HOOKED ON A FEELING
When I first got divorced, I wasn’t even thinking about dating, per se. I was off in La-La Land (Los Angeles for you newbies in the class… get with the program) trying to stop flopping around as a single person, when the first interesting guy came along. He turned out to be a guy who’d cheated on girlfriends on multiple occasions, but that didn’t stop me, no. I WAS HOOKED. It wasn’t necessarily HIM I was hooked on. We weren’t in a relationship for goddsakes.
I was hooked on the feeling, baby! He just happened to be the first person who came along, was a willing participant, and put the bounce back into my step (or the spark into my -um- spark plug?)….
I often confused that tingly feeling with feeling special or being treated special. And heck, that tingly feeling is pretty FREAKING special. Can you blame me?
By the time I rose up from the ashes of those post-divorce “sparks” and realized it hadn’t been a lover whispering sweet nothings, but my hormones trying to scream at me…well… I’d met far too many losers.
But really, ladies, ADMIT IT. You do this too. You make the mistake of falling for the same bad guy over and over again, because not only does it feel good when we get a little action, but… well…here’s a hint: THE BAD GUYS WORK HARD TO WOO US. (Plus, most women love the challenge of taming the wild beast more than we like to admit. TRUE STORY).
And for our part, we’re putty in their hands. They’re the carpet baggers and we are handing them our prized possessions, because dammit that tingly feeling feels GOOD! You could hook me up to an i.v. NOW. I wouldn’t say no.
So when the folks at DatingMetrics.com showed me a study with statistics around this phenomenon, I knew I needed to explore further. Granted… these are people writing blog posts like “Talking to Girls Like 007” and “Picking Up Women in the Wild: 9 Lessons from the Animal Kingdom” but I was intrigued, nonetheless.
So, I conducted a scientific evaluation of my own and am hand-delivering my findings to you, here and now.
Read on, learn, and NEVER, EVER fall for a loser again (and by loser, I do not mean a hot, gorgeous, edgy guy… those guys aren’t bad, right?):
Who ARE you people at Dating Metrics, and WHY did you do this study?
Think of us as mad scientists who measure the do’s and don’ts of dating in a secret laboratory. We did this study to wrap up the bad boy vs. nice guy debate once and for all because there’s been a lot of talk recently that nice guys are the 21st century choice and we wanted to cry BULL SH*T!
There’s been a lot of talk that nice guys are the choice for the 21st century, and we wanted to cry BULL SH*T!
But to shout from the rooftops we needed proof…so we found it in the TV characters that get women addicted to shows like The Vampire Diaries, Mad Men and True Blood.
After rounding up 53 of the “sexiest TV character” lists ONLY written by women and counting 444 votes we slam dunk proved it: 86% of women’s favorite TV characters are – you guessed it – bad to the bone. Bad boys aren’t just winning…they’re cleaning up.
86% of women’s favorite TV characters are bad to the bone. Bad boys aren’t just winning… they’re cleaning up.
What was the most shocking thing you found?
Get this: 40% of women’s votes didn’t just go to any old bad boy. They went to cold blooded MURDERERS like Dexter Morgan, Damon Salvatore and Jesse Pinkman.
Most shocking: 40% of women’s votes went to cold-blooded MURDERERS.
This quote from a Dexter fan kinda says it all: “I’m starting to get alarmed about how many murderers I would justify getting with, but Dexter only kills other killers so it’s like he’s not even a killer at all. He’s basically Batman. Beautiful, ginger Batman.”
Sure, this was all about fantasy boyfriends (serial killers wouldn’t be ideal in real life), but despite this data being very tongue in cheek, it speaks VOLUMES about the type of man that makes women…you know…go WILD.
Tell me, oh gurus…why do you think we women DO THIS STUFF?
Women do it because oh…it feels so GOOOOOD! Bad boys allow women to unleash their most primal, sexual urges. They deliver a roller coaster ride of passion, danger, adventure and animalistic lust. Here’s a quote from a Don Draper fan that sums this up perfectly:
“Don Draper is sex. Don Draper is beauty. Don Draper is the kind of guy who will leave you at the side of the road, and have angry sex with you while making Kraft dinner.”
Like I said people…. Hooked on a feeling.
I mean, feelings are good, but come on. Get over it. Take a trip to the sex toy shop if you must, or find a better feeling. You deserve it!
Oh – and here’s a nifty infographic you can pin, post, tweet, pluck, whatevs…. Check it out (and don’t forget to comment on this post):
Single Dating Diva says
Thanks for sharing!! I’m so hot for bad boys!! It’s the challenge I think as well as the assertiveness, confidence and charisma … but deep down inside don’t we all just want the bad boy who’s nice just for us?
That’s what I have with MC Nugget, Diva… he’s so bad, he’s delish!
Love the bad ones. You don’t need to worry about hurting their feelings. You can be catty or talk dirty or just be a bitch and they just keep coming on. It’s very freeing.
Well now… we didn’t talk about if you WANT to be with bad guys and be a bad girl while you’re at it! Now that’s a whole OTHER blog post, but you’re right. Freeing indeed.
Scott Bury says
Oh, those bad boys. It’s so tempting to be bad, especially when you know the women love us that way. But then, they want to make us good. It can drive a nice guy nuts!
I know Scott! CHICKS!!! Right? LOL We’re a big bag of confusion, I say!
James Prescott says
So THAT’S why the bad guys always get the girl… 🙂
Sad, but true, James. Women need to get a clue. LOL
Elyse Salpeter says
I think the study above is skewed to fictitious characters. First, they are all hot, and second, who of us wouldn’t love to live above the law and get whatever they want? It’s that vicarious living scenario. As for real life, “the heart wants what the heart wants.” You may know he’s bad for you but you succumb anyway. It’s up to women to get control of their emotions and know their own self worth before they embark on a relationship that will only give them heartache.
NAILED IT Elyse.
Lisa M. Collins says
Bad boys in fantasy, books, TV, or movies is not anything like it in real life. You might go through a phase where you fall for that in real life, but most of us only have to have lightning strike once to get the message. Bad boys might be a fun appetizer but they will never be a seven course meal.
Onisha Ellis says
When I was dating the “good guy” there was a “bad guy” or two in the background. I chose the good guy and have never been sorry.
NICE Onisha! Smart one, you are!
Bob Nailor says
Great post about the bad boys but as with everything, there are TWO sides. I was the proverbial “good boy” and the women I dated always saw me as “big brother” or some such crap. And, yes, I seemed to be dating the “bad girl” image available. Why did the bad girls date me – because I was safe, or so they claimed. My heart was broken many times by them. I think it is the human nature to be attracted to the “bad” image but, deep down, desire the good, just scared of it until we realize what we truly want.
I think you’re right Bob. We’re mostly motivated by fear. Not just women, either.
Onisha Ellis says
You know James, your first response was a good one. Women are always wailing about there not being any good guys left after they have spent years chasing the “bad” guys.
Diane Rapp says
I guess I’m one of those girls who ran away from the bad boys and glad I did. I picked a shy one who took over a month just to kiss me, one who loved to dance, the guy who could be trusted. We’ve been married for 46 years this June. We’ve had arguments like any couple but we’re best friends, love to travel together, and always willing to share everything. Forget those BAD boys, look for the gentleman and get to know him before those hormones take over.
I WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE.