IT MAY BE TIME TO SWITCH BACK TO THE REAL THING
#DailyMischief
I’ve been a decaffeinated coffee drinker for years. I made the switch in college, when I went to my private piano session one fateful day (I was a serious music student) to take an important “test” only to have to start over a few times because my hands were shaky. My piano professor whom I admired greatly Dr. Esther Saxon, knew something was awry. She knew ME. She’d been amazed (and I’m sure quite pleased) at my determination to dive into an art form though I was extremely late to the party. She’d seen me make incredible strides and overcome great obstacles as I struggled to make my too-old-at-twenty-five-to-just-now-start-to-learn-this-skill hands produce anything other than a cacophony of missed notes and rhythms. Let’s just say I was the BEST.BEGINNER.EVER.
The culprit? Caffeine. I’d been to Marvelous Muffins on Shelter Island Drive in San Diego and guzzled down a jumbo flavored coffee that morning. When Dr. Saxon scribbled out a 9 out of 10 or some such nonsense for my test score, I decided in that instant I’d have to give up the stuff STAT if I ever wanted to master jazz piano and become the first Diana Krall (this was before she was plucking out standards for anyone really – dammit. “I could’ve been a contender!!!”).
I’ll get to my anecdote in a moment, but not before this true confession: I still backslide into the evils of regular coffee now and again on occasion. Oh sure, I quit the stuff cold turkey and slept for days, but in truth, it is my penchant for flavored (Creme Brûlée, my all time favorite) coffee that has kept me steadily weaning myself off the leaded stuff for years now. Just try to find a coffee house that actually brews flavored coffee, much less decaf. I dare you. So, whenever I find a place with flavored coffee, I order decaf with a “splash of flavor.”
When I realized I could brew the stuff on my own at home, I began to reserve the occasional indulgence in the real stuff for those times when I NEED TO STAY AWAKE or when — how shall I put this? I need work on my plumbing. You know… the pipes cleaned? The caffeine in coffee is a powerful – uh – laxative.
Healthy, I know. We all have our vices.
Then, yesterday, M.C. Nugget and I had to wake up at 4:30 AM to catch our 7 AM flight to Boston. We went to bed around 11:30 PM. I was already exhausted from teaching Pilates Plus classes before dawn that day and worried how I would make it. Before we went to bed and coffees were being made (Nuggie is a fully-leaded kinda fella), I decided to forgo mine and drink his coffee in the morning.
YOU GUYS! I DRANK TWO LARGE FULLY CHARGED, CAFFEINATED CUPS OF JOE.
COUNT EM. TWO.
The rest of the early morning drudge moved surprisingly quickly.
Once we boarded, I snuck off to the bathroom before take off.
An aside you should know: I channel my best mommy any time I am in a public restroom. You’ll see me wiping down the counter with dry paper towels after washing my hands, leaving the entire space sparkling for the next person. I know I shouldn’t bother, because god knows no one else seems to care – particularly women, who seem to use public restrooms as the one place on earth they can unleash every disgusting habit known to mankind. (I know this having worked in restaurants and bars, and seen the evidence first hand. Women’s bathrooms are WAY more disgusting than men’s).
When I stepped into the claustrophobic lavatory my cute slide shoes stuck to and peeled off the floor with that annoying suction sound. I looked down thinking the airline’s ground crew had forgotten to clean the floor, but no. It looked perfectly clean.
As I was washing my hands and about to wipe down the entire stainless steel sink area, I looked at the damp paper towel. I looked at the floor.
I grabbed a couple more paper towels, added water and dropped them on the tiny floor. I took my cute slide and I slid the paper towels around, cleaning the sticky floor. I grabbed a handful of dry paper towels, grabbed the wet and dirty towels and wiped the bottoms of my shoes off. I dried everything off for good measure.
I slinked back to my seat rather proud f myself, and announced to Nuggie what I’d done. I speedily chattered away, happy as a seagull with a mouth full of fish, until I said,
“Of course, I’m a little of hyped up on coffee.”
He looked at me with what I thought was his “I’ve been betrayed” look. Like I’d withheld a secret, frenzied, clean-freak part of my personality from him and our happy home. Then he said,
“I think it’s time for you to switch back to the real thing.”
THIS prompts such posts as this on facebook (if you can’t see it below, click here):
MsCheevious
Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis
REAL Coffee: The ticket to our super clean house?? Hmm. Decaf is now and forever Banished!!
Don’t be slipping me the real stuff now, Nuggie! I will KNOW. And I know where you live! LOL!!!
I have been decaffeinated for years, too. But there are times the full-lead will be slipped to me by my sister-in-law who only drinks the real thing. On those days, I am, like you, a tad more productive and bedtime doesn’t come until something like 5AM!!! If you don’t want to go full-lead coffee, try the chocolate covered coffee beans. They’re great to chew on. Mmm… caffeine.. uh, I mean, chocolate.
I don’t sleep either when I’m caffeined up Bob… hahaha —- yea…. mmmmm… chocolate!!!
You are so funny! Need to be aware of what caffeine can be slipped into, as well. A sales clerk at a vitamin store had recommended a green drink to me. He said he had tons of allergies and usually couldn’t handle green drinks. But this one his stomach agreed with his stomach and gave him heaps of energy, which he attributed to better nutrient absorption. It gave my hubby and I heaps of energy, too, and put us quite on edge. After a little research on ingredients, we discovered one ingredient was a fancy name for coffee beans! Mystery solved. The formerly lethargic sales clerk was riding high on caffeine. 🙂
OMG Elyse! YEAH! So many products sneak in COPIOUS amounts of caffeine! That’s funny (or scary) that clerk was ignorant about it. LOL
During the Vietnam War I had a contract with the US Navy Pacific Fleet Antisubmarine Warfare Headquarters in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii to develop a database for transpacific shipping. For $1.00 per week we could drink all of the navy coffee we wished. It was always black and rumors were that spoons dissolved in it. Hawaii heat makes one thirsty, coffee is wet, drink lots. It never affected my sleep, but after 18 months my hands had serious DT’s. I quit, drank hot water in cups for a few years, quit that too. Some years ago my olfactory sense went south (along with a bunch of other things) and I can no longer smell or taste coffee, asleep or awake. If it’s free and someone offers it, I’ll drink a bit, but with no noticeable effects. As exciting as a 0-0 in soccer.
Well that’s just kinda boring Eaeme! No noticeable effects? Then, as they say… WHY BOTHER? lol