I perfected the walkaway after this…






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A few weeks ago, M.C. Nugget and I (along with his friend Bogey) attended a star-studded wedding party. It was the wedding of the guy who directed a film Nuggie and Bogey wrote back in the day. Now… when I say star-studded, I mean, the couple hired a TON of quasi-famous people to perform or participate in the wedding “after-party.”  We were only invited to the after-party, because the couple opted for this, rather than a huge formal wedding and reception (their actual nuptials were the day before the party, with select friends and family).

Bacall, Bogey’s main squeeze, couldn’t make it, but she put out a challenge to anyone who could spot an ice sculpture first.

I thought that was interesting. It’s not like I think “ice sculpture” when I think wedding. But meh… who am I to think of weddings anyway?

It was extravagant. It felt like we were at the Golden Globes.

Did I mention, we decided we’d rather go to this kind of wedding after-party all day long, then attend the formal wedding of people we don’t really know well?

Suffice it to say – we had F*U*N people. Open Bar, Delicious-Food-A-Plenty… What more could we ask?

How about the friggin BRIDE learn some manners??

To be fair, after my second martini, I decided to go up to the bride (whom I’d met very briefly ONCE) to let her know I approved of her dress. Because, this would be a treat for any bride on her special day, to know that I, Ms. Cheevious, approved. Right?

I walked up to her, tapped her on the shoulder, reminded her of how we met, and said,

I love your dress. It’s GORGEOUS!

Pretty brilliant eh?

Yeah… she was dumbfounded. She said thanks, and  sort of turned her back to me to talk to the other five hundred people clamoring for her attention.

The problem is… well… THERE I WAS, standing there. AWKWARDLY.

So what does one do, when one is turned away from suddenly?

The WALKAWAY people. The F-ing, Tail-between-the-leg-over-perceived-rejection-where-there-is-none WALKAWAY. I’m an expert now. I PERFECTED that mother-fucker. Yes. I said the F word.

But look at the pretty pictures of what this party was like!

It started like any other star-studded event in Hollywood… with a red carpet.

Nuggie, Bogey and I arrive at the Wedding of the Century


Then, the FIRST thing we saw upon entry, was this beautiful, elaborate ….

photo 1-1

ICE SCULPTURE (that Bacall is one WISE SAGE)!!!


photo 3-3 

These girls below did an AWESOME burlesque number:

photo 2-2


This gal’s job? Just stand there and look confused and bewildered:

photo 2-1 

One cannot have a star-studded Hollywood wedding without a little contortion. Just sayin’.

photo 1-2


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They also had not one, but TWO of the Dancing with the Stars couples performing a few of their numbers. And I know Chelsie Hightower which made it even cooler… I was so glad to see her, I emailed her on the spot to say “You’re here? Woot!”

Chelsie Hightower performed


Then – we were treated to a rare performance by Mr. RICK SPRINGFIELD and his one-hit wonder, 8-6-7-5-3-0-99999999!



The takeaway? Have a healthy attitude, regardless of what goes on. But also: Know when to hold em… know when to fold em… know when to (do the) WALKAWAY (and of course… know when to run).


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