WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS
I told you guys the story of my sister and I flying out to spruce up the family home a few weeks ago, but I left out a little incident that happened when we went to listen to our baby brother’s hard rock band that weekend.
What do you call two over-forty, totally white chicks at an extremely loud heavy metal concert? LOST.
But we were totally game! You have to understand that prior to this, WE WERE READY TO ROCK! We’d been ready all day. After working our fingers to the bone for two days straight, a rock-n-roll night would be had by all, dammit. We cranked Bohemian Rhapsody, on the way over in the car and sang every word of that song, Wayne’s World style, to prepare.
So, when our bro’s band played only original songs, we were a little deflated we wouldn’t get to hear our favorite Motley Crue song (everyone has one, right? Girls, Girls, Girls? That’s one, right?). Still, in a show of support, we got up to dance a few times anyway.
Then the second act came on. The guy sang in alternating tones: deep and scary, mixed with equal parts “frat boy on helium”. Occasionally he threw in a screamy-terror voice – the kind that sounded like he had a gnarly case of laryngitis and made me want to run up and give him a throat lozenge. But this is where I lost it. You guys, the guy was running around our little crowd of about thirty, zigging and zagging. He looked like a pin ball machine.
What got me was the guy had a cool microphone that allowed him to run out into the crowd. I’m sure he was doing the best he could, but dang, I would have RULED that thing. I would have climbed up on the speakers singing, lured the chicks in the crowd to dance and tear their shirts off… This guy just sort of ran back and forth, and back and forth… And occasionally to and fro.
I tried to laugh and joke about it with my sister, but trying to communicate with her was useless. I chuckled in her ear and told her my hilarious observations and she stared blankly at me. She couldn’t hear a word I was saying.
So, we pulled out the big guns.
Gotta love technology, if not for the sole purpose of delivering zingers.
Click here to tweet about the Frat-Boy on Helium…. or here to talk about the gnarly-laringitis-heavy-metal guy.
If you liked the Motley Crue artwork, give a visit to this talented artist’s page: http://nakamarusama.deviantart.com/art/Mick-Mars-paper-child-345610900
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Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.
Onisha Ellis says
As one who is beginning to experience some hearing loss when there is a lot of background noise, this is inspiring. Now instead of asking someone to repeat something, I will just text them. Have to try this out!
You SEE Onisha? I knew it would inspire. I just knew it.
Scott Bury says
Now I’m nervoucs about the possibility that I might someday be doing karaoke in the same room as you. I know when I’m beat.
Oh Scott… you know, with you I will be on my best behavior, just as I was with my little bro. Strangers? Squealing and screaming on alternate lyrics? Not so much.
Elyse Salpeter says
I’m so scared that my complete lack of wanting to be in a bar with that sort of music means I’m getting old. Then again, I can’t hear anything anyway, so what’s the big deal, right?
Lady – if you’re old, what am I?
Don’t answer that.
Lisa Collins says
Strike up the band and count me in!
You’re IN sistah!
Bob Nailor says
My blog last week about whispering – Yup! This is what it is all about and I can see THIS as valid whispering. LOL. What a great story. Thx for sharing.
Thank you Bob! XX
Elise Stokes says
The mother in me is, like, “Now, stop that scream voicing, you hear? You’ll damage your vocal cords!” Yeah, I would’ve been loads of fun to bring along 😉
HAHA – yeah, well me too then, Elise!
Wait a minute…that was a typo. I am sure my text said “Are WE getting old?” hehe
Oh YEAH! It was a typo! LOL
Calinda B says
Sounds like me at a DJ Shadow concert a few years back. That boy plays it LOUD. I wanted to be up front, like I always do, my kids wanted to disappear and pretend “mom” wasn’t in the house. I stood next to the speaker, wondering if I was having a heart attack. My muscles were vibrating, my bones were clattering around…I walked, shakily as far away as I could, hoping to live to see another day.
Now I leave when DJ Shadow gets on stage, preferring Bonobo’s reasonable amplitude and awesome smile.
Fun story. Thanks for prompting a few memories. Oh, the fun times…!
Ah yes… fun times indeed! Thanks CB
TOO STINKIN’ FUNNY! Yes, I can just SEE you girls there doing that! And what was the sister-in-law doing all this time? had to laugh!
She was dancing and visiting with people she knew, Wak! Of course!
James Prescott says
Gotta love a bit of public singing…as you get older, you get less afraid to embarrass yourself (he says sounding old, I’m not!). Thanks for sharing 🙂
I hope there were strong cocktails at least!! Yeah, I hate when you are ready to party and the music is not what you were expecting…. 🙂
Ms. Cheevious says
ah yes… strong cocktails Kelly! LOL