The other day I heard an engine failed on a Spirit Airlines flight recently. People reported that it looked as though the engine blew up. They could see the flames, and the cabin filled with smoke. This conjured up what is probably not-all-that-skewed of a vision of life inside the cabin that day.
If you aren’t familiar, Spirit Airlines is the airline that sucks people in with super cheap airfares. They do it by charging extra for basic needs while flying. If you want to go to Cartegena from Florida, you can get a flight sometimes for $9.00. Hard to believe you can travel to another country without clothes on, but that’s how you’ll get there for nine bucks (they call it the “Bare Bones” flight). If you want to bring your passport on board, it’s an additional $656.00, one way. Otherwise they’ll hold it at the gate for you and if you ever do make it back, they’ll make a quick call to Julio, and let him know he has to return it.
I flew Spirit to Houston for a mini family reunion a while back and was amazed at the fees for basic needs. You want to carry on your laptop? That’ll cost you twenty-five bucks (checked bags are twenty). You’re thirsty and in need of some water? Sorry. Nothing’s free. And, don’t try to buy water by flashing a smile or your good looks, because flirtation with the flight attendant costs you five. And if he’s gay? Ten.
I thought about how extreme this is, and the fact that Spirit is capitalizing on a public who is hurting financially and willing to go for the deal – at almost any cost. It still amazes me. It’s true, some of their fares just can’t be beat, and if you come prepared – you know, with your camelback (hidden under your jacket) full of water or, in my case, Grey Goose, as well as a sack lunch somehow smushed into your handbag (one of the only free carry-ons allowed) – then you’re golden. But good for them. They make money, and we get to go places and see things.
But back to my vision of the cabin filling with smoke. You people over at SPIRIT may want to pay attention here, because I’m about to unveil a bonafide business opportunity:
The next time there is an engine failure, smoke in the cabin, flames eating up part of the plane, or anything like that… when people start flailing around looking for help, or maybe some oxygen… Just make this announcement:
“We’re happy to assist you during this crisis here at Spirit Airlines. We offer oxygen masks for an additional fifty dollars. If you’d like to purchase one, hit your call button.”
Please visit my BREAST CANCER AWARENESS SHOP and show your support. Let’s show we care!
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