• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

  • Home
    • DailyNugget
    • DailyMischief
  • Books
    • Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood
    • Ahhhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments Yoga
    • Getting Over Your Ovaries (Coming Soon)
  • About Ms. Cheevious
    • How It Works
  • Contact
    • Lisa Jey’s Site

gift giving

Presents, Even If You Don’t Want Them

November 15, 2012 by MsCheevious

One of the things I dislike most about the internet (and there isn’t a whole lot, because I love to engage with people this way. When done well, it’s so f-ing cool), is when websites squander too much of my time on a whole lotta nothin’. I dislike it even more when that “nothing” has even less to do with the title of the piece.

If your title is somewhat elusive, or a non sequitur like “Parenthood: A Panic Disorder” make the content interesting and clever, would ya?  I simply loved learning that the “Panic” (in said favorite blog post) came from the fact that the recent time change handed the writer’s young child six hits of acid and said to her,

listen, you’re going to want to take all of these at the same time. Don’t worry about hiding it from your mother. When you start to see the purple dancing elephants, chase them through the house. Narrate everything out loud*.

That’s what I’m talking about.

This comes to mind now, because I was looking around the internet at some of my lovey girls‘ websites, when I came upon a “Holiday Gift Guide.”  Aside from this little “reminder” annoying me (and aside from the fact it is not yet Thanksgiving), it caused the ever so slightest heart palpitation in me.

The real stress came from facing my need to buy presents square in the face…

Presents, that is, for MC Nugget, my two boys and several other people I apparently care enough about to spend money on. More than that, this Holiday Buying Guide just seemed way too freaking early (sigh… it’s not. I’m just not ready to be on that “page” right now).

But after the stress wore off, my initial thought was, hey… maybe I’ll do a buying guide. I could offer the very cool Ms. Cheevious Luggage Tags (hint: they’re in the side bar on the website) and my very own “Humbug Schmumbug, I Want Presents” Line of Tee Shirts, coffee mugs and more (my über talented sister Par-Tay took my painting & created an incredible design), well HELL,  I’d be in business!


These are the tags, in case you are curious.

But no. You see, when I started writing this, I had the luggage tags and tee shirts. That’s TWO products. And two frigging products maketh no buying “guide.” Two products is more of a buying “suggestion” or buying “nudge.”

Okay, so forget the fact that the very next day … after I began writing this, my fabulous sister and I buckled down and now have a full-fledged Humbug SHOP up and running, but still… It’s just not a guide, per se.

After I watched as several other nutty ideas for a “guide” swirled around my skull for a few moments (“Girls Want Presents” and “The Buying Guide of Stuff Girls Want” just two of the brilliant moments) I made a decision.

I will not do it.  Nope. I won’t subject you to any undo stress, heartaches, freak-outs or fainting spells.

But you must know this:  “It” is coming. Oh yes it is. The clock will not stop for you… and we now know what that time change is capable of…

Whether you celebrate Deepavali (day of love and light, which already happened), Quanza, Chanukah, Christmas or Joe’s Crab Tasting, there are probably presents involved – even if you don’t want them to be (notice the emphasis and red font, which categorically relieves me of my title-of-post tie-in responsibility?).

It’s time to grow up and get responsible kiddies.  Yep… You must ALLOW the idea of PRESENTS to enter your brain, even if you don’t want them there (yes… again).

And with that… I’m leaving you with —- wait for it — a CHRISTMAS song. Shameless and sacrilegious as it is before Thanksgiving. I apparently do want to subject you to slow suffering and pain, while you face your present-buying demons head-on. What’re you going to do? Not buy me a present? Well that’s a little harsh. It’s a Muppets song. Anyone can forgive the Muppets.

If you’re seeing this in your email, click here to listen/watch on Youtube. Just do it.

That’s it for now, my lovelies.  If at all possible, I will post a very special edition Thanksgiving post. Wait for it.

Love you people!!!!! Mmmmpppphhhuuuhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in [Mis]Chief

* Excerpted directly from Dooce, the blog. Love it.

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home page. Be sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

———————-
Clicking the image is all you need to do to choose “ME”:

Vote For Us @ Top Mommy Blogs

———————-

Check out the “Humbug Schmumbug – I want Presents” shop here.
Check out the Ms. Cheevious luggage tags on Zazzle: “Ms. Cheevious Grand Adventure” shop

———————-

ASK MS. CHEEVIOUS

Have a question that is burning a hole in your brain about Ms. Cheevious…anything she does, her work, the book…life in general… or you want advice about a very important matter – go to our contact page & ASK AWAY.

Your question may be featured in an Ask Ms. Cheevious video segment!

———————-

WE WOULD LOVE TO REVIEW YOUR TECHY PRODUCTS IN MS. CHEEVIOUS’ TECHNO-BABE MOMENTS! GOT ONE?

Contact us.

———————-

FOLLOW MS. CHEEVIOUS IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow Ms. Cheevious’ beau M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Filed Under: Holidays, Sheer Utter Silliness, Uncategorized Tagged With: Chanukah, Christmas is Coming, Christmas Song, Dooce, gift giving, Giftts, GIrls Want Presents, Holiday, Holiday Buying Guide, Humbug Schmumbug, Ms. Cheevious Boutique, Ms. Cheevious Luggage Tags, Muppets, Parenthood: A Panic Disorder, Presents, Quanza, Shopping, Thanksgiving

Ho Ho Ho Yourself

December 19, 2008 by MsCheevious

I was just perusing my posts, reading the comments posted by you funny, fantastic readers, and somehow, as a result, I ended up on my blogger-friend Matt’s page about Christmas.  That thing CRACKED ME UP. 

Matt was a little pissed off at Santa, whom he said “hadn’t come through for him in a long f-ing time.” I paraphrased that just a tad.  His complaint? That “Santa’s fat ass had been getting lazy and given him nothing but gift certificates” over the last couple of years.  This made it perfectly acceptable for Matt to buy himself a gift on a recent visit to Sports Authority – even though he was there to buy gifts for his family.

SO Funny!  Welcome to Christmas in single adult world.  HA!  Oh sure, there are the gifts we exchange with friends, family and such, but it’s not at all like it was when we were kids, and mom and dad asked what we wanted.  Usually they asked with the actual intent of getting us at least one item on our list.  It started out when we were really young and could barely write, and mom would remind us to write our letter to Santa so he’d be sure to know what we wanted.  The disillusionment started then.  Santa just never seemed to get it right.  Then when I learned the truth about Santa – that he is just the guy to take pictures with at the mall, I realized my mom and dad were the culprits at never getting it right. There were multiple let-downs, because mom or dad thought they were satisfying me with a Barbie “look-alike” or some kind of nonsense like that.  I got pretty good at crafting my “Christmas list” as I grew up.  I got to where I was providing the manufacturer’s name, and store location where they could pick one up.  Little did I know that my determination to get what I wanted would be the driving force in developing some keen management skills in me as well.  HA!

By the way, who said Christmas is not about the gifts?  Well, whoever did clearly did NOT know what it was like at our house.  Listen, we were taught the true story of Christmas – how it was because of the birth of Christ and that it was suppose to be about giving rather than getting.  My mom and dad made sure of that.  And believe me – all that giving they did to me and my siblings rubbed off.  Just ask anyone that I care about around any sort of gift-giving time. 

But just imagine a home with a minimum of eight or nine kids (I am one of eleven kids, from the same set of parents).  My younger brother Johnny and I are the “babies,” and we were pretty spoiled around Christmas time.  Although, I am absolutely certain every single one of my siblings felt the same.  It’s because my mom had this fantastic way of making everything look so ultra festive and our living room – where the tree was always housed (apart from one trial year, where some artsy-fartsy sibling convinced mom to move it to the den for a “change” which really sucked, because of the hard marble floors), was like a department store – the Christmas tree was INCREDIBLE.  Our living room became un-walkable because of the PILES of gifts under and surrounding the tree. I remember Johnny and I sneaking out after midnight one year.  We even sat in the hall and waited for our mom and dad to finish their Christmas business, before we snuck out and counted our presents.  It was a good year.  We must have been around 5 and 7 or so, and we each had over 100 gifts!  This of course included every single thing, including the 24 Crayola Crayons wrapped alone, and the six little coloring books that were also wrapped individually.  My mom knew.  Perception was KING.  She wanted us to wake up in the morning, and see our eyes pop out of our heads at the fantastic sight.  And we did.  We knew not to let her down.

Anyhow, since then, growing up, going through marraige, divorce and raising my own kids, I’ve learned that the only way I am going to get exactly what I want is to buy it myself (okay – that’s not always the case – sometimes if I focus REAL hard, someone else gets me just what I want! HA!).  So, I’m sorry Santa, but I’m taking your job – at least in my own personal world.  Sorry.  I’ve just proven to be indispensable to myself, and well, let’s face it. You’ve been slacking on the job lately!

On another note, this year I took my older son to New York city for Thanksgiving.  It was his Christmas gift.  Next year, I’ll be smart.  He has a birthday in early January.  Next year, I’ll let him know it’s a COMBINATION Christmas and Birthday gift, if we are lucky enough to do something so extravagant again.  I just had NO idea how much money I would spend showing my son a good time in the Big Apple.  It was a small fortune.  Let’s just say his car cost me about the same.  It’s not an expensive car, as cars go, but hey – it’s an Infinity, and it ain’t half bad. 

On one of my days while in the city for some important PR appointments, I found myself on 5th Avenue.  Need I say more?  Probably not.  I could probably end this post right here and now, and you’d know what happened.  That’s because you are so very smart.  But, hey, I will give you the details nonetheless.

You see, there is this clothing designer called Free People.  I discovered them for myself this past summer, while “just browsing” at Bloomingdales.  That little browse cost a pretty penny too, but I LOVE those clothes.  One thing I learned, after my 5th Avenue experience is that buying these things at department stores is the way to go.  They are the only ones who mark things down as much as like 60%. 

So, I’m walking down 5th Avenue, minding my own business.  I had just finished my last appointment at Forbes Magazine, when I realized what a PRETTY street 5th Avenue is!  At least where I was between 14th and 15th streets.  It called to me.  The beautiful shops with their wood framed windows and majestic entrances.  I was doomed.  I simply HAD to explore – if only for the sheer architectural beauty!  As I meandered down the block, I was JUST about to hail a cab, thinking my browsing was over, when I saw the FREE PEOPLE store.  These people know how to make clothes, and they know how to LURE people like me into their store. 

I went in. 

I tried on.

Everything looked AMAZING.  I am NOT kidding.

Will someone please tell me?  Just WHEN does a female EVER try clothes on and say that everything looks AMAZING? Most women NEVER utter the word “amazing” in reference to ANYTHING about their body!

Never.

I even tried on these spandex leggings with gold zippers at the ankles.  They rocked – just before falling into my basket.

Many many dollars later, I was walking down 5th Avenue with my new Christmas gift to myself!

Done. 

The only people left to shop for were my younger son Graden, and a few good loves.  Now that I was out of the way, I could get some stuff done.

So Matt, I TOTALLY get it.  I bet after you bought yourself that workout bench, you were able to focus on everyone else!  Am I right?

Have an INCREDIBLE, LOVELY weekend everyone.  Don’t let the Grinches out there rob you of your sheer and utter JOY.  Just smile at everyone and tell them to have a beautiful, wonderful day.  And have some eggnog if that doesn’t work! Some good – strong – eggnog.

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhhuuuuhhhhh!!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

—————————–
Register to receive these posts via email by Clicking Here

Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

Filed Under: Blogroll, Hot Moms, Single Women Tagged With: Christmas Tree, Eggnog, Free People Clothing, gift giving, Santa, Santa Claus

Primary Sidebar

Footer

The Funny (that’s the blog people)

Get into the funny by reading what you find in our blog pages here

  • Daily Mischief
  • Daily Nugget (from my guy)
  • Dating
  • All Blogs in Some Kind of Order
  • Celebrities

Get a Free Book

When you register for my email list (which I hardly ever use, so why wouldn't you?).

Copyright © 2023 · Wellness Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in