Yep. You guessed it! Last Sunday I had the incredible privelege of attending the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards. I must say, it was a princess’ dream come true!
If you are new here – WELCOME to my big Emmy night! I’m so glad you stopped by. Normally I try to fill my posts with funny little anecdotes and quips, but there is just SOOOO much to tell this time, I’m going to give you the lowdown as quickly as possible on my Emmy DAY (getting prepared), and the show. Then I’ll go into the fun stuff — AFTER the show!
It happened like this:
My friend Musicality (a guy I use to work for on all the MTV shows, and a very good friend) obtained premium tickets from someone else working on the Emmy’s.
Originally Musicality and I planned to go together, but the Friday prior to the show, he came down with a cold or something, and couldn’t commit to making the show. In the interest of show business (you know – all that business about how “The Show Must Go On” – and based on the fact that we both just KNEW the Emmy’s could not air live without me in attendance) Musicality offered both tickets to me! He’s such a gem.
“You have to bring someone that’s attractive and knows how to dress,” he stressed, “These seats are on-camera. I don’t want them to not seat you there because you bring someone that isn’t dressed appropriately.” He is forever the big brother.
I was then faced with the dilemma of finding the right date for the show – and on the Friday before the big event. I offered it to Fred the Wonder Chicken, who wanted to come, but he would have had to cut his out of town trip short, without knowing whether we’d get into any of the parties afterward. He opted out. He could’nt see going through all of that just to attend the show (which tends to be boring, and did not surprise us otherwise this year), when the true fun of these events is in the socializing and – well – the PARTIES!
I then asked Brittany – my friend who is an on-air personality with a network that shall not be named. (Her name is changed here as well). She was ecstatic, but didn’t think she could get herself out here in time from New York. I moved on to Sheila, who was game, but not emotionally invested. She use to be married to a man in the business, and having lived for years in LA just knew these opportunities do present themselves from time to time. She knew if she didn’t go this time, the chance to attend could easily present itself again in the future.
I’ll spare you all the details, but as soon as Britt hung up the phone, she felt a HUGE swell of remorse. The Emmy’s were HER show – so to speak. She’d been nominated for a daytime Emmy once, and keeps the annual show date on her calendar so she can try to make it each year.
Needless to say, Britt found a way to hop a plane, buy a dress and pull it all together by Sunday morning, when she arrived on my doorstep at about 10 AM from New York.
The day was incredibly crazy. I tried my BEAUTIFUL dress on for Britt – who loved it.
Pre-Hair & Makeup
Since I am sharing pictures here, I must warn you – I lost my brain on Emmy Day. I don’t know where it went kiddies! I was so consumed with getting the dress, getting the hair and the makeup and making sure I had absolutely everything, that in the craziness we FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES to document our frolicking around Los Angeles! For much of the evening, I even FORGOT to bring my camera! Not only that, any pictures of my friends are blurred to protect their identities, but you will get the gist.
Now back to the story:
Somewhere along the line I was able to contact an old friend that use to do all the limousine coordinating on the shows I worked for. He arranged it so that Britt and I had a car for the entire evening! And it was absolutely FREE. Can you imagine? It was spectacular!
My girlfriend Britt use to work for a network that enabled her to do many of these grand events over the years. She was quick to remind me that she needed to eat, and watch herself throughout the day, so that she would last for the long haul. Like the great friend I am, I listened. I nodded. Then I proceeded to munch lightly on carrots and caffeine free Diet Coke all day long, forgetting to eat anything of substance at all.
We had a celebratory drink at about 2:45 pm, and at 3 o’clock our driver arrived to collect us. We figured since red carpet started at 3:30 pm, it would give us plenty of time to get downtown to the Nokia Theatre for our grand entrance.
Our driver, Art, came inside and we immediately enlisted his photographic skills to begin chronicaling our evening.
Posing without a flash
One of the ONLY good photos we got ALL night! I took Britt out of the photo
to protect her identity! SORRY!
So, we hopped into our black suburban at the able hands of Art the Driver, and set off for the Nokia.
On the approach, we became keenly aware (and I say that with real depth of meaning – we were KEENLY aware) that something had gone horribly wrong. The limo line was not moving at all. We had our little cocktails in the back seat and had been preoccupied up to this point, but after about 45 minutes of sitting still, it was getting just downright ridiculous. Finally, someone came along to explain that the Nokia had received a bomb scare, but that hopefully things would be moving along soon.
Now, I’ve lived in LA before. I was there during Nine-Eleven, and I feel as though I KNOW when to take something seriously. This, I just took as a routine precaution, that was probably taking WAY TOO LONG, because of some joker who decided to call in a bomb threat.
I felt that way, that is, until I saw the men being handcuffed on the side of the road. These are taken (as the remaining photos are) from my cell phone – because, after EVERYTHING, Britt and I BOTH forgot our cameras back at my place!
