Ms.Cheevious

Welcome to Ms. Cheevious-land, where some posts are more “Ms. Cheevious” than others…  Some can even be downright offensive…  This could be one of those.

Particularly if you are a member of my family.  But know this: you have been warned.  And I’m NOT kidding.

And to you females out there, just remember: don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

So here goes!

List of electronic devices that give pleasure:

1)      The Television

2)      The iPod

3)      The Computer (for some)

4)      The Massage Chair, and

5)      The Rabbit (if you do not know what a Rabbit is, now is the time to stop reading).

Four out of five of these devices utilize quality control personnel in the development process. That is, people who test the device before it goes to market, to be sure it is

a) truly meeting the customer’s need,

b) functioning properly,

c) achieving the customer’s desired goal(s), and

d) is durable and built to last for a reasonable amount of time.

I have to say I am reasonably satisfied with the first four electronic devices on the list. But what, might I ask, happened to number 5?

For GODSAKES PEOPLE, don’t the makers of these devices know that if they actually made Rabbits according to the criteria above, their sales would skyrocket, PMS would become the stuff of legends, and the term “bitch” would actually be used to refer only to female dogs.  And besides, we all know that when women are happy, the whole world rejoices.

Just think about.  A Rabbit should

a) help women see the face of god quicker, reach nirvana, or fill in the blank;

b) do what it is suppose to do based on the features on the box;

c) provide that “pleasure” (see “devices that give pleasure” list above) in the absence of a man, in the presence of a boring man, or during football season (hey I’m not only thinking of myself here); and

d) be durable… REALLY DURABLE… and last for a reasonable amount of time.

What is a “reasonable amount of time”, you might ask?  Twenty minutes about four times a week for at least three years.  I think that’s fair.

But no.  Apparently there are no test marketers for vibrators, at least from what I can tell.  And so, with great personal sacrifice, I am now dedicating my life to ensuring that quality, durability, and product satisfaction go hand-in-hand with the mighty Rabbit… and when they build the monument to me, let them say “She did it not for herself, nor for the battery companies, but for her sisters around the world and the men they stopped annoying.”

Yes, I will spend the rest of my days testing these devices, and ensuring world peace.

As you hum my theme song, please feel free to provide your list of demands, and I will take them into consideration while conducting my research. 

Long Live the Rabbit!

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

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So, M.C. Nugget and I attended Improv Olympics in Hollywood last week for Top Story! Weekly.

Improv Olympics describes the show as such:

SNL meets The Daily Show in this constantly changing news-driven sketch romp through a week’s worth of headlines. Every Sunday at 9 Top Story! Weekly brings you a brand new 60-minute scripted show, which has been called the most ambitious weekly schedule of any LA theater. Put together by a staff of top writers and actors trained at the country’s best comedy programs, and featuring top names from film and television as guest performers, “Top Story! Weekly” is the most current, up-to-the-minute sketch show in LA.

That all sounds wonderful, and of course, it’s expected for the venue to promote the show.  But I have to say, after sitting through the show, I do concurr.  Yes, you read that right.  I actually agree.  Now don’t fall outta your chairs or anything.

These talented people (the writers, actors, director(s), etc) get together weekly, to write, rehearse and put together a show that offers a collection of the week’s top news stories – with a twist.  This, in addition to their regular day jobs and their undying pursuit of fame and fortune in Hollywood.

One cast member, Matthew Isaac Harris has the whole Obama impersonation thing DOWN! Not only could he pass for the president, but he’s got the voice and mannerisms as well. At first I thought he was just born with a similar voice and it was sheer luck that he found his way into this gig… that the chances of him being versatile as a comedian/actor were slim, but then he pulled off a convincing-enough Chris Brown to impress even me.  Yes, I, Ms. Cheevious, used the word “impress”.  (You know, “Suntines ah lahk to tahk lahk a SMART person, ya git it? …”)

I could go on and on about each of the individual and extremeley talented cast members – like Phillip Wilburn who’s impersonations of Captain Sully and Sean Connery were hysterical… not to mention the fact that in his spare time (when he’s not working full time at a local television station) he does gigs for the Tonight Show, and appears on CNN and more, while still managing to do this Improv Olympics gig. 

