here)

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

 

 

When we bring out the big guns

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WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS

#DailyMischief

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I told you guys the story of my sister and I flying out to spruce up the family home a few weeks ago, but I left out a little incident that happened when we went to listen to our baby brother’s hard rock band that weekend.

What do you call two over-forty, totally white chicks at an extremely loud heavy metal concert? LOST.

But we were totally game! You have to understand that prior to this, WE WERE READY TO ROCK! We’d been ready all day. After working our fingers to the bone for two days straight, a rock-n-roll night would be had by all, dammit. We cranked Bohemian Rhapsody, on the way over in the car and sang every word of that song, Wayne’s World style, to prepare.

So, when our bro’s band played only original songs, we were a little deflated we wouldn’t get to hear our favorite Motley Crue song (everyone has one, right? Girls, Girls, Girls? That’s one, right?). Still, in a show of support, we got up to dance a few times anyway.

Then the second act came on. The guy sang in alternating tones: deep and scary, mixed with equal parts “frat boy on helium”. Occasionally he threw in a screamy-terror voice – the kind that sounded like he had a gnarly case of laryngitis and made me want to run up and give him a throat lozenge. But this is where I lost it. You guys, the guy was running around our little crowd of about thirty, zigging and zagging. He looked like a pin ball machine.

What got me was the guy had a cool microphone that allowed him to run out into the crowd. I’m sure he was doing the best he could, but dang, I would have RULED that thing. I would have climbed up on the speakers singing, lured the chicks in the crowd to dance and tear their shirts off… This guy just sort of ran back and forth, and back and forth… And occasionally to and fro.

I tried to laugh and joke about it with my sister, but trying to communicate with her was useless. I chuckled in her ear and told her my hilarious observations and she stared blankly at me. She couldn’t hear a word I was saying.

So, we pulled out the big guns.

When heavy metal is too loud, pull out the big guns.

Gotta love technology, if not for the sole purpose of delivering zingers.

Click here to tweet about the Frat-Boy on Helium…. or here to talk about the gnarly-laringitis-heavy-metal guy.

If you liked the Motley Crue artwork, give a visit to this talented artist’s page: http://nakamarusama.deviantart.com/art/Mick-Mars-paper-child-345610900

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get the blissful yoga routine in an eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” by Lisa Jey Davis for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.