I told you guys the story of my sister and I flying out to spruce up the family home a few weeks ago, but I left out a little incident that happened when we went to listen to our baby brother’s hard rock band that weekend.
What do you call two over-forty, totally white chicks at an extremely loud heavy metal concert? LOST.
But we were totally game! You have to understand that prior to this, WE WERE READY TO ROCK! We’d been ready all day. After working our fingers to the bone for two days straight, a rock-n-roll night would be had by all, dammit. We cranked Bohemian Rhapsody, on the way over in the car and sang every word of that song, Wayne’s World style, to prepare.
So, when our bro’s band played only original songs, we were a little deflated we wouldn’t get to hear our favorite Motley Crue song (everyone has one, right? Girls, Girls, Girls? That’s one, right?). Still, in a show of support, we got up to dance a few times anyway.
Then the second act came on. The guy sang in alternating tones: deep and scary, mixed with equal parts “frat boy on helium”. Occasionally he threw in a screamy-terror voice – the kind that sounded like he had a gnarly case of laryngitis and made me want to run up and give him a throat lozenge. But this is where I lost it. You guys, the guy was running around our little crowd of about thirty, zigging and zagging. He looked like a pin ball machine.
What got me was the guy had a cool microphone that allowed him to run out into the crowd. I’m sure he was doing the best he could, but dang, I would have RULED that thing. I would have climbed up on the speakers singing, lured the chicks in the crowd to dance and tear their shirts off… This guy just sort of ran back and forth, and back and forth… And occasionally to and fro.
I tried to laugh and joke about it with my sister, but trying to communicate with her was useless. I chuckled in her ear and told her my hilarious observations and she stared blankly at me. She couldn’t hear a word I was saying.
So, we pulled out the big guns.
Gotta love technology, if not for the sole purpose of delivering zingers.
If you liked the Motley Crue artwork, give a visit to this talented artist’s page: http://nakamarusama.deviantart.com/art/Mick-Mars-paper-child-345610900
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