Ms.Cheevious

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again:  RandomEsq (aka Random Esquire), hereafter referred to as “R”, (how’s that for legaleeze?  Notice my swift rise in aptitude to all things legal? Ha ha) is a real lady killer!

I began a dialogue with the now infamous blogger / attorney / food and wine aficionado some months ago, when I approved a reply to one of my blog posts. (Pardon my detour here, but those descriptions for R – blogger, etc – are from my own keen observations, of course. R can’t be blamed for laying the credentials on me.  The attorney credential came pretty simply, given the blog handle “RandomEsq.”  That was a dead give away.  So was the blogger thing.  Be warned: I’m pretty bright.  But the rest came over time, after a few “random” emails and conversations.)  

Ahhh, the first contact. Those are the truly fine moments in any new relationship, aren’t they?  Whether a new friend, love interest, business relationship, or even a new job, the first contact is when we are all on our very best behavior, generally.  But in the blogosphere, there are no rules.  It wasn’t that R’s first reply was earth shattering, creating a great chasm in my personal philosophies or beliefs and causing me to rethink everything I’d ever learned.  It’s just that it was – well – Random. Ha!  I didn’t know this blogger.  Who was this person gracing my little corner of cyberspace?  I had to investigate. I found R’s posts to be witty, interesting and, yes, again, random.  I loved it!  What a novel concept!  A blog about nothing in particular!  (Pun intended).  Great minds think alike, I suppose! 

As so aptly put in the post Meeting Ms. Cheevious, MILF Moniker Maintained, I was the one to de-virginize R in the whole “meetings from the blogosphere” thing.  But I too was new to that game, and I am proud to say that it was DEFINITELY good for me!  ha ha!  Was it good for you R?  How about you Plush?  Plush, a beautiful singer-songwriter and blogger in her own right, is also the subject of many a post on RandomEsq and a love interest of R’s.  We were thrilled to be graced by her presence that Saturday night in Chicago, which is generally reserved for paying gigs – a hot commodity for musician types. 

The meeting and the entire circumstances surrounding our meeting are priceless – segments of which will most certainly be the subject of future blogs. But for various reasons – most importantly the fact that R has chosen to maintain a completely anonymous blog – I won’t share that story here.  You’ll see smatterings of funny stories throughout my career as a writer.  Some of them will refer to a meeting I once had with someone, and the hilarious story that goes along with it.  You won’t know if it’s this meeting I’m referring to or not, but suffice it to say, Random, Plush, my eighth grade best friend (who contacted me through my website, out of the blue in April) and I had a great time, an eventful night, and we alone – well – aside from a few select “in-the-know” people in Seattle, I suppose – are privy to the back-story. 

I’m sorry!  I know, I know!  I’ve fashioned my entire online existence by being completely open and entirely transparent.  I’ve not trained any of you to allow this sort of secrecy.  One day, should R choose to put an end once and for all to this anonymous blog stuff, I’d be happy to divulge all the nitty gritty details.  Until then, however, I must respect a fellow blogger’s wishes.

I’m off now to BOOK EXPO 2008.  Remember last year?  It was an incredibly successful event, after I attended the Writer’s Digest Writer’s Conference.  This year I was not able to participate in the same conference, which was the very thing that opened up many possibilities for my book Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood – Memoir of a Hot Mamma / MILF This!  But I will attend the expo and network like a banshee, nonetheless.

That’s all I have for today.  More sordid, juicy details of my own life to come next week, I assure you.  And I’ll see if I can get access to my little turn on Entertainment Tonight for you all to view. 

Have a FANTASTIC WEEKEND!  Next week I’ll be writing on location from Aspen!

xoxo

—————–

Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

I feel bad for the guy, I really do.  He’s got a brain tumor, and apparently it’s breaking news, even on Entertainment Tonight. So, no E.T. for me tonight, but honestly – I am a bit relieved.  Perhaps they will actually drop the piece altogether, and if nothing else comes of it, I can say I ended up with a great facial treatment!  Wouldn’t that be fantastic?

The piece is now scheduled for next Tuesday, May 27th.  Check your local listings. 

Then maybe I will “see” you next week (well you’d see me, in this case, but you get the idea)!

xoxo,

Ms. Cheevious

No, “ET” is not the extra terrestrial from the movie E.T., though he was cute and all.  Entertainment Tonight is what I’m talkin’ bout.  And I’m gonna’ be on it – TONIGHT!  That’s right you read it right. The reason for my slightly erratic posts of late (my move made me a Delinquent Ms. Cheevious last week, and I didn’t even bother to send it out to my peeps), and even today’s post, (as I normally write this column for Thursdays) is being posted because I am going to be on the show TONIGHT, Wednesday, May 21, 2008.  That is, unless I get preempted by Angelina’s water breaking or something. 

Speaking of preempting.  How sad is it when the story of my now infamous meeting with one of the blogosphere’s own, Random Esquire, is once again preempted by my appearance on Entertainment Tonight?  I guess sometimes life just happens and ya gotta go with what is RIGHT NOW, ya know? The Random Esquire story is great, in and of itself, but it’s nothing (sorry R!) compared to the serendipitous happenings of the past week! I’ve not forgotten the story.  Hopefully I’ll be able to tell it some day.  That is, if I’m not overwhelmed by phone calls from producers and agents after my appearance on national t.v. tonight.  Ha ha!  If so, you know I’ll have to write about it, and bounce all my other stories once again.  But think about it!  I could seriously be bogged down suddenly with all sorts of industry folks clamoring for my attention! 

I know, I know.  I’m just yankin’ your chains.  But sometimes I like to let these types of fantasies run amok in my head. Sometimes that is what makes good things really happen in life.  That’s right. You heard it here first. Fantasy is good.

If only this appearance on t.v. – and I have to say it is NOT anything that will promote me, my friends or any of that fabulous-ness – if only it could promote me and my book, and provide me with some positive publicity!  I’d get my book published in a heart beat. 

Okay.  I have to tell you what really went down and how this all happened: 

I got to Los Angeles last Monday.  I was here little more than a day, and was shopping for a few supplies at Costco, when I gave my girlfriend Sheila a ring. 

“Your ears must be ringing.  Did you know I was just writing about you in a email?”

“What were you writing about me for?” I asked, my curiosity peaked.

“Well, one of the producers from Entertainment Tonight called and they’re wanting to do a segment with lots of drama.  You know, bandages all over, like for a face lift or something.”

Okay, I have to interject here: my girlfriend Sheila works for a prominent cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills.  She is basically the COO for all things in that office and all the doctor’s endeavors. 

But once she said that, I thought ‘Uh oh.  Not again. I’ve been down that road, and it’s not pretty.”  It happened the last time I’d just moved to Los Angeles.  A friend of mine (another Beverly Hills surgeon) asked if I wanted free Botox in exchange for being photographed for some news papers. Little ole me thought, “why not?”  I’d had Botox once before, and I knew it was harmless – but could be costly, so I eagerly agreed.  Unbeknown to me, that little “photographer” my EX doctor-friend mentioned (just kidding Paul!) worked for the Associated Press and the “news papers” meant that any old publication could pick the story up, thus my before and after pictures appeared on the cover of the LA Times, the New York Post and so many others.  Regis and Kathy Lee held up my FROWNING MUG on national television.  I was so embarrassed by the whole episode, and it has never gone away.  Anyone can look up my name and BOTOX on the internet and see those frowning pictures easily.  The worst part is I had my first experience with being misquoted by the media.  I told the slug who photographed me that I worked in television production – which I did.  He wrote down “producer.” So, when Kathy Lee told the country that “Television producer, Lisa J. Davis had Botox” and held up my pictures for all the world to see, my phone started ringing. “So, when did you start producing, Lisa?” some of my acquaintances in the business prodded.  I had to do some fancy footwork to get out of that one, even though technically, I had actually produced.  They just didn’t know about it, and no one had seen what I’d produced.  Doesn’t that just bite?  

Still, hopeful Sheila was not thinking I needed a face lift, I asked “So what does this have to do with me?”

“Well, she wants all this drama, right?  And we don’t have anything on the books, so I am trying to pitch our Fraxel Laser treatment to her, but I need help with the pitch.”

“So, what have you got?” I asked, relieved, and now thinking she just wanted me for my editing prowess.

“Well, I’ve basically explained how right after the Fraxel, the patient has to wear this cooling mask, and it’s kind of dramatic because it looks sort of like ‘Jason’ or some other character out of a horror flick.  When I did the treatment I loved the cooling mask so much and wanted to drive home with it but the office wouldn’t let me do it.  They said I’d get pulled over looking that scarry,” she explained, laughing. “But now I am trying to pitch you.”

