I WOULD *NEVER* DO THAT
So, I was thinking about all this cyber terrorism going on – the hack on Sony – the hack on ME – yep… my website was hacked and down for three weeks at the hands of muslim extremist hackers. Because we ALL know what a threat I and my 1000 visitors per day are to them. I mean, I don’t blame them, really. I can be f-ing SCARY. In fact, even as I type this – BAM – another terrorist muslim extremist faction drops – BAM – just like that. DROPS LIKE A FLY.
Remember what happened to the Syrian Electronic Army, after I wrote that one article?
Of course you don’t. I’m THAT good.
But Nuggie and I discussed this at length over cocktails recently. It’s not just terrorists, or cyber terrorists. It’s not just muslim extremists either. We now have homegrown terrorism to worry about. Yep. It’s a THING now. The Boston bombers were just one example.
Based on this, I have decided I would actually PREFER the NSA resume eavesdropping tactics. I’d be a little surprised if people didn’t start begging for it, really.
So the NSA has my permission. They should keep up the good work, and not stand for any other countries showing us who the cyber-bosses are.
BUT IT HAS TO BE WITHIN LIMITS.
Because, I could totally see the NSA accidentally coming after me.
We can’t really blame them, can we? Poor NSA. All the signs could potentially point to me being a major threat, right? You know, cuz I always seem to make money appear from out of nowhere n’ stuff.
It could happen…
NSA: We see you were in some debt recently, ma’am. But we also see you’ve made some large deposits into your bank account… And then their was the hack of your website…. which begs the question:
WHY WOULDN’T YOU SELL SECRETS TO NORTH KOREA? DID YOU? AND DID YOU MAKE A DEAL THAT WENT HORRIBLY WRONG? DID THEY HACK YOUR WEBSITE? TELL US!
ME: Wait…. North Korea is buying secrets? What kind of secrets?
NSA: And what kind of code name is this MS. CHEEVIOUS? And who is this MC NUGGET? Some kind of agent? If so, he’s not a very good agent. He never gets anything done, but he seems to be everywhere.
I’m just saying. We need the NSA’s protection, people. Americans should be NUMERO UNO at cyber war games. This means we can snoop, and pay attention, but we do NOT make stupid mistakes and we do NOT falsely accuse people. We have to KNOW our shit.
I mean, even though I have some really great stories and would probably fold like a cheap suit when asked to sell my juicy secrets… conduct any sort of business with or sell anything to North Korea? Um, NO. I would NEVER do that.
#MomFactor: Watch what your kids are into online and do NOT let them write threatening articles or poke fun at the Syrian Electronic, or any other cyber army. It just doesn’t pay.
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Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.
For your viewing pleasure, here is a screenshot of what my website looked like before my über talented computer guy took my site back:
(you can click the image to see the full size and scare the bujeebies outta you):
James Prescott says
I love your writing Ms.Cheevious – thanks for this warning…really important to remember. I would never do it either 🙂
Well thank you Mr. Prescott! You are the BOMB!!!
You should absolutely be watched…hehehehe.
HAHA – I KNOW, RIGHT Tara? LOL
Charles Dougherty says
They’re really gonna be after you, now! Wait until they find out you’ve got an iPhone, though. That’ll fix ’em.
Ahhh well, this is the plight of the voice among the peoples… Right?
Scott Bury says
It’s increasingly obvious that posting anything remotely political on social media is useless. In your example, dangerous.
That being said, while I agree there is a use for protective surveillance, we have to remember that in our society, which we want to remain open and free, there have to be strict definitions and limits on not only surveillance but on the information gathered through it. While preventing terror attacks is essential, it’s all too easy for “protecting the people” to go to “protecting the state” to “protecting the current government” to “protecting the party in charge.”
It may sound far-fetched, even paranoid, but in my country I’ve seen and read a lot of statements from politicians in the currently ruling party to the effect that “if you’re not with us, you’re against us,” and “If you don’t agree with us, you’re anti-Canadian.”
Sorry to sound a low note. Merry Christmas, and keep up the awesome.
I TOTALLY knew you would jump on this one. Glad to hear you were up to the task! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Scott! XO
Bob Nailor says
(Coded message included) Be wise in your choice of carefully chosen words. When they decide to arbitrarily move forward, are you going to be ever watchful of what you say and sing</b? Yes, you can get your wish. It might be taken seriously. Beware of dangerous fluff.
Awe – don’t you worry about me, Bob. Me thinks the perpetrators are not really interested in me, but more so in wielding their power to overtake as many blogs as possible. It’s part of a code they have. LOL
Elyse Salpeter says
My publisher for my first YA book asked me to change my villains. I had taken on the Taliban and while they agreed the story worked, and approved it, they got scared right before publication and had me change the villain to a more innocuous whitebread scientist. It’s a sad day when our freedom of speech can be dictated because of fear. While the story is more marketable, and safer now, I do think about the fact that it wasn’t originally the story I was going to tell.
Now THAT is sad, Elyse! I know for a fact the book with ME as the star was yanked from the publisher for such shenanigans. It was a true story and they wanted it fictionalized or permission granted from the ex-husband… WHATEVS. That was never going to happen. LOL! (Not that he wouldn’t give permission, but it wasn’t going to be asked. He already owned all of his behavior and acknowledged it all as true, so we are all good)… but you know – I HATE CENSORSHIP. And I do NOT ascribe to changing the way we handle things based on fear – OBVIOUSLY. Here I am, right?
Inasmuch as I seldom write or say anything interesting I have no fear of surveillance. Let them peek. There’s lots going on thither and yon that poses serious future threat and deserves surreptitious watching. Indeed I have more fear of the American Civil Liberties Union. They would let a group, supposedly under the protection of the Constitution, maintain an organization that harbors individuals motivated to engage in terror.
You are correct Eaeme!! At least I *think* so! LOL!! Good to see you here again my friend! XO