Have you ever heard a guy cry out in pure exasperation “Chicks!”?
They do that – especially when we girls aren’t around. It’s because we females stupefy, dumbfound, confound, and baffle men (you can tweet that).
The only reason I know this is because M.C. Nugget and I say it ourselves about other chicks all the time. You can’t blame us (or – er – them – or – er – men). Women come up with some of the quirkiest, zaniest things, most of the time for no good reason at all.
Nuggie doesn’t ever say it about me, though. The guy’s got it pretty good. He’s had hardly any chicky situations to deal with from me. I’ve probably got more testosterone than the average woman, which sort of makes me not quite understand “chicky” behavior either. Nuggie and I see eye to eye on this issue. This is where we are compadres.
But today was different.
It was as if the Big Guy upstairs needed a laugh and the heavens opened up so He could thwack me on the head with His magic wand (full of female juju). (That or it could have a little to do with another thing that’s going on in my body chemistry right now… I’ve alluded to this phenomena otherwise known as hormones (or lack thereof) in too many posts to count, but my most recent funny (or slightly scary) rant can be found here).
Nuggie and I were pleasantly going about our day. He was in the living room surrounded by and opening his mail, I was in the kitchen (about four strides away) making my lunch. It was a pleasant ordinary day until Nuggie said what I heard as either a slightly frustrated, or it could have been a somewhat satisfied sigh and “Paid the bills!”
I replied “How was it?” (because aren’t all bills painful? I wanted to be sure he was okay) and the rest went like this:
Nuggie: I don’t know.
Nuggie (slightly frustrated): I haven’t finished yet.
Me: What do you mean? What’d you say?
Nuggie (thoroughly confused now) and more loudly: I SAID I’M “PAYING THE BILLS!”
Me: OMG! I just heard “Paid the bills!” *Laughing*
That’s scary! If we’re THIS bad now, we’re in trouble! It’s gonna’ be like “EHHH? Sonny boy? What’s that? Pay for some thrills?”
We both chuckled about that for a minute.
The fact that THIS is where our conversations go during the day while we’re supposed to be working has me a little more than concerned, but it didn’t end there.
As I thought about our future conversation and compared it to what just happened (with Nuggie getting slightly peeved) and I imagined the same thing with a crotchety Nuggie, I got my feelings hurt.
Yes… I, Ms. Cheevious, the one with far more testosterone than the average female who is unable to understand “chicky” nonsense, took our future conversation to the only possible conclusion – that of old geezer Nuggie grumbling and growling at me because CONFOUND IT, YOU SHOULD TURN UP YOUR HEARING AID!
…and I GOT MY FEELINGS HURT.
I finally said out loud, “Honey! Future you is SO mean!!!“
You heard it here first. I went chicky. Just this once.
All together now: