Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood

My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town

fitness

This time it will stick

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#TheFunny

 

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Some could argue that my blog isn’t really for mommies because my kids are grown and my stories aren’t about my kids or being a mom, much.

M.C. Nugget and I were eating dinner the other night (my homemade chicken, vegetable and green chile soup, sans noodles or any starch), when he plopped something into my bowl. A piece of zucchini. Then PLOP… another one…

What? You’re not enjoying the zucchini? I thought you liked zucchini?

Yeah…. not that much, and not that mushy, he teased.

See??? I bring the skills I learned as a mom to EVERY.THING. Even dating and relationships.

IT NEVER STOPS.

The difference here is, Nuggie is grown up. He gets to be who he is and I don’t try to change him. That’s his job.

So I ate his zucchini, and I LIKED IT.

So much is happening for me both professionally and personally this year. All great things. But with new great things comes new, added pressures. With added pressures, comes the immediate need for me to get serious about fitness and health, and to slim back down to the lean, mean, well-oiled fighting machine I’ve been in the past.

It’s A HUGE YEAR FOR ME. And slimming down is the best way I can make this year the best year, ever.  I keep replaying in my mind… if Jane Fonda can rock her latter years and stay lean and healthy, DAD-GUMMIT, so can I.

Jane Fonda rocks her latter years

And even though my to-do list is fairly packed:

  1. Book Launch —- CHECK
  2. Book Signing —- CHECK
  3. Reach #1 Bestselling New Release on Amazon —- CHECK
  4. Win another award for the book —- CHECK
  5. Teach Pilates Classes all over the city, day and night —- CHECK
  6. Red Carpet, Celebrity Book Release Party in May —- WORKING ON NOW
  7. Giant Mother’s Day product review and give away – EEEEE! You guys will LOVE this one! —- Coming soon
  8. Huge jewelry-ish review and give away — OOOOO! You’ll love THIS one too! —- Coming soon
  9. Enormous, stupendous, landmark birthday for me —- in July
  10. Finish classical Pilates certification —- end of year
  11. Launch Single Mom Luv smart-phone app —- this year
  12. Write fun blogs here and health/fitness blogs everywhere else, including those I do for Livestrong.com —- CHECK
  13. Direct photo shoots for Livestrong.com —- CHECK
  14. Moderate a fitness/health/nutrition panel for Digital Hollywood with some of the biggest names in fitness —- CHECK
  15. Publish next book “Getting Over Your Ovaries: How To Make the Change of Life Your BITCH” —- sometime in the next twelve months, I hope.
  16. And guess what? M.C. Nugget keeps hinting he may actually ask me out for a THIRD date! EEEEEEEE!

THIS must go to the TOP of my TO DO LIST:

17.  Healthy eating and lifestyle changes (which includes going very light on the cocktails) —- HAPPENING NOW

The next day, when Nuggie asked me if we could sit down to study French on the Rosetta Stone (which he got me for Christmas, since we are going to France this year too)…  I’m sure he was thinking “Why not? What’s one more thing?”

But you guys!!! I need this healthy eating, lifestyle thing! Because I friggin’ love food. Scratch that. I LOVE having a good time. 99.9% of the time, “good times” involve really great, fattening, starchy, buttery food. Plus wine. Plus chocolate. And vodka. Often, cheese and proscuitto with water crackers.

Give me a few drinks and you KNOW I’m eating that pizza. Don’t try to stop me.

I know.

I KNOW!

Nuggie and I laughed about this, because I have this habit of going all DEEPUFF CHOPRA on myself for big events (where I de-puff with my trademark, Zen-like focus and drill-seargant discipline leading up to a big event), only to become Puff the Magic Girlfriend afterward.

Puff the Magic Girlfriend aka Lisa Jey Davis

In fairness to ME… I think I’m a Tiny Pufflestiltskin most of the time, but when an important life event nears, Deepuff Chopra takes over and slims down. Then, I just relax and allow things to go back to “normal” afterward.

THANK GOD, I haven’t ever let it get out of control (not since that time right before my divorce…that time I talked about in my book).

THANK GOD, Tiny Pufflestiltskin isn’t too horrible to look at.

But, you know? I’m not content to be “not too horrible to look at.”

“Not too horrible to look at” is not the tag line I’m going for (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I always aspire for more, and for feeling the BEST EVER.

