This post was inspired while perusing a blog by Penelope Trunk, which I happened to find through the 2011 Forbes top websites for women list. In a quick perusal of her blog, I stumbled upon a post titled “7 Things You Don’t Know About Women and Work.” It was rather interesting. Enough so that I pinned it to Lisa Jey Davis‘ “Blogs I Like” board.
I’m not going to tell you what that article says here, however. If you want to know what it says, you’ll have to go there and read it for yourself. After you read mine.
Most articles inspire me in some way. I see every article as an open discussion. That’s why often you’ll find comments from me (and my alter ego, for that matter) on various internet articles. I feel as though it’s one, big, giant conversation. Hopefully one day, you will see this site as a place to have an interesting conversation as well. That is my dream for you, my minions.
Now onto topic: Here are 4 Random Things I Didn’t Know.
1. There is no money in writing about women. I did not know that. I never really thought about it. Hell, no one ever said I was going to get rich being a writer, so I’m not surprised there are categories which pay more. Penelope Trunk wrote about how one of the first pieces of advice she was given when she started getting paid to write, was to not write about women (oops). She was apparently fired twice for ignoring that advice. Then again, she is a finance and business writer. (The website she is known for is, after all, named Brazen Careerist).
Whew. I’m safe, since I am not a business or finance writer. I am also not worried about the money. Not yet.
Plus, I don’t write ABOUT women. I write women. I paint women with my words, the way I believe they look (or should look… act… believe) in all their beauty (look at me, waxing poetic!). My goal is to show women how to “just be” and how to be happy in that. As I write, I weave each woman into a beautiful painting that both men and women enjoy. Right?
2. Being a publicist is a thankless job – OR – Hiring a publicist is a necessary evil. This one is totally random because most people are not publicists. (Scratch that). And it’s not at all about women, unless, well, you are a female publicist. I’ve recently come to this conclusion. I didn’t know this before choosing a profession, obviously, which is probably the reason why I now find myself to be… well, a publicist. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. And there is job security. Most people grow tired of this thankless, cutthroat business. Not me. I’m an animal, and I can be a cutthroat bitch when I need to be. I was picked on by six brothers growing up, so I’ve got the moxy to come out of the ring fighting. It’s great for now, and because I am good at it, I am successful.
FACT: No matter how much press you get for clients, it is never enough. And it is just too damn difficult to measure. If I get you on the morning news in one of the largest markets in the US, how much is that worth to you? And how much is it worth, if say, five years from now, people are still seeing that footage on youtube or someplace, and becoming clients or fans, or want to interview you for their show? The same goes for that magazine article that gets read five years laters in the bathrooms of America. It just can’t be measured. Conversely, as businesses grow, or actors/writers/celebrities gain popularity, and clothing or beauty products become all the rage, they all find that hiring a publicist is a necessary evil. If they don’t have a publicist, there is no one to filter all of the thousands (if they are lucky) of requests, no one to protect them or do damage control if necessary, and no one to keep the machine well-oiled by constantly prodding and pressuring the press to interview or feature them. It’s a dirty, thankless job, and I am damn good at it. I’m not loving the thankless / necessary evil part, as it tends to rob me of my passion, which leads me to #3.
3. Just because you are good at something does not mean you should do it for a living. I never KNEW that! I thought that was the point: to do what we are good at! Didn’t we all as kids ask our parents, “How do you know what you should be when you grow up, mommy?” And didn’t all our mommy’s reply, “Find something you are good at and do that”? (Forget the fact that our mom’s answered our ‘what should we “be”‘ with what we should “do.” There’s another article in that). If you are really talented in a skill and equally passionate about it, well then, you should consider doing it for a living. That is the point.
I am really glad I am finding this out now though. Because, it’s not like it’s too late or anything. Right?
Right. That’s why, though I’m a publicist, I’m also writing a book, my blogs, articles for other websites, and producing videos around the clock. All because I love painting women, both figuratively, with my words, and actually. I may be damn good at PR and Marketing, but my passion is in the stuff I love: writing and creating. It’s all about affecting the lives of other people in positive ways. That is, until I find something else that I’m more passionate to write / create about.
And on that note, I thought this was really apropos here, because I am my own boss:
4. As we grow older we have to reposition ourselves. This one just recently occurred to me, and it’s a doozy.
I am a marketing maven, so of course I apply marketing concepts (repositioning) to my personal life. I firmly believe, those who plan and strategize ahead of time (even in their own personal development), will be the most successful and happily adjusted. So I’m on it. Hell I should be an expert, I’ve had so many identities.
Much of my identity throughout my life was and is tied to how I look. It’s that way for everyone I believe. Though my type of blond, blue-eyed looks are NOT for everyone, for some reason I was not found to be repulsive to the masses. It sometimes made life easier, and sometimes it did not. Here’s a quick chronological list of a few of my identities and how they related to my looks:
Cute Figure Skater
Pretty Cheer Leader
Talented (and not too bad looking) musician/singer/songwriter (who could look pretty good in a beret)
Straight-A College Student (I was told in college that it was because of my looks they assumed I wanted to work in front of the camera doing newscasting, rather than producing. This was incorrect.)
Wife and Mother – (The wife part – though I was considered arm candy for much of it – ended as it does for many, but even as my kids grew, I was “too pretty” to be allowed to meet my grown son’s friends).
Rock Climber / Snow Boarder / Adventurer of sorts – this was a fun one, because it was NOT expected that I, in my girlish position and “softer looks,” would ever want to be a hardcore, serious, extreme athlete. But I did.
Business Woman – Marketing & PR (no good looks here required, but they did not and do not hurt).
Before I go on, and before someone out there chooses to write a blog review post about this, stating how obsessed I was with my “good looks” let me say this: We all marveled at how non-attractive Susan Boyle is/was when she hit American Idol in England. We were shocked by the beauty of her voice. Why was that okay? And why is it wrong for me to address looks as they have affected me in my life? I am the first to admit that I have flaws like cellulite and blemishes, just like every single person on the planet. I also believe that beauty is a perception. We only know whether we look good to others by the way they respond to us. So really, I could be BUTT UGLY, but because for the most part, people have responded to me as if that’s not true, I believe them. So I guess beauty really is only skin deep. And I’m just realizing that my “beauty” is…. changing. It’s changing into something very different from what I’ve ever known. It’s not obvious, or drastic. I’m simply aware that it is happening. It will happen.
Here’s a realization for you, if you are at least 40: No matter what you do, how much Botox or surgery you choose to have, or how many times you tell yourself that you still look just as good as when you were 29, you are (we are) getting older. You will never look the same. Though you can laugh with 25 year olds and feel as though you can relate and be best friends or buds with them, it usually does not happen. You can be friendly with them, but you are never “one of the group” in that young 20-something group of friends. You are the “older” friend, or whatever, and that is… good. It’s great, actually.
But what does that mean for you? What does it mean for me?
Like I said, I’m ON IT. I’m in the process of forming my next identity. So, what will the ME of the future, with gray hair and wrinkles look like? Will I be the long-haired, introspective, poetic writer/novelist, with a thirst for adventure, cognac and cigars? Will I be the graceful, older woman, with a Linda Evans bob (if you don’t know who she is, please look her up from the original “Dynasty,” television series, would you?), who manages her own world in a regal manner, accepting everyone for who they are? Or will I be the silly, wildly zany Lucille Ball type, who makes everyone, including herself laugh until they pee? Perhaps I’ll find a way to be all three?
All I know is the more prepared you are, the less taken off-guard you’ll be. I’m really okay to grow up and keep transitioning. I’m excited to find my new cool space, where “I” will reside when I’m “older.”
I won’t pretend that there are only four things in this world I didn’t know. My GOD there are at least tens or hundreds, maybe. What are the things you didn’t know? Or maybe you have thoughts on my unknowns? Feel free to start a conversation. I’ll join you.
Love you people!!!! Mmmmppphhhuuuuhhhh!!!
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