When I saw these guys handcuffed on the side of the road, I made the brilliant observation of “Wow! I guess it was a REAL threat!” We laughed at that.
When we FINALLY turned the corner to the Nokia, we realized we had been in the limo line for over two hours, and that red carpet arrivals were probably over. We knew we’d be lucky to make it into our seats on time, at this point! We made our way to our seats, because red carpet had indeed ended, and sat down.
Our seats were directly on the stage, “stage-left,” which means if you are facing the stage from the audience, we were on the right side. The seats were PHENOMENAL. It was so exciting being so close and able to watch the reactions on celebrities’ faces, as awards were given and jokes were told. We felt so lucky. It wasn’t until after we left, and we saw the show on television at the first party (the show was tape-delayed in Los Angeles), that we realized our seats were not lit. It didn’t even look like we were there for most of the show.
Occasionally the camera would sweep the auditorium and you could make out two BOUFFANT blond hair do’s. Britt and I were laughing at that. At least WE knew where to look for ourselves! HA! Here is a picture of the stage, during Josh Groban’s incredible and funny performance. The red and gold arrow points to our seats in the DARK, but you see how excellent they were!
After about two and a half hours, and numerous unnecessary trips to the Restroom of the Stars (located coincidentally right outside the auditorium exit, Stage-Left, next to our seats), we decided it was time to leave. The highlight of the show for me was both Josh Groban’s performance, and Don Rickles, when he presented with Kathy Griffith. It was so hilarious! I just finished reading his book, Rickles’ Book: A Memoir, so it resonated with me, and made me laugh. I love that guy.
Once again, we hopped into our black Suburban. We had three parties to attend: The FX Network Party at LA’s Foxtail, the Comedy Central Party at LA’s STK, and the TV Guide Party at The Kress in Hollywood.
Okay people, here’s where it gets fun and interesting! Sorry for the delay! I had to set it up for you, though!
Britt and I walked in and were immediately treated like Hollywood Royalty. They offered each of us their signature lemonade sort of concoction with Gin, served in a martini glass. We each accepted and took a seat at a premier table. We were early, so we had our pick of tables.
Waitresses began swooning over us, trying to stuff goat cheese and fig pizza down our faces, and so many other scrumptious appetizers, I can’t even recall to describe them. I watched as Britt ate everything they gave her, and I continued to “think thin” and ate little or nothing. I drank my first Lemonade drink, and accepted a second. This was just too fabulous!
I went to the front door and asked if my good friends Lucy & Ricky, who were on their way to the TV Guide Party, could be added to the guest list. A few minutes later they came to our table and confirmed that “yes, your guests would be more than welcome.” I immediately sent out a smoke signal to Lucy & Ricky, imploring them to stop by and eat a fabulous dinner prior to drinking the night away at TV Guide.
A few minutes later, and half-way into a Grey Goose Martini, I realized Lucy & Ricky were standing next to our table, waiting for us to notice them. I was so thrilled. I immediately went to work on their behalf and brought the WireImage photographer over to photograph each of my friends/clients. They obliged, and we ate, drank and were merry for a short while.
Though this is the location where I met my demise (in terms of holding onto sobriety), we managed to get some photos of me with my cell phone. I am SUCH a ham! Britt and Lucy are too. I wish I could show you the photos of she, Lucy & Ricky. They were awesome!
Soon enough it was time to move on to the next party. Somewhere during the evening, Brit received word from TV Guide that it may not be as easy as we thought for us to get into the party. We determined to send Lucy & Ricky as the advance party, to suss things out and work their magic to get us in.
Next it was time for Comedy Central, and my experience as a Star STALKER.
Here is where things became a blur. Brit and I walked into STK, and I really hardly remember it. Apparently all of the Comedy Central and Wire Image photographers started shooting photos of us. I announced who Britt was, and apparently – as Britt told me later – I tried to just walk off. They would have none of it. “WHO ARE YOU?” they asked. “Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood!” I said, as I fluttered away.
Can you believe it!?? My big chance to say something smart like my NAME and “Author of Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood” and I BLOW IT! GEEZ!! That is what I get for drinking on an empty stomach on an important night like EMMY night! Maybe I’M the one who needed a publicist! ha ha!
Jimmy Kimmel was the big celebrity at this party. Well – there were probably more, but he was the first we came upon, and it stuck like glue to my brain. I kept going up to him and chatting. I said how I had a friend who was the grip on his show. He asked who it was, and all of the sudden, of course – my mind went blank! I could NOT for the LIFE OF ME remember who it it was. I kept thinking of a producer I’d worked with and could not think of it! I sounded so ridiculous, but I SWEAR, I DO KNOW someone who works on the show! I still can’t think of his name, but I think I killed those brain cells with alcohol!