“Me?” I asked laughing.  “Why do need to pitch me?”

“Just listen to this, okay?” and she went on to read her initial email:

My girlfriend has just returned to Los Angeles after living in Colorado for the past four years and she is looking really old. 

I stopped her immediately, laughing hysterically (maybe from fear it might be true), “WHAT?! That’s awful!  That’s not true!  Does my skin look that bad?”

She laughed, “Listen!  I had to make it dramatic, but – yeah it’s pretty bad” she laughed again, with her huge, invasive British laugh (okay it’s not really big or invasive, but I had to exact revenge somehow).

In that mili-second, I quickly glanced down the road of where this was going, and decided I needed to ignore what my friend was saying for the moment, and put on the hat she needed.  I needed to help her EDIT THAT EMAIL and FAST.

“No, no.  If you are really wanting to pitch this, you need to paint the picture. What you say is, the frigid, dry Colorado air has taken its toll on her skin.” 

She bought it and sent the email. 

A few minutes later she called me back, ecstatic.  “They loved the idea! They want to do it this week!”  I quickly reminded my best friend that I had movers and handymen and cable men and all manner of men coming to my place THIS week, and if the “men” didn’t say enough (just kidding honey – it’s for the audience, I promise), the fact that I was MOVING should.  I was booked.

“Oh please!  I told them your movers were coming on Thursday, and they want to do it Friday! Can you make it happen?”  I agreed that, should all go according to plan, I could come in for the laser treatment. 

But I wasn’t actually sold on this laser thing. She had to reassure me that the treatment would not scar or cause me to swell up like a balloon.  I listened to all the details an all the worst case scenarios that could occur with the treatment. I won’t go into details, as you’ll have to watch the segment to see what really happens – but I decided it was safe to go for it!

So, there you have it!  My first appearance on national television, and I’m going to look like JASON.  How’s that for a serendipitous occurrence?  As one friend put it, “You’ve got a world of opportunity opening up to you there, and you’ve only been there a day.”

So be sure to tune in tonight!  You will have to check your local listings, but you can go to the Entertainment Tonight website and click on the bottom left navigation “Local Show Finder” as well.  If you read this post too late to tune in, not to worry my little darlings, I will get a copy of the tape and post it later. 

Well, I am off now.  I have to go peruse my wardrobe and get ready for my eventful day.  I may go to the American Idol after-party or something.  Who knows? 

Tah Tah for now.  xoxo

——————————————

Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

Not only am I delinquent in getting my post to you, (I am SORRY!), but it’s not going to be very funny today.  Again, I am sorry.

I am knee deep in moving men, cable guys (first, the Time Warner Cable guy, now the Direct TV guy, since we discovered the cable wiring in our building is archaic), handy men, flooring guys and college kids (my helpers).  Oh my GOD!  I just realized! If that isn’t a dream come true for some of you, I don’t know what is!

I’m finally here in Los Angeles.  I have much to tell you – I’ve not forgotten that I promised to dish on Random Esquire.  I also have a little ditty to tell you about my upcoming appearance on Entertainment Tonight!  I told the story to a good friend and client who said, “You’ve already opened up a world of opportunities, and you’ve only been there a day!”  I guess he was right, but I gotta’ tell ya’ – it’s not for any of my own pursuits, and won’t benefit them either.  It was a favor to a friend (more on that later).  Plus, it’s exhausting! I am in the middle of my move where I should be focused, and my friend pulls me away to do this.  Well – I am off.  

Please forgive me for the cliff-hanger, though it lacks the sizzle it so rightly deserves!  I’ll dish for you next week – and it’ll be GOOD.

xoxo, 

Ms. Cheevious

——————————————

Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious

I’m definitely on the move.

1) Closing documents were signed yesterday on my place in Los Angeles. 

2) I am in Chicago for client meetings.

3) I leave for Moab tomorrow to spend some much needed time with my man.

4) I drive to LA next week to manage the move and try to keep things afloat with my business.

Oi Vei… someone help me.

I will put out a witty, entertaining post next week, I PROMISE!

In the meantime, if you’d like my new location information, please let me know!  If I know you, I’ll pass it along! ha ha…

xoxo – Ms. Cheevious

PS)  Random Esquire is a real lady killer.  More on that next week!

——————————————

Blog content copyright 2008, LISA JEY DAVIS a.k.a. Ms. Cheevious