There is something you should know before reading any further: I had my ovaries and tubes taken out on January 6, 2012.
And I mean that literally. You really SHOULD know this. If you read my blogs with the stalker-like commitment I’ve come to know and love, and I’ve worked so hard to teach you, you’d KNOW I was having all these big procedures.
In any case, if you did NOT know, well, now you do. In a nutshell- I have the BRCA2 Genetic Mutation for Breast and Ovarian Cancer. That’s some scary medical speak for “my [cancer] risk is bigger than your risk. So there.”
These “big procedures” were all proactive. There was no stinkin’ cancer there. But I’m not one to play against the odds. I like to win.
Anyway – on to my story.
M.C. Nugget* and I were talking about this whole thing the day after my procedure (that would be the Saturday before last). We discussed whether the hormone medications they prescribed seemed to be working, what were the pros and cons of medical pills vs. all natural, etc. Then Nuggie said, “Well you seem like you’re in pretty good spirits…” in a hopeful, sweet, timid ‘I-hope-she-won’t-hurt-me’ tone (mwaahha ha haaaaa).
Let me back things up here a bit and remind you that I chose to split my various medical procedures up. I opted to have a double mastectomy as well as my tubes and ovaries removed (you can read more in “I’m Too Sexy For My Genes“). I underwent the double mastectomy and reconstruction first. The reason I did not opt to undergo both surgeries at once was because it was just before the holidays, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. What would the recovery be like, and more importantly, would I be a hormonal mess? Would I be running around trying to get ready for the holidays, with my hair on fire? Would I suffer alternating bouts of uncontrollable laughter, to screaming… then weeping? (and we’re only talking about Nuggie here!) So, I did myself and everyone else around me a favor by splitting them up.
Nuggie’s comment about my “good spirits” was in reference to our jokes about that.
We then had a witty little discourse that went something like this:
ME: You know, my sister Ice Tay* had a full hysterectomy, and I remember she use to still suffer the effects of PMS. I’m not sure if she still does.
NUGGIE: Really? Like mood swings and cramps and stuff?
ME: Yep. So, you never know. I could be all happy one minute, and then – BAM – It’s just like I never lost my ovaries. What is it that people who lose a limb suffer from?
NUGGIE: You mean Phantom Limb? (laughing)
ME: Yeah! That’s it. I might get Phantom Ovary, ya never know. So watch out.
We laughed of course — mostly at how funny we think we are. But it was a good laugh, for sure.
Then, (and there is always a “then”) I woke up this morning with that familiar achy, lower back pain that would visit me now and then, pre-ovary removal. OY. Could it be??? Phantom Ovary!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
All I can say is, for the sake of all I know and love, I hope not — or — GOD HELP THEM.
That’s it my lovelies. That’s all I got. Have a lovely week! Be sure to keep tuning in to youtube, and reading these posts, because Nuggie is preparing a video of our good times from 2012 – and with some NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE!
Love you people!!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!
*For you newbies out there, Nuggie, aka M.C. Nugget, and Emcee Nugget, is my beau – also formerly known as Fred the Wonder Chicken or FWC. Ice Tay is one of my sisters. I assign “aliases” to all of my friends and family, so their antics and embarrassing moments can remain anonymous. I am the only person I know who doesn’t care if people know what I’ve been up to.
Register to receive my blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. (Be sure to confirm when you receive your email!)
You can also follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter
All Blog content copyright 2011, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious
Nice! I hope we will hear more adventures of The Phantom Ovary!…or not…for you and Nugs sake! Love ya both! xo
Ms. Cheevious says
Hey Diane! thanks for commenting! Oh you can bet we’ll be providing the PO play by play… xo
HAHAHAHA! That was SUPERB. Can I get a Phantom Ovary without losing mine? lol
Girlygirl – you know it. get you your Phantom Ovary girlfriend and we will ROLL some people. sound good? lol xoxo
hey lady! I have a PO too. Well mine isn’t a phantom like a phantom limb – mine is just lost. Yeah you heard me right – lost!!
Okay first some explaining to do.
I also had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons – though more reactive than proactive like you (my strong, brave friend). Since I was at the ripe old age of 34 I chose to keep one ovary so I wouldn’t go directly into emotional and hormonal hell (braahha ha haaaaawwwww).
So I kept my left ovary. Everything including the kitchen sink was taken out (really I swear they saw a spout but it might have been one of my tubes) anyhow –
back to my left ovary since my tubes and everything else was gone they (doctors) attached it to my pelvic muscle. Cause think about it – if they don’t attach it then it would be free floating like in space (abdominal space that is) and who knows where it would have ended up right???? hehehehehehe I actually remembering picturing it (floating along in uncharted territory like a big blob) after the surgery but that might have been the pain meds. (ha)
so two years ago when a CT scan showed I had an ovarian cyst – I was like WHAT??? And my doctor was like WHERE??? because on the ultrasound they literally COULD NOT FIND IT (the ovary). My doctor was convinced that the CT had showed not a cyst but the actual ovary. But on the ultrasound they didn’t see anything.
I know there is a theory ‘if you don’t use it you’ll lose it’ but I didn’t think it applied here. So I’m like – ok so it didn’t just disappear – oh where oh where did lefty go.
I was not to be calmed by the theory that the CT must have just seen my ovary but the US showed nothing (nada) NOT – so I said to the doctor – find it pleeasssee
At this point I’m about ready to send in a search party – (the doctor) into my cavern of abdominal space. So the doctor did a couple of US from different angles – you gals know what I mean so you can go ohhh- guys just think (blah blah blah) and don’t wonder what the hell I’m talking about.
they eventually found what they think (yes THINK) is my ovary lodged down in pelvic muscle and that this is the infamous blob on the CT. Actually they described it as more of a shriveled up, puny, little thing, the size of a raisin or something. Thanks now I have a whole new vision of my ovary.
Soo I’ve decided that the sighting of something lodged around where it was originally placed is better than no visual at all, and I have called off the excavation team.
But is it really my ovary — I don’t know for sure —
sooo I declare that I have a PO as well — that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
so girlfriend I’m with ya!!! Let’s ROLL some peeps
THAT is soooooo hysterical! Good one! I just LOVED IT! You guys crack me up – I needed a good laugh today!
Okay – first of all @Kris. Hysterical! BUT – I have to ask, and here I’m showing my medical idiocy, how can an ovary do it’s job of producing hormones, when the hormones supposedly flow into the tubes and uterus? And how in the hell did they attach it to a muscle with it still functioning and producing hormones? There something wrong in upstate NY that’s all I can say. lol.. But okay. I give. You can be on the P.O. team and come with when we ROLL those peeps. Which peeps are we rolling, again? lol
and @Wak – hee hee – thanks! I thought you’d especially enjoy this one. XOXO
well lady – I also do not know the medical stuff but they (doctors) claim that from blood tests they can tell that my ovary is still producing estrogen etc like it is supposed to.
so who knows — I do remember right after my surgery having a couple of weeks of hot flashes etc so I’m glad it is still functioning — which was what the CT and US were supposed for figure out. I had the hysterectomy since I was having ovarian cysts that burst each month which was so NOT fun…
so I don’t know – I doubt my raisin is doing much of anything these days.. 🙂
You peeps are too funny! Just glad everything is alright!
@Diane! I apologize for just now getting a reply to you – I actually posted one, or so I thought. Cyber gremlins stole it… But thanks so much for the comment… and yes P.O. adventures forthcoming! XO
@Laura: Love love love you – and thanks for comments. I always crave them. lol