Here is when I realized I’d just had way too much to drink: I said something – I have no idea what – but it elicited an uncomfortable sounding response from Jimmy Kimmel – something like “No. I don’t go for that kind of thing. ” or “I’m not up for that.” I have NO idea what I was trying to say – probably something along the lines of power networking, and I REALLY have no idea what it came out like, but somehow suddenly I realized I was now relegated to STAR STALKER status, and I walked straight over to Britt who was having a cocktail with some guy she’d just met. I stepped between them and was visibly VERY upset. I opened my eyes very wide and raised my eyebrows to let her know something had just happened that went horribly wrong, and I pulled her aside to tell her. She agreed we should probably leave the party, and we were off. Gotta love it when your friend agrees that you blew it SO bad, it was now time to LEAVE a very cool party. HA
PIT STOP: MY HOUSE
We decided to run by my place, since we’d forgotten our cameras, and also because my brand new, yet VERY COOL shoes were killing me. All I remember is running around my place, and landing in my closet deciding (on my own, full of alcohol) that my six inch platform heels would be the best option for my sore feet. I know what I wasthinking – that these shoes were actually comfortable – and they are. But they are TOUGH to walk in SOBER, let alone inebbriated – which was my obvious condition at this point!
I stumbled out to the car, and we headed over to the TV GUIDE PARTY. The PARTY OF ALL PARTIES, to meet up with our advance team, Ricky & Lucy. Little did I know I would be sexy dancing with the NBA in a very short time.
FINAL STOP: THE KRESS, HOLLYWOOD
Ahhh, I remembered The Kress all too well. Fred the Wonder Chicken and I had gone there for an MTV Video Music Awards Kick Off Party, only to be turned away at the red carpet. We were actually ON the list that night. Tonight Britt and I were not on the list, but Ricky & Lucy told us to come anyway, and we’d work it out.
My friend Lucy is an AMAZING freak of Hollywood Nature. She can work a party like there is no tomorrow – and in her mind, there isn’t – HA! By the time we arrived, Lucy was on the phone with Britt directing her to our rendezvous point. I don’t remember much of this, except at one point when Lucy & Ricky met us outside the party and we were standing near all the security for the party. Apparently I was rather loud-mouthed. Lucy had acquired two additional wrist bands, but one of them was broken. We were trying to figure out how to make it work, and I kept yelling, “No Britt! Put the Wrist Band on THIS WAY!!” It got so bad that Ricky had to walk me into the party ahead of everyone just to shut me up!
Then came my chance meeting with the NBA. At some point my friends made me sit down, and had cut me off. They kept saying how I needed to eat but there was no real food available. I was nervous to eat at this point, for fear of tossing my cookies. I have a foggy recollection of Lucy sitting in front of my face, force feeding me crackers, one right after another. I almost choked on those stinkin’ crackers.
Then I saw them. These EXTREMELY tall guys hovering on one end of the room. They were dressed like rappers, or so I thought, so I thought I’d better just go over and say hello. After all, I’d probably worked with them through MTV, right?
Apparently the tallest guy – geez, he must have been seven feet tall – Rasheed Wallace played for the Detroit Pistons, and was very keen on me (I know, again with that word). He was very flirtatious, I remember, and he kept putting his arm around my waist. Well – now that I am sober and thinking about it – it could be it was more about stabilizing me than any real attraction! I do recall that there were loads of photos taken, and at one INGENIOUS moment, I actually remembered I had my CAMERA!
Yep. I ran home to get my camera – and only managed to take ONE photo with it. And it was with RASHEED WALLACE of the Detroit Pistons! OH MY GOD. How embarrassing.
Here I am with Rasheed. Remember – I have SIX INCH PLATFORM HEELS ON!
Can anyone LOOK more goofy! I’m talking about ME here! ha ha!
I have to say: I have some of the BEST friends in the world. They literally looked out for me (to the best of THEIR ability after a few cocktails), and took turns babysitting me. At the debriefing the next day, I learned that I had been lifting up my train of my dress and trying to sexy dance. “They must have started to play good music!” I insisted, in my defense. I also learned that I am not one to be controled when drinking. Well, who is, I must ask? Ha ha! All in all it was fun. I learned NEVER drink on an empty stomach. There IS no catching up once you are blurred. But it was a glorious and all-too-memorable time, to say the least. I am SO glad for it!
Well my friends, it is time for me to get BACK to work – you know, nose to the grindstone and all that? Trust me – W-O-R-K is something I actually do from time to time.
Tune in next time when I tell you about a little love triangle with the Motley Crew I was with in Aspen, Colorado!
Have an incredible weekend, everyone – be sure to enjoy every moment, and LIVE every day!
Love you people! Mmmmmmphhhuuuuhhhh!!
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