In a Perfect World

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “In a Perfect World.”

People use the saying sarcastically, or half in jest, but I’ve thought about it at length, and I’ve determined what would make my world perfect. If one has a true sense of who I am, it would be easy to assume my perfect world would consist of things like world peace, no hunger, no poverty, or maybe the discovery of the fountain of youth (now THAT one could run a close second). But no, my perfect world would be a world without bugs. And by “bugs” I mean insects, arachnids, or any creepy variety of creature similar to that, for which I do not know their scientific name, in general.

Let’s think about this, really.  No disrespect intended to the great powers that placed us on this clod of dirt floating through space, but, assuming there was “design” involved in all of this – I have to ask the question: Why bugs? If I were starting this whole concept over from scratch I think I’d have to bring in the focus groups and devise a way to get rid of the whole pollination/bug interaction thing.  There would be no bugs. Period.

No longer would I walk out my door on one of the few hundred sunny days per year in Southern California and be forced to cross the street to get away from a pesky horse fly or bee who has mistaken me for a flower and flown into my ear, up my nose or into my mouth as I’m speaking. Never again would I be the person invited to an outdoor gathering, and to everyone else’s delight, seem to be the only one the spiders, bees, ants, or any other bug are attracted to. I’ve actually been told that if I come to an outdoor party, they don’t have to worry about bug-repellent.

That’s it. No bugs. True bliss.

Don’t hate me. I’m only delivering the truth. Just see for yourself.

This is a water bug of some sort. Are those EGGS on his back? EWWWW

a421_waterbug

This one looks like some kind of thing I’ve seen on Family Guy or something. Blech.

dewey insects of poland 5

Look at the bulgy red eyes on this one. And what kind of teeth are THOSE? ICK.

Large Fly Head - Opo Terser

This guy looks like he just might creep into my nightmare one night. Look at those mean, evil ass eyes. OH.MY.GOD.

UGLY-BUG-15163

Here is a female horsefly. I really do NOT want to know where her legs have been.

horse_fly_bibef

And this guy… Well, okay. He’s kinda cute….

Spiny

I rest my case. Just sayin’.  Bug free would be pretty close to perfect.

And with that, I will bid you adieu for the week, my lovelies. Stay safe, and steer clear of the ugly bugs.

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

aka Lisa Jey Davis

Editor in [Mis] Chief

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Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (former publicist, and television talent manager, current award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" which offers a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2015 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis

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