So, SAYONARA, because I’ve decided to allow my zen-like, drill-sergeant ways to take the reigns FOR.EVER.

Signed,

Your former “Puff the Magic Girlfriend,” soon-to-be lean, limber and healthiest ever friend,

DEEPUFF CHOPRA

And THIS TIME… I MEAN IT.

THIS TIME IT’LL STICK.

 

#DailyMischief #Diet #Exercise #Fitness #Health #DeepakChopra #Zen

MOM FACTOR:  Don’t let the kids always decide what you’re eating. YOU.ALWAYS.DECIDE. End of story. 

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Blog content copyright 2015, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms.Cheevious.

This is when I need a belly lashing

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THIS IS WHEN I NEED A BELLY LASHING

 

#DailyMischief

 

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This morning I was minding my own business, telling clients to kill themselves during my Lagree Fitness-Style Pilates class…

Mind over matter, people! If you want to see change, you have to tell your body to keep going. You’ve got this! Keep breathing in, keep breathing out! Engage your core as you press that leg back! …

yada yada yada, etc, etc, etc…

And I say those things because – pfff! That drill sergeant shit always makes me work harder. Plus, I kinda like ordering people around, especially when I know they’ll thank me later. And I always know. It was a great moment to say the least… SMH (that means “shaking my head” in ridiculous text-ease), but I digress.

While I taught, I took off my top layer long-sleeved shirt, because MY GOD it’s 80 degrees here and I was sweating through my shirt without even working out (NO it wasn’t a hot flash. Don’t go there). Can you believe it though? I realize the rest of the country is in a deep freeze and I am damn lucky to have warm temps, but this was crazy. And no matter what the weather looks like outside, no one wants sweat marks on their clothes. So it was me, my workout bra top and my yoga pants traipsing around the studio barking out the next move.

By the way — did I tell you that I’ve always been pretty proud of my abs? Not just because I work hard, but even before I ever had kids… hell, even AFTER I had kids, my abs were always in pretty great shape. That’s because from a young age I always did tons of ab exercises.

I taught in my bra top for TWO straight hours before this… THIS happened:

After I sculpted the asses and abs of the Beverly Hills elite… after the studio was dark and I was packing up my things to leave, I glanced at myself in the mirror (the place is floor to ceiling mirrors, for goddsakes)… after all of that… what did I see?

Something I’ve never in my life seen on my body. A trace of CELLULITE on my ABS!

Pull out the laser printer, run this blog post through that printer and post this on the wall with big red letters on it saying,

ON THIS DAY IN 2014, MS. CHEEVIOUS HAD CELLULITE ON HER ABS

 

Talk about a motivator.

I immediately pointed this trace of cellulite out to M.C. Nugget when I got home. I pulled out the magnifying glass… and can you believe, he swore he didn’t see a thing? What a great guy!

As I sit here, carrot in mouth, thinking about ways to extract the food and wine from the past six weeks from my body FAST, my brain can’t seem to come up with anything other than liposuction. I may need some of those brain foods talked about in my LJD post here….  But any other ideas?

My solution is to reign in the diet and pump up the volume on the workouts. No more Mr. Nice Girl on my booty. I may think I’m cute sometimes, but I don’t care how you size it up – cellulite is never cute. This is WAR. This – of all times – is DEFINITELY when I need a belly lashing… and I’m here to deliver it, post haste.

Watch me and learn people. Watch and learn.

 

March 25, 2013 at 09:04PM
Arya Ziai / Foter.com / CC BY

 

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Register to receive these posts once a week by email and get my eBook “Ahhhhh…Haaaaaa Moments with Ms. Cheevious” for FREE as a result. Registration is on the right side bar of every blog post, or on our Facebook page. See you next time.

Blog content copyright 2014, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious.

 

Cat belly photo credit:

~Jetta Girl~ / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

 

For those times when I’m “trying” to gain weight

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Today M.C. Nugget was kind enough to offer to wash my car. This is something I always accept with glee. I often add a token grin and run over to throw my arms around him too.

But you see, this was BIG for me. Because even though I am a clean person, for some reason I don’t get around to washing my car often. I’m not sure why, because when I owned my own condo, my place was always immaculate and presentable enough even for pesky surprise guests. But when it comes to my car it’s bad. Really bad. It’s like a mental block.