But apparently it doesn’t stop there.  Another cast member Artemis Pebdani, who graced the audience with her rendition of a newsie/entertainment gossip reporter, among other fun characters, is a busy working actress in her own right.  She’s booked regular appearances as ”Artemis” (go figure) on one of my very favorite shows It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  A little bird told me she may even have an affair with Danny DeVito on screen…  big fun. 

There are so many talented folks… this post would have to be miles long to describe them all.  I hope to have more time in the audience soon – because we ALL know I love a good laugh.  When Ms. Cheevious is laughing, everyone around her is happy.  Hee hee. 

And, by all means, if you’re ever in Hollywood, plan some time to visit Improv Olympics, and certainly on a Sunday night if at all possible – 9 PM PST – for “Top Story! Weekly.” You’ll be glad you did.  It’s wickedly smart and TOO TOO FUNNY!

Tonight I’m off to red carpet for a movie wrap party.  My public awaits – heh heh.  Actually, I have to be not-so-Ms. Cheevious tonight, since I am RUNNING the red carpet.  WOOHOO. 

I’ll divulge all next time, I promise!  And YOU!  Well, you just have yourself a fantabulous weekend.  Just be sure to share with the class! 

Love you people!  Mmmmmphhhuuuhhhhh!!!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

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Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious 

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Earth Date: 
October 31, 2009

Cast of Characters:
M.C. Nugget, me (Ms. Cheevious, of course), the lovely, sexy pirate wench Miranda, the spunky, deadly zombie school girl Helenna, and the entire cast of miscellaneous characters at the World Cafe in Santa Monica.

The Recap in Ms.Cheevious Bitchin Badass Speak:

The OHs have it:
Went to the World (cafe, that is), with M.C. Nugget in TOW. 
Okay – he had me.  He’s the boss of me.  So my power is only just – SO.
It was All-Hallow’s-Eve. We were ready to rock.  But we ate so much that we ROLLED. (HA HA).

Now on to the ARGH:
Our best girl Miranda was watching our backs. She saved us seats at the BAR.
And if anyone could it was she mateys. Ay, she’s feared near and FAR.
She sat us down and gave us drink, and that pirate wench said “ARGH.” (okay lame)

And of course the Fa-SHILL – ZL: (ha)
The crew at the World were geared up for mayhem – they were actually dressed to KILL.
There were zombies, a Joker (the Heath Ledger kind) all ready to give us our BILL.
The school girl zombie, Helenna said “To bite you would be a THRILL.”

But wait there’s more – know what I’m talkin bout, “A” ?
A Roadie, some Muppets, and Mini Mouse decided to come to our aid.
So we drank, were merry and ate some more, then went home  – and I got laid. 

HA HA – Just checking to see if you were reading!  Tisk tisk if you weren’t!

So we drank, were merry, and ate some more, til our bill was ready to be PAID. HA HA!

So – here you go people.  It was HALLO-FREAKIN-WEEN!  What else did you expect, except some fun, sexy and of course identity protected photos??? And those are below!

M.C., Helenna, Me & Miranda

M.C. stealing the stage, as usual! hee hee! Me and Miranda

Me Questioning Miranda as to why she was dressed as she was... ha ha

Helenna trying to steal a nibble from the Roadie!

Again with the growling!?? No, you cannot climb through that window! Enough already!

Some of the Muppets came to our rescue!

As you can see, all manner of fun and frivolity took place.  I hope you had a fantastic holiday, and have recovered nicely! Have a nice weekend and be safe, would you?

Love you people!  Mmmmmmphhhuuuhhhh!!!

xoxo,
Ms. Cheevious

——————-

Don’t be Shy!  Leave a Reply!

Register to receive these posts via email!
Go to the Ms. Cheevious Home page, and enter your email address where it asks for it, then click subscribe.  It’s that easy!

Follow Ms. Cheevious on Twitter.
Follow my man M.C. Nugget on Twitter

Blog content copyright 2009, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious