title_cheevious

Lessons Learned While Conquering the World: #2 How To Deliver Kids That Don’t Suck

I sat down at the end of week-one of my glorious vacation to Manchester By the Sea, MA, just 30 miles North of Boston (visiting the family of M.C. Nugget), to write this quick article.

After promising to encourage you to BE the person you would want your kids to be (or something along those lines – as a follow up to “Lessons Learned While Conquering the World: #1 Overcommitting is a Bitch“), I serendipitously read a post on Huffington Post Parents – an interview with psychologist Madeline Levine, author of the book everyone is buzzing about, “Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.” Funny.  It must be in the ether out there – this concern about raising good, smart, well-adjusted kids.

I know what I promised, but I’ve decided to shorten the point.  How about “How to deliver kids to this world that don’t suck?”

You singles without kids — Don’t run away too quickly.  Because turning out a generation that won’t enter movie theaters with an arsenal of weapons intending to kill everyone in its path (or at best, steal, lie and cheat…) is apparently a job for the entire community, because it ain’t happening through their parents. And accomplishing something TRULY radical, like maybe raising responsible, smart, successful, well-adjusted kids… and hell, how about kids who end up as fun-to-be-around adults for a change?  That’s even more on us.  Yep, US.  That means you and me.

Why us?  Because most parents are failing miserably, far and wide. They aren’t even trying to be parents.  They’re trying to be best friends to their kids.  What’s worse is they aren’t even succeeding at that.  At best, they are the most unpopular friend in their kids’ circle of friends. They’re the one that gets picked on and hazed by their spoiled kids and his or her spoiled friends.

Oops. Now I’ve gone and offended a whole slew of people. Probably most people. Because, as I said – most parents today suck at parenting.

Now, before you get all twisted inside and write me hate mail, or provide me a laundry list of all of the things you do right for your kids – let me qualify this by saying, you are probably the exception.  And I mean that.  Which means that your kids are the exception as well. So, in your case, this article is merely going to serve as robust ammunition for you, when a rock is thrown through your front window by someone else’s lousy kids, who were all the while laughing, not at all afraid of repercussion from you… (I swear, it’s the stuff psycho-thiller flicks are made of. Where the “good” parent blows a gasket, punishing and torturing all the horrible kids to a cheering theatre audience). Then you can bring up how these other parents are failing their kids, themselves and society as a whole.

Also, I am not talking about mentally challenged kids or parents, or all of the rare instances and situations that are the exception to what I’m saying.  You know who I’m writing about here. You all know parents who suck. They can’t control their kids, they don’t do anything to teach their kids right from wrong, and sometimes they even justify their kids’ wrong-doing, because they want their kids to “discover” what’s right or wrong “for them.” Whatever the hell that means. God forbid they establish and hold them to any “rules.” As if anything in life ever required anyone to follow “rules!”

So much for writing a quick article.  Let me speed things along here.

Hang onto your hats, because earth-shattering points are not easily made in short, succinct posts. But I’m pretty good. I’ll make it happen. Pay attention. This is going to be quick. I’m going to ROCK YOUR WORLD with just TWO things sucky parents can do to insure that their little darling Suzy won’t end up in the state women’s correctional institution.

Though my kids are still growing, and the jury is still out on how they’ll turn out, I’ve learned some things along the way, while conquering this great world of ours. Trust me.  I battle these things every day with my own kids, their own role models and step-parents, and I evaluate my own actions constantly to be sure I’m not a sucky parent as well.

Here they are:

1. MAN (OR WOMAN) UP

You are the boss. They are the underling. End of story. What you say goes. You are not perfect, you may not even be right, but you are the BOSS. You have earned your right to make mistakes, even if they don’t like it or it doesn’t sound “fair.” It is not a democracy.  You were not voted into this office. They have an issue with you being in office?  Tell them to talk to the great GENE POOL in the sky, because you didn’t ask for them to show up and stage a mutiny either.  Tough Toast kiddos.

This doesn’t mean you lousy parents can lay down martial law and go all NUTSO up in your kids’ faces.  I’m not talking abuse here. You have to figure out a balance, and be sure to temper yourself with what’s “RIGHT.” And you’ll need the next step to help you out.

2. DO WHAT YOU SAY (Otherwise known as DO UNTO OTHERS baby)

If you’ve ever been a lousy parent (at any moment of any day), you’ve probably said this all-to-familiar line (or heard it when your own parents were being lousy): Do as I say, NOT as I do.

Now how the HELL is THAT going to work? As asinine it sounds, lousy parents around the globe actually tell their kids to behave in ways they don’t even attempt to exemplify.  “Don’t lie”… (it’s not lying if I really must miss work), “Don’t cheat” (unless of course I could win ALOT of money), “Don’t steal” (it’s really just borrowing.. my sister never uses that),  the list goes on.

FAILURE-LOSER parents don’t brush their teeth every single day and night, don’t wash their hands before meals, and after every bathroom use, don’t take the grocery cart back to the rack in the parking lot, and don’t refrain from gossiping about other adults behind their backs, all the while telling their kids to do those very things.

Hey – we all screw those things up!  But sucky parents screw up and pretend they didn’t or make excuses for themselves, telling their kids to do the right thing without fail. You non-parents are no angels here either.  Hey, my son who’s under eighteen lives out of state with his dad.  I get it.  We are use to living single, child-free lives.  We expect kids to be sweet and respectful to everyone, then make exceptions and excuses for ourselves when we curse like sailors in traffic, or at the mall parking lot… or really, anytime it’s convenient (the excuses part, people… not the cussing part… although I do that whenever it’s convenient too).

The point is – If you do what you SAY, you’ll be a better person. PERIOD. The kids in your life will be better too.

If you screw up, admit it, address it, apologize, and move forward and make an effort to DO WHAT YOU SAY the next time.  Is it really that difficult?

I’m done. Go forth and change the kids of the world, already, would you?

Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

Editor in (Mis) Chief

———————-

Don’t Be Shy! Leave A Reply!

Register to receive blog posts via email on the Ms. Cheevious Home pageBe sure to confirm when you receive your verification email!

FOLLOW MS. CHEEVIOUS IN ALL OF THESE GREAT PLACES:

FB Like Tumblr
Twitter     FB      Videos  Tumblr

You can also follow Ms. Cheevious’ beau M.C. Nugget on Twitter, and NOW on his Facebook Page!

All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Ms. Cheevious is the alter-ego of Lisa Jey Davis (award-winning writer & author, & health and fitness pro). Though Ms. Cheevious has become known for humor via the blog and social media, offering a lighter and brighter look at life… the blog was originally a precursor to Lisa Jey's long overdue book "Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood" (due sometime 2014) which will offer a fabulous, funny peek into what really goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood… a Hollywood with Lisa Jey and her funny “serendipities” in it. Think Lucille Ball meets Chelsea Handler meets the girl next door (with a little chocolate and vodka). It depicts with hilarity the innocent mistakes Lisa Jey made when launched back into the big, bad single jungle, as an unassuming single-mother in the City of Angels. It’s also about the beautiful, interesting life she led while her loving, incredible sons kept her grounded and sane amid fantastic events, new friends, parties and field trips. It also shows the turmoil and heartbreak that comes with dating and single mom life. All blog content © 2014 Ms. Cheevious aka Lisa Jey Davis

12 Responses to “Lessons Learned While Conquering the World: #2 How To Deliver Kids That Don’t Suck”

  1. Harriet Cabelly

    Love your writing style!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece and am sitting here with a big smile on my face. You are clever and witty and says it like it is. Love it!
    Here’s my big point that “sucky parents can do to insure that their little darling Suzy won’t end up in the state women’s correctional institution” – allow them to fall down and get up again On Their Own; in other words, strength is developed through struggle. Tolerate the struggle. The caterpillar develops into that beautiful butterfly only through his struggle to emerge from his chrysalis. Let’s allow our kids the benefit of struggle. For the accomplishment yields the all important and necessary character strengths of competence and self-pride, perseverence and endurance.

    • Ms. Cheevious

      Harriet – thank you for stopping by and offering such wise words to our readers. SO TRUE! Thank you for adding to the topic so beautifully! :)

  2. Eaeme

    Been there, done that – our three kids are your age plus or minus. All are doing fine; there were some scary moments (Harriet is right on) but they were resolved. Our relationship with them is wonderful. My experience and observation in the final analysis is that kids learn more by the example set for them than by anything else, they especially filter what they are told. As I reflect on myself, the same went for me within my own family. But that ‘set an example’ approach is the long range strategy. Your tactics serve well. Good luck!!!!

  3. Single Dating Diva

    I totally agree … parents have a big responsibility to bring good kids into the world, although sometimes it’s not easy, they have to do their best. I don’t have children but hope to one day and I just love all the great experiences you shared. Keep those lessons learned coming!!!

    • Ms. Cheevious

      Thanks @singledatingdiva:disqus – I also believe it’s the community at large who makes or breaks kids. We don’t require respect or responsibility often enough!

  4. Myles

    I’ve learned that the greatest lessons can come from the biggest mistakes. It is important to remember that whatever questions my kids ask, I probably learned in the hardest possible way. It is, in part how my character was formed. For this reason, I want them to have the privilege of making mistakes and learning some lessons too.

  5. Neely

    Wow…not a parent yet, but hoping I can be a good parent someday! :)
    Neely

  6. Angela Jordan

    Great post! Parenting is not an easy job and the reason so many don’t do it well is because it requires much more effort to be a great parent, than a not so stellar one. Unfortunately it is the kid who pays for it.

×

Comments are closed.