The only problem was he wanted to wash my car at a time when I needed to go to a nearby pilates studio and “observe” an exercise class by one of my favorite instructors. (I planned to steal her routine and use parts of it in my classes).

Have I told you what a good guy Nuggie is?

I suggested with a coy little grin how we could possibly still make everything work, if he were to one-up his favor and drop me off near said exercise class.

He did.

He’s a good guy, you guys.

I went to observe the class dressed in my workout attire, because… duh. I’m an instructor extraordinaire.

The class is taught on these machines that doll out pain from hell… much like these below:

 

 

I arrived, and my friend welcomed me with “You can drop into class if you like, because I have one machine open.”

I immediately jumped at that, because when this happens, and you’re offered a FREE CLASS, you just DO IT.

The thing I hadn’t factored in was my walk home afterward, in the HOT sunshine.

Don’t anybody panic for me. I know you were already beading up with sweat over this, but I was FINE.

EVERYBODY, I was FINE.

I got home and proceeded to eat a healthy Weight Watcher’s Smart One (a favorite of mine). I hadn’t eaten all day, and it was afternoon before I got home.

It was yummy and all, but I was HUNGRY.

Somehow, when I am tired and depleted from a rigorous workout something this always happens: Peanut Butter popped into my mind.

I know. Not the healthiest of foods when one is in a constant war against hormonal weight gain.

But PEANUT BUTTER was there, and it wasn’t leaving.

So, I caved people. I walked into my kitchen, slathered a bit on half a banana, and didn’t stop there. I took a piece of bread and slathered that crunchy peanut butter all over it and gobbled it down.

PB

But let’s look on the bright side:  For those times when I’m TRYING to gain weight, I’ve got a very quick, easy solution: PEANUT BUTTER… and lots of it.

 

 

Take Care of YOU – 5 Things You Can Do For a Better You

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Ahhh.  The way to a better YOU.  We ALL need this information, trust me. Our planet is getting so stinkin’ toxic, I’m surprised we aren’t all glowing (and I don’t mean the good kind of glow that they say about brides.  I’m talking the nuclear reactor kind of glow).

To be clear, I am a student in this matter. So, under no circumstances am I claiming to be an expert in the field of health and wellness, and if you do these things and get sick, well – I’m not GOD people!  Just sayin’. But I’m still smart. So, listen up. Here’s another component of this post:

When you don’t feel well, get help, would you?

Here are some examples (not to be taken literally) of what I’m talking about when I say “don’t feel well”:

  • You’ve been feeling a little congested, and then you wake up one morning with a scratchy throat, OR
  • Your knee hurts off and on.  Not all the time, but it regularly bothers you and inhibits your from doing some of the things you like to do, OR
  • Your other knee hurts when the first one stops hurting, OR
  • You have a back ache, OR
  • Geez.  How many examples do you need?

I don’t know what it is people, but for some reason we put off seeking medical attention, or even health attention (massages, dentists, eye doctors, chiropractors, etc..).  We’ll go for weeks on end kvetching about our aches and pains, and suffer through it, but we just won’t make the call and make an appointment.

I did this recently, myself.  My back was hurting.  BAD.

I don’t get “back aches.” This was a new one for me.  I had one in the past, and went through weeks of chiropractic therapy after a car accident, so when I got my recent back ache, I was nervous.  I stopped working out for fear of further damaging my back or something else, or worse, not being able to do the workout because it hurt too much, thus wasting my time.  I wasn’t sleeping well because of the throbbing, and I took way too many prescription ibuprofen pills (which I had left-over from my surgery). Needless to say, I was doing that thing.  That thing I just talked about at the beginning.  I suffered for two weeks without making the call or making the appointment. Talk about loss of TIME.

Then I finally went in to my chiropracter and was whipped into shape (no pun intended – get it? Whip-lash? Whipped into shape by my chiropractor? Anyway.) within a matter of about two minutes. I’m not kidding. I talk about this in my related vlog “Take Care of You – Enjoy Every Day with Lisa Jey.”

And though I may not be an expert in health and wellness, I do consider myself to be an expert pamperer of myself, indulging in far too many — “indulgences” — often, and well – you get the idea.

Basically, I like to eat bonbons, and preferably hand-fed or served to me by hot, ripped men in boxer briefs.

So here’s the deal.  We are all like this.  We all procrastinate getting help with something, even to the point of inconvenience (my back ache was inconveniencing me all over the place… making working out, sleeping and so much else muddled if existent at all), so why even let it get to that point?  Let’s just take care of US, and be BETTER all around!

Mark my words, if we actually DO these five things, we’ll find ourselves much less inconvenienced, and far happier, healthier people who feel GOOD… basically BETTER.

5 Things You Can Do for a Better You

1.  Take a bath. Often. I’m not talking about the “quick bath to get cleaned up” kind of bath.  I’m talking about the “lady of leisure-luxurious lifestyle-bath salts or bath oils” kind. The kind that takes about an hour. DO IT.

2. Read something old fashioned. Sit away from the computer, in a quiet place, once a day and read something that is written by hand or typed on this stuff we call “paper”.  Anything.  Your favorite news paper (mine is the New York Observer), a stack of your old poetry or journals from years ago, a favorite magazine (one of mine is “Esquire”), even a guilty-pleasure-Harlequin Romance.  I don’t care what it is.  Just do it.

3. Get Active. Do something active at least three times a week.  Walk, park far away at the mall (so you have to walk more), take three different trips up the stairs to the same office appointment… just for the heck of it, or gee – maybe – – GO TO THE GYM?  But get active and get the endorphins going in your bod.

4. Get Outta Here. Get outside when the weather is nice.  This means you will have to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER once again.  But that’s a good thing.  Even if it means driving someplace with the windows open in the car, or the top down.  Let the SUN shine down on you.  The sun actually causes us to access those endorphin thingy-ma-jigs…

5. Get GOOD sleep. If you must, take some Benadryl or something holistic like melatonin to help you, but get a GOOD night’s sleep REGULARLY. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of illness. If you don’t take care of the sleep thing, and you get sick, don’t come crying to me.  You have been warned.

There.  That wasn’t so hard.  Now you are already on your way to a BETTER you.

PFFFAWWW.  As IF you needed to get any better.

And, if you do all these things and still get sick, or injured or an ailment?  Well then, GO SEE SOMEONE, geez.  That’s takes us right back to where we started from, now doesn’t it?

Love you people!!!!!!! Mmmmphhhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

PS) Please check out and comment on my related vlog here.

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All Blog content copyright 2012, LISA JEY DAVIS aka Ms. Cheevious

Here a Mom, There a Mom, Everywhere a HOT Mom

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We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to bring you a HOT mom picture.  Yes, we (and by we, of course, I mean me.  Here in Ms. Cheeviousland, I am pretty much royalty, so I’ve adapted the third person “royals” speaking style. Just an FYI.) were going about our daily blog business, writing about the state of the economy, and how it does or does not affect us, when we were just a bit distracted by some hot mommy pics.  This is what we aspire to people!

Hot Mom Jessica Alba

There were tons of shots.  This one (above) was our favorite.  You can peruse more here.

Anyhoo.  Just thought we’d send you a “hump-day” inspiration.  If you are as hot or hotter than Ms. Alba, well, yay for you!  But if you are like most, and still only strive to be in shape and personally sexy, then this should inspire you to get your bloody arse in shape now, shouldn’t it!?  Get on it people.  God knows we’ve been working our “arse” off five days a week… pilates, yoga, stair climbing, weight training, SPX Fitness, you name it!  Then again, we can’t complain.  We DID, after all, make it past the first cut of the Lingerie Football League tryouts for the Los Angeles Temptation, did we not?  We wrote about it (and posted a video of the tryouts) in the post “Lingerie… Football, That Is.”

Okay – enough of the “we”  crap!  Really girls… I post hot photos like this, not only for the cheap thrills and excitement you or your significant “other” can derive from them (or perhaps you AND that person), but also because of the sheer reality, that WOMEN WATCH OTHER WOMEN.  Why?  Because a) we appreciate beauty and hotness, and b) we WANT to BE that pinnacle of beauty and hotness.

Whether you agree that Jessica Alba is HOT or not, you will agree that she has a fantastic body, right?

So here I am again, preaching to the choir, I’m sure, but GET ON IT LADIES!!  (And to my male readers: please just appreciate what I’m doing here).  I’ve said it before, but if you really truly want something (like a hot body) you’re the only one who can really MAKE it happen.  Get to it.  Then report back.

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuuuuhhhh!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious