Virtual Plans and the Flakes of LA

Sheila and I were talking about friendship.  We are pretty lucky for ours.  Especially in Los Angeles. People are flaky here.  Okay – not to diss the people in LA. People are flaky everywhere.  Real, true friendship is so rare and such a hot commodity, though, it’s something to talk about.

Our friend Glasgow (named as such for his Scottish heritage and accent) insists that all people in Los Angeles are flaky.  He’s so bloody negative about it. You can’t really blame him, when you hear his story though!  One New Year’s Eve after he’d just moved here, he had no plans.  He was chatting with some friends who told him of and invited him enthusiastically to a party.  They said they’d pick him up at a certain time and place, and planned to make a night of it.  Glasgow got himself ready, was at the appointed place, on time, only to be stood up.  It gets worse.  His “friends” never returned his calls.  Ever.  He NEVER heard from them again. What is THAT all about?  That’s just plain RUDE, isn’t it?

Do you think they died?  HA HA.  That IS the natural reaction among NORMAL, kind, caring and thinking people, isn’t it? 

Hey, I’ve been victim myself here in LA.  It dates all the way back to when I was only twenty years old. I was a single mom, living in Denver, when I decided to take a much needed vacation out to Los Angeles over the Fourth of July. I called up a childhood friend, Roseanne, who was my partner in crime growing up, when I came out to Southern California for the summers.  We were both (presumably) excited about my coming out for the weekend. Roseanne even invited me to stay at her place, offering to pick me up at the airport. 

On the flight over, being the amicable, friendly sort that I am, I made friends with a couple of guys on the plane.  They were super sweet, super cute and gave me their phone numbers.  They said to give them a call if my friends and I wanted to meet up in San Diego – their destination.

I arrived at LAX and waited FOUR hours, (having left repeated messages on an answering machine – hey – it was the early 80’s) before I finally had to call my brother who lived in Valencia county to come and pick me up.  He was kind and gracious and offered for me to hang with he and his wife and kids for the weekend, (just what a single mom who’s free for the weekend wants to do) but I would have none of it.  I called the two boys I’d met, and they drove all the way up to Valencia to pick me up.  We drove down to San Diego in a cool convertible and partied all weekend with a big group of fun people. 

That was one FLAKY situation that worked out to my BENEFIT! HA! Thanks Roseanne!  Boy was THAT fun! 

Oh – and there was another time flakiness worked in my favor.  Not too long ago, all but two people I’d invited to a dinner party flaked.  Because of that, I was able to go (with one of my guests) to the Santa Monica Pier, see Fallout Boy perform a surprise concert, and get into the Victoria’s Secret Pink Party.  If my friends hadn’t flaked I may have never met Fred the Wonder Chicken, seen Fallout Boy at such a cool venue, or gotten free drinks at a Victoria’s Secret party!  Now THAT was cool. 

Hey!  I have pretty good luck when people flake!

If you are new here, welcome!  I am so glad you chose to stop by!  We have fun in here, so watch out! 

What do you think it is though, that makes people flake?  Do you think they are just mushy and can’t be honest, or maybe they don’t know how to be honest, so they just lie about their plans in the first place, never intending to follow through?  Maybe.

Listen to me. I know this to be true: LA is FULL of good, solid, quality people.  It’s true!  I know each of them.  Ha ha!  I’m just kidding.  There are loads, and I am continually thoroughly pleased to meet them.

But I do have another theory. (Are you surprised?!)

Be afraid, people.  Be very afraid.  In the next few paragraphs, you may actually begin to think you have traveled or transported to some other blog.  Don’t let the intelligent writing and sharp analysis of human behavior fool you.  It is still me, Ms. Cheevious.  I have learned over the years not to ignore, but to go with my feelings. Today I’m feeling REALLY INTELLECTUAL.  Okay? 

So, I think flakiness is more about the world we live in.  We are spoiled.  We have so many ways to connect with people, we can’t keep up!  It’s really gotten pretty ridiculous over recent years, if you think about it! 

In the beginning things were simpler.  A man’s word was his word.  If he said he’d be somewhere, he was there.  That was back when people wouldn’t do business with you if you flaked.  It was also when they used smoke signals to send messages. 

After smoke signals, came the town crier, the stage coach, the US Postal Service, the telegraph and finally, the mother of all inventions in communications, the telephone.  Ah, that long lost original mainstay of modern communication.  Yes – these devices are still around and available today.  I swear!  I hear one ring from my kitchen wall every once in a while. 

Since then we’ve become much more sophisticated in communications with conveniences like FedEx, and – of course – the Internet. Why, the Internet has alleviated our need to ever even leave our homes!  People work from home, and surf the Internet ad nauseam. The networking sites like Myspace, Facebook, LinkedIn, Friendster are just a tiny microcosm of the thousands of connection sites out there!  Imeen, Itunes and Napster (just to name a few) are there for sharing music, and Flicker, Kodak, PhotoBucket – or whatever –  I don’t even know all the names of sites for sharing photos. Then you have dating sites like,, J-Date, Fitness Singles, you name it.  If you want to get connected, you can go to the Internet and get lost in a sea of virtual connections – which sometimes turn into like, real, actual, physical connections.

I won’t go on and on here, but there are all the other modes of communication consuming us as well, like cell phones, cell phone texts, email, instant messaging.  It’s just CRAZY!

Hey – I admit it.  When it comes to utilizing modern convenience to get my point across – I’m guilty as charged. I’ll even throw up a smoke signal if I think it’ll get some attention when I need it! As a matter of fact, I am known for my TEXTING capabilities. I’m an expert texter. I can send a text blind-folded, with one arm tied behind my back (ha ha).

But we are talking about flakiness, aren’t we?  Well, that’s just my point! 

I think all of this CONVENIENCE has made things, well, too convenient for people.  They flutter around with little or no accountability, little or no responsibility to anyone or anything, and shun any sort of solid commitment.  It’s almost like all that time on-line, virtually connecting and networking with people has caused them to get their wires crossed.  Somehow now, even their plans or commitments are virtual.  Their promise to meet your for a drink is just as VIRTUAL as the ELEPHANT they threw at someone on FACEBOOK (don’t ask).  Why not? It’s CONVENIENT.

That said, is it possible that the convenience of the Internet has created or at the very least enabled an entire generation of flakes?  Particularly in large cities like LA, where these networking websites and ways of making ourselves known on-line are the most successful?

Well. No. 

Now don’t get your panties in a bunch.  I know I took you around the block to get next door, but the truth is, flakiness among people goes way back – probably to the beginning of time.  I’m sure Cro-Magnum Man had his share of hot cave chicks flake on him when it came time to let him clunk them on the head with his club and drag them by the hair back to the cave.  Hey, whatever happened to that hair pulling, head clunking man, anyway?  That’s a MAN’S MAN if there ever was one, but I digress.  (hee hee, just kidding.  I like to be cherished, I really do. It’s just that well, I like to have fun too, but again, I digress).

I admit.  I don’t have the answers to the compelling question of the Flakes in LA, or anywhere else for that matter. But I don’t think about it too much, really.  Remember?  I have GREAT things happen when people flake!  Why do I care?  ha ha!

I’ll share with you one of my personal mottos – which I truly do believe:  “You never know what’s coming around the corner.”  Deep, huh?  Well it’s true.  People can flake, and open up a world of other possibilities!  So just get out their and enjoy every single stinkin’ moment, would you?

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuuuhhhh!!


Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis

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