My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town
#DailyNugget
Who says if you travel for work during the holidays you can’t be festive?
Look what my hotel did for me…
~ The Nugget
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Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.
#DailyMischief
When the holiday earmarking the thankfulness thing is so recent we can still smell the stuffing, and the next one earmarking goodwill toward men is so close you can taste the candy canes, you know it’s THAT time of year. The time when we’re supposed to allow anger, rage and hatred for all of mankind to dissipate in favor of those more gracious expressions, right?
Yes. It is that time.
But just because I plan to be joyful, cheerful and full of good will doesn’t mean I always am. And even if I do exhibit these great qualities or sentiments once every um – day – right? – these acts shouldn’t be confused with any kind of zen-like or mature disposition – PFFF.
I mean, I’m working on it, but god it’s taking a while to get there.
Remember the time I told you how I was sitting stalled on a freeway off-ramp just before this past Thanksgiving, because car number 2 in our little family blew a gasket (or something)? That story may have flown under your radar, because I posted it on my personal website rather than here. I wax PG on that site.
Yep… I had the hood up and steam was rolling from the engine, when some lousy punk-ass kids drove by leaning on the horn, hurling expletives at me for blocking the road. I could have been the bigger person and chuckled at those involved little people who were obviously incapable of understanding the great opportunity for compassion they were missing. But I hurled back an expletive like “F*CK YOU! F*CKING ASSHOLE!” as I chased them thinking I could actually take the whole lazy, good-for-nothing lot of them. I probably could have.
It’s awesome how just when you say something like I’m working on being thankful, or gracious, (or any of those great qualities we sometimes think we wish we had) that’s when every mo-fo situation under the sun comes your way to help you practice those great qualities.
So, now when I find myself in Tucson, with M.C. Nugget (in case you forgot, he’s on location shooting a film and I am his guest), it’s only fitting that the freaking hotel can’t get a single friggin’ thing right…
I have to hold my breath til I turn blue, then slap my own face to stop myself from doing what I REALLY want to do. I have do my ohmmmms of I’m a guest of the film production people…. I’m thankful… I’m gracious… I’m joyful…
But what I really WANT to do is sign up for EIGHT THOUSAND different Yelp accounts and report every misstep by this flippin’ hotel. Because SOMEONE should! They lose mail, they forget to do promised wake-up calls, their gym has dirty mats and equipment, no one knows how the jacuzzis by the pool work, and the maids keep forgetting to do things like put pillow cases on our pillows. (The irony of my complaining about my maids – and how ridiculously privileged that sounds doesn’t escape me).
But you guys…. I won’t do that… I won’t sign up for eight thousand yelp accounts (even though I probably should), because DAMMIT…come hell or high water, I’m getting this holiday cheer thing DOWN.
Let’s do it together. Shall we?
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Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.
#DailyMischief
The other day I heard an engine failed on a Spirit Airlines flight recently. People reported that it looked as though the engine blew up. They could see the flames, and the cabin filled with smoke. This conjured up what is probably not-all-that-skewed of a vision of life inside the cabin that day.
If you aren’t familiar, Spirit Airlines is the airline that sucks people in with super cheap airfares. They do it by charging extra for basic needs while flying. If you want to go to Cartegena from Florida, you can get a flight sometimes for $9.00. Hard to believe you can travel to another country without clothes on, but that’s how you’ll get there for nine bucks (they call it the “Bare Bones” flight). If you want to bring your passport on board, it’s an additional $656.00, one way. Otherwise they’ll hold it at the gate for you and if you ever do make it back, they’ll make a quick call to Julio, and let him know he has to return it.
I flew Spirit to Houston for a mini family reunion a while back and was amazed at the fees for basic needs. You want to carry on your laptop? That’ll cost you twenty-five bucks (checked bags are twenty). You’re thirsty and in need of some water? Sorry. Nothing’s free. And, don’t try to buy water by flashing a smile or your good looks, because flirtation with the flight attendant costs you five. And if he’s gay? Ten.
I thought about how extreme this is, and the fact that Spirit is capitalizing on a public who is hurting financially and willing to go for the deal – at almost any cost. It still amazes me. It’s true, some of their fares just can’t be beat, and if you come prepared – you know, with your camelback (hidden under your jacket) full of water or, in my case, Grey Goose, as well as a sack lunch somehow smushed into your handbag (one of the only free carry-ons allowed) – then you’re golden. But good for them. They make money, and we get to go places and see things.
But back to my vision of the cabin filling with smoke. You people over at SPIRIT may want to pay attention here, because I’m about to unveil a bonafide business opportunity:
The next time there is an engine failure, smoke in the cabin, flames eating up part of the plane, or anything like that… when people start flailing around looking for help, or maybe some oxygen… Just make this announcement:
“We’re happy to assist you during this crisis here at Spirit Airlines. We offer oxygen masks for an additional fifty dollars. If you’d like to purchase one, hit your call button.”
Please visit my BREAST CANCER AWARENESS SHOP and show your support. Let’s show we care!
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Register to receive these posts by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.
Blog content copyright 2013